We've Got a Big Mess On Our Hands

ABOUT 1 YEAR LATER

WILLIAM’S POV

Gabe and I are on tour together! We’ve been travelling and playing shows for almost two months now, and we only have two weeks left, but I’ll be sad to see it go… It’s so exciting because I pretty much get to be with Gabe every second of every day when we’re not asleep or performing. But now we’re trading off sleeping in each other’s tour buses. Ours happens to have a bed in the back and theirs happens to have extra bunks for the rest of The Academy Is… so it’s possible for us to get some privacy, if you know what I mean…

We’ve really progressed in our relationship. We openly tell each other we love each other… around friends, that is.

Gabe still doesn’t want our relationship going public… and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t getting fed up with it. It’s our one-year anniversary in a week. He should have come to terms with it by now… shouldn’t he?

Well, apart from that, our relationship is doing amazingly well. We’ve got the support of all our family and band members and I keep telling myself that’s all that really matters, but it still bothers me…

“You look deep in thought.” Vicky said from the other side of the table. We were sitting at the dining table of the Cobra Starship bus, me drinking my coffee before Gabe wakes up while Vicky ate her breakfast. Vicky and I had become great friends, too. I hadn’t confided my frustration with the secrecy of our relationship to anyone, let alone Gabe’s best friend.

“I am.” I sighed, taking a big sip of my coffee, trying to get some caffeine into my tired brain.

“What about?” she said.

I sighed. “Just Gabe and I.”

“Nothing too bad, I hope.” she said. “You guys are officially the cutest couple I know.”

“Well…” I said. “Promise not to tell Gabe?”

“I promise.” she said. “Just because we’re best friends, doesn’t mean I tell him everything.”

“It’s just… It’s been almost a year and he still won’t come out to the public.” I said. “He won’t even come out as bi or gay or whatever. It just sometimes feels like he’s ashamed of what we have, but I know he isn’t. I’m just being ridiculous and impatient…”

“You’re not being ridiculous.” Vicky said. “You’re feeling what anyone in your position would be feeling. And while Gabe has figured out how to deal with his sexuality in his personal life, it’s hard for him to figure out how to work it into his professional life. And, unfortunately, in our professions, our sexualities and relationships play a big role in our professional life.”

“I know.” I sighed. “And I understand that. I understand where he’s coming from, but it’s just hard to wait. I’ve been out since the band started, practically… I’ve been ready to tell the world about us since the beginning, so I’m just getting impatient.”

“You know what you need to do?” Vicky said. “Talk to him.”

“How did I know you were going to say that?” I chuckled.

“Because you know I’m right.” she replied. “Gabe loves you. He’s not going to ignore you if you express your feelings to him.”

“But I want him to come out when he’s ready, not because I pressured him… I just want him to be ready now.”

“Then you have to decide what’s more important: letting Gabe do his own thing and really get used to the idea or being open in your relationship to the whole world. And you have to reassure him that it’s his choice, but you sometimes feel like he doesn’t want the world to know because it’s you. He’ll most likely just assure you that it has nothing to do with you or who you are, but just that he isn’t quite ready to put our band on the line like that.”

“Yeah…” I said. “I just wish I knew how to tell him that…”

“Tell who, what?” a sleepy voice came from the bunk section.

“William just wants to tell you how much you stink when you get off of stage.” Vicky said, covering our conversation up seamlessly.

“Is it really bad?” he asked.

“Well…” I said. It wasn’t a lie; he did smell pretty bad when he came off stage… “It’s not unbearable, but some deodorant in the dressing room would be a good idea.”

“All right.” Gabe said. “Good morning, by the way.”

“Good morning, Gabey.” I said, accepting his short kiss on my lips.

“How’d you sleep?” he asked.

“Well, once you let me…” I said, winking, “Quite well.”

“Oh, spare me.” Vicky said. “We all love you guys’ relationship, but what happens in the bedroom, should stay in the bedroom.”

