A New Kind of Denial

“How do you think Gavin’s doing?” I asked Reese one day about a week into our anniversary vacation. We were on our way to the store to pick up a few necessary things, seeing as how we’re staying in a hotel in Cleveland, Ohio for a week. The birthplace of rock-and-roll, as it’s called, is also about an hour away from the town Reese grew up in.

“I think he’s probably doing just great,” Reese chuckled. “Why?”

“Well, he seemed to be pretty peeved about going to Canada. I just hope he’s making the best of it,”

“Why doing you just call him instead of sitting here worrying about it all?”

“Yea, but we’re almost there,” I said, shrugging.

“It’s called a parking lot for a reason, Babe. We can just park when we get there and stay in the car while we talk to him,” he chuckled, reaching over and squeezing my leg.

“I guess I ever thought of that,” I laughed, pulling out my phone and dialing our son’s phone number. As his phone started ringing, I pulled it away from my ear and put it on speaker-phone so that Reese could hear the conversation too.

“Hello?”

“Hey hon, it’s us,” I said, holding the phone in between the two of us.

“Oh, hey Dads,” he chirped. “What’s going on?”

“Well Cam was just worrying about you and how you’re doing up there? So how’s the wonder of Canada?”

“Nice and Canadian,” he laughed.

“Are you having more fun than you thought you would?” Reese asked, smirking at me as if to prove his point, as he pulled into the parking spot at the super center.

“Yea, actually I am. Who knew Canada could be so fun?”

“See, we told you it’s not as bad as you think it is,”

“Well I think it’s the people that are making it fun, really, which is funny because the people are what made me dislike Canada in the first place,”

“That doesn’t really make any sense at all, Gav,” I chuckled.

“Okay, let my re-phrase that,” he laughed. “Before I cam up here, the Canadians that I’d met made me dislike Canada, but now that I’m up here, the people I’ve met make me like Canada more. Especially Mason.”

“Ooh, who’s Mason?”

“Just a boy I met,”

I could practically see him shrugging and blushing.

“Just a boy?” Reese asked sarcastically, smirking. “Or a new boyfriend maybe?”

“We’ve only been on two dates…he’s not my boy friend,”

“Not yet, at least,”

“Reese!” he whined, spitting his name in half for accentuation, making it sound like ‘Ree-eese’ and making me laugh at his childishness.

“What, you don’t think you two will end up being boyfriends?”

“Well I don’t know!” he squealed. “Maybe…but we’ve only known each other for a week. Plus, I’m only going to be here for another month and a half-ish anyways. What would happen when I go back to New Jersey?”

“Gavin,” I started, chuckling at how worried he was. “Don’t think about the ‘what if?’s or the ‘what happens when?’s in life. Think about the now. You obviously like him, right?”

“Yea,”

“Do you like him a lot?”

“Yea, I’m pretty sure,”

“Then think about how much you like him. Think about the good times you’ll have with him - maybe even the bad things - but just think about now and the time you’ll spend with him. And just let your feelings take hold and guide you. As goofy as it sounds, let your heart lead the way,”

“God you give good advise,” Reese said, laughing dryly a bit.

“Yea you do,” Gavin added, sounding a little shocked.

“It’s all from experience,”

“What was the experience that got you that advise?”

“When I got out of high school, I took a year off before I went to college and went to Italy for five months and the UK for five months. Or at least, that was my plan. Then when I got back home, I would have two months plus that summer to figure out my college plans. While I was in the UK, two big things happened; I got into modeling and I met a boy. At first, I was thinking just like you. ’what’s going to happen to my modeling when I go back home?’ ’what’s going to happen with James?’ ’what about -”

“James?” Reese asked, looking at me out of complete confusion.

“Yea, James,”

“Oh, I thought the guy was Jared,”

“No, he was later on,”

“Well, never mind. Keep going with the story,”

“Okay,” I chuckled. “Anyways, my point is, Gavin, that once I started thinking in the now, things seemed to get better, because I wasn’t constantly worrying about what was going to happen once I left. And then it turned out that when I did leave, it was only for about a month, because I’d decided to live in London and keep modeling. None of us know what’s going to happen in our lives until it happens, so we can’t just sit around and mope about something you think is going to happen. So, at least enjoy this thing you have with mason while it lasts and see where it takes you.”

“Damn,” Gavin muttered.

“What?”

“That was really freaking deep,”

“That was,” Reese agreed, placing a hand on my thigh.

“Maybe you should be the therapist instead of Jason,” he laughed.

“No, I think I'll stick to dancing,” I chuckled.

“You could do both,”

“How?”

“You could do a therapeutic dance class and give your clients advice while you teach them to dance,”

“I'm going to say no on that one,”

“Awe, why not?”

“Because I doubt I’d make much money from that,”

“You could technically charge double, since you’re teaching dance and being a therapist,”

“Or I can just stick to my actual job,” I laughed.

“Well, I suppose,” he sighed sarcastically.

“So, speaking of the little mind rapist, how are those two doing?” Reese asked, chuckling a bit. “Still as cute a couple as ever?”

“The cutest married couple in the whole of Canada,” Gavin chuckled back. “I think they like having someone to watch over. I have a feeling they might adopt eventually too.”

“Really?”

“Yea they seem to really like acting as my parents. It’s kind of funny,”

I turned to Reese and asked excitedly, “Could you just imagine those two with a little baby? That would be so adorable!”

“That might be kind of dangerous too though,”

“Why would it be dangerous?”

“Have you seen those two?” Gavin asked, chuckling. “I'm surprised they aren’t dead yet with all the crazy shit they do. They’d have to calm down their lives a whole lot.”

“I mean, it would be adorable and so damn cute if you did adopt, but I don’t know if it’s for them. I'm not sure if they actually would do that. They might not want to give all that up. They’re party boys at heart, and they always have been, so I'm not all that sure that they’d even be able to chance enough to raise a kid.”

“They could always adopt an older kid. There are so many orphans of so many ages out there,”

“Okay, so why are we sounding as if we’re trying to adopt someone for them?” Gavin asked.

“I don’ know. I suppose we all just got excited and caught up in it?” I offered as an answer, not really meaning for it to come out like a question.

“Or maybe it’s that –“ Reese started saying, but was cut short by Gavin.

“Oh, sorry Dads, but Mason’s calling me. Can I call you back later on?”

“Of course hon, go talk to your mew toy,”

He just laughed. “He’s not my toy, but thanks. I love you guys and I'll call you later on, yea?”

“Love you too Gavin,”

“Okay, bye!” he said hastily, hanging up right after. I pressed the end button and slid the phone back into my hoodie pocket.

“Awe, our little Gavin’s got himself a new beau,” Reese giggled, talking in a cute baby-ish voice.

“This is only his…third boyfriend, isn’t it?”

“Yea, he’s only been with Dylan and Jaimy,”

“And Sandy and Abbie and Tanya,” I added.

“Well, they’re his girlfriends, so they’re irrelevant at the moment,” he shrugged, opening his door and swinging his legs out of the door. “You ready to come shopping?”

“As ready as I'll ever be,” I sighed, stepping out of the car and walking over to the man I love.

“You just really despise grocery shopping, don’t you?” he asked rhetorically, laughing.

“Yes,” I groaned very dramatically.

As we started towards the door of the store, he just chuckled a bit more and slung his arm around my shoulder. “Come on, it’s not that painful.”

“Yea, but it’s so boring,”

“It’ll be over before you know it. We only need a few things,”

“This is why you always do the shopping,” I muttered, laughing airily. “I'm so much better at the staying at home part of things.”

“No, you’re just a lazy bum,”

“I am not,”

“Sometimes you are,” he said, bumping me playfully with his hip. “Especially when it comes to cooking and shopping.”

“Yes, but I can’t cook worth a shit, so it’s all okay in the end,”

“If you so ay, honey,” he laughed, taking his arm back so he could pull a cart out of a nearby bin.

“I thought you said we only needed a few things,”

“We do,”

“Then why the cart?”

“I don’t feel like carrying things,”

“Now who’s the lazy bum?” I asked, pushing up the sleeved on my jacket and burying my hands in the pockets. “Oh shit!”

“What?”

“My phone fell out of my pocket!”

“When?”

“I don’t know,” I started, turning a couple of times to look for it. “Oh, there it is,” I said, spotting it a little ways away. I ran off toward it really quickly and didn’t notice the car until I heard the tires squeal and Reese’s voice ring out.

“Camron! No!”

Everything went black as my head bounced off the ground.