“You know you want to know every, intimate, detail of our sex lives.” Gabe said. “As much as you deny it, you fantasize about us, admit it.”

“I’m leaving before this conversation gets too awkward.” Vicky said. “If you need me, I’ll be in my bunk.”

Gabe and I broke into laughter the moment Vicky left the room.

“You’d think she’d get used to it…” I said. Gabe’s new hobby, or well, his hobby ever since we’ve started dating, was to try and convince Vicky that she found what we did behind closed doors sexy. It just annoyed her and made her blush, which provided hours upon hours of entertainment for Gabe.

“You’d think, but she still hasn’t realized I’m joking yet…” Gabe said. “Well, I find it hot, so I guess I can sound pretty convincing.”

That smirk was my favorite. It always meant he was up to no good, but that happened a lot in Gabe’s life. He looked mischievous, but there was an innocent hint to it, something only Gabe could truly pull off.

“Is something wrong, honey?” Gabe asked. “Willy, you seem really spacey today.”

“It’s just that it’s the morning…” I said. “I only woke up about 20 minutes ago. My brain is still working on the basics.”

“Aww, Willy.” Okay, I know that’s the most ridiculous nickname in the history of nicknames, but I can’t help it… I love everything about Gabe and everything he calls me seems amazingly cute to me. Anyone else, though, and I’d have to kick their ass…

“Maybe I shouldn’t have kept you up so late.” Gabe said.

“Oh, no, that’s definitely not the problem.” I said, leaning into Gabe’s chest. “I can deal with sleep deprivation if it means we stay up late just…us…two.” I nipped at his ear lobe, earning a moan of appreciation.

“Willy, I just woke up.” Gabe groaned. “You know I’m never one to turn you down, especially when it comes to sex, but I have an interview in 2 hours.”

I pouted, but sighed and snuggled my head into his chest. “What do you think they’re going to ask?”

“Oh, nothing out of the ordinary.” he sighed. “Hopefully we can stay away from any relationship questions, but they’re almost unavoidable. I’ve been publicly single for almost a year, now, and people are starting to wonder…”

“Well, maybe you’ve just reformed your manwhore ways.” I said.

“Of course I have. But they can’t know the real reason I’ve stopped all the one-night stands.”

“I’ve been thinking…” I said.

“Don’t hurt yourself, darling.” Gabe laughed.

“Shut up, this is serious.” I said. “What would be so wrong about the press finding out about our relationship?”

Gabe looked at me, shocked. “Are you hearing yourself? What could be right about the press finding out?”

“We wouldn’t have to hide anymore!” I said. “We could actually go out!”

“I thought you were okay with keeping it a secret!” Gabe said. “You never said anything about wanting to come out to the world!”

“I was okay with it, for a while!” I said. “It’s almost been a year! Are you ashamed of me, or something? It’s like you’re more worried about them discovering that it’s me you’re dating rather than the fact that you’re gay!”

“Guys, can you keep it down?” Vicky said. “The guys are still asleep and I’d rather not deal with a tired band for the rest of the day.”

“I have an interview to get ready for.” Gabe said coolly. “Your band probably wants to see you some time as well.”

I looked at Gabe’s retreating back as tears welled up in my eyes… Our first real fight… Almost a year, and not a single fight. The tears spilled over and started to fall down my face.

“Hey, hey, hey…” Vicky said, walking over, she too having been shocked by Gabe’s behavior.
“It’s not your fault. Gabe’s just probably in a bad mood.”

“N-no… I-it’s me.” I said. “I b-brought up th-that I w-wanted the press to-to know about…about… us.” My sobs were coming quicker, making it hard for me to breathe.

“Gabe’s just being an asshole.” Vicky said. “Let him calm down, talk to him tonight. He loves you, William. He’ll listen to what you have to say.”

I stayed there and cried, holding onto Vicky as if she were my last tie to the world. I don’t know what I’d do if Gabe and I didn’t make up…