Status: Completed
We've Got a Big Mess On Our Hands
Chapter 15
GABE’S POV
I know I’d been terrible to William earlier, but I just couldn’t deal with the press knowing. I liked the way things were now. I mean, I know we can’t go out on romantic dates because there’s too much of a chance of us being recognized, but we have enough time together and we certainly aren’t deprived of physical connection… I really love William, I do, but it’s complicated. He’s been openly gay for years, even though the media doesn’t know. He’s had time to get used to it and is secure enough in his sexuality that he’s ready to come out to the world. I, however, am nowhere near as brave or as secure as he is. I’ll always envy his courage and confidence in almost every situation…
I wiped the condensation of the mirror left over from my shower. I had to get ready for my interview. I couldn’t keep thinking about my personal issues. I had to be Gabe, the charming, yet uncommitted manwhore. If I didn’t act a certain way, the press and the fans would notice.
I walked outside of the bus and pulled my hood up. The interview was in one of the media tents near the stages and I didn’t want to deal with the fangirls. I was already in a terrible mood and their shrill shrieks would just make me even more upset.
I can’t believe I’d acted that way towards William. He was my everything, and I’d treated him like shit. He doesn’t deserve that. He’s wonderful towards me, all the time, and all he wants is to be able to hold me in public. I wish I could be all couple-y with him in public, too, but the band and our music is my life. They’re my family, and I know they’d support me in this, but I would never do anything to jeopardize their futures.
And I have to admit… I’m scared. I don’t know what I’d do if people rejected me because of my sexuality and my relationship with William. I mean, William has been out of the closet since his band started, and he was met with mostly positive reactions, but I can’t help but be afraid of the people who’d hate me for it.
I walked into the media tent and towards the area where I was supposed to meet the interviewer.
“Hello, Mr. Saporta!” the short woman said to me. Well, she was probably average height. But I’m tall and I think everyone is short.
“Gabe.” I said, forcing a smile. “Call me Gabe.”
“All right, Gabe, where do you want to do the interview? We have a place here, of course, but if you’d rather it somewhere else… I’d like you to be comfortable.”
“Here is fine.” Come on, just get it over with. I appreciate your concern, but within 30 minutes, you’re going to be asking me questions I really don’t want to answer and I’m going to hate you.
And sure enough, 15 minutes into the interview, that inevitable question comes up.
“So, Gabe. You’ve been keeping mainly to yourself, which is not like you. Any girlfriends we should be hearing about?”
“I’ve just…” Should I tell? It’d make William happy and that’s all that matters, right…?
I wish that were all that mattered.
There’s the band that could possibly hate me for not telling them beforehand. There’s the band that’s become my family that could lose everything because of me. There’s our fans that could turn on us and never look back.
But then there’s William, and Genevieve, and my life at home. There’s the man I love and his happiness. There’s the fact that I could hold his hand whenever I wanted to.
Should I say it now? Just get it over with, like ripping off a bandaid?
All the thoughts were bouncing around in my head, giving me a headache like no other.
The answer is, I’m too much of a pussy to man up and tell everyone, so I hide behind all this. I know the band would support me, and I know we’d have some fans- enough to keep us going at least. I’m just scared of rejection…
“Gabe?” the interviewer said.
“Right.” I said, sighing. “I’ve just decided that I need to start getting serious. I’m getting older and I want someone who I can spend the rest of my life with. You know, all those little Gabriels running around in the future.”
The interviewer seemed unsatisfied with my answer, but thankfully didn’t press on.
I really need to sort this out before I end up hurting everyone around me....
I know I’d been terrible to William earlier, but I just couldn’t deal with the press knowing. I liked the way things were now. I mean, I know we can’t go out on romantic dates because there’s too much of a chance of us being recognized, but we have enough time together and we certainly aren’t deprived of physical connection… I really love William, I do, but it’s complicated. He’s been openly gay for years, even though the media doesn’t know. He’s had time to get used to it and is secure enough in his sexuality that he’s ready to come out to the world. I, however, am nowhere near as brave or as secure as he is. I’ll always envy his courage and confidence in almost every situation…
I wiped the condensation of the mirror left over from my shower. I had to get ready for my interview. I couldn’t keep thinking about my personal issues. I had to be Gabe, the charming, yet uncommitted manwhore. If I didn’t act a certain way, the press and the fans would notice.
I walked outside of the bus and pulled my hood up. The interview was in one of the media tents near the stages and I didn’t want to deal with the fangirls. I was already in a terrible mood and their shrill shrieks would just make me even more upset.
I can’t believe I’d acted that way towards William. He was my everything, and I’d treated him like shit. He doesn’t deserve that. He’s wonderful towards me, all the time, and all he wants is to be able to hold me in public. I wish I could be all couple-y with him in public, too, but the band and our music is my life. They’re my family, and I know they’d support me in this, but I would never do anything to jeopardize their futures.
And I have to admit… I’m scared. I don’t know what I’d do if people rejected me because of my sexuality and my relationship with William. I mean, William has been out of the closet since his band started, and he was met with mostly positive reactions, but I can’t help but be afraid of the people who’d hate me for it.
I walked into the media tent and towards the area where I was supposed to meet the interviewer.
“Hello, Mr. Saporta!” the short woman said to me. Well, she was probably average height. But I’m tall and I think everyone is short.
“Gabe.” I said, forcing a smile. “Call me Gabe.”
“All right, Gabe, where do you want to do the interview? We have a place here, of course, but if you’d rather it somewhere else… I’d like you to be comfortable.”
“Here is fine.” Come on, just get it over with. I appreciate your concern, but within 30 minutes, you’re going to be asking me questions I really don’t want to answer and I’m going to hate you.
And sure enough, 15 minutes into the interview, that inevitable question comes up.
“So, Gabe. You’ve been keeping mainly to yourself, which is not like you. Any girlfriends we should be hearing about?”
“I’ve just…” Should I tell? It’d make William happy and that’s all that matters, right…?
I wish that were all that mattered.
There’s the band that could possibly hate me for not telling them beforehand. There’s the band that’s become my family that could lose everything because of me. There’s our fans that could turn on us and never look back.
But then there’s William, and Genevieve, and my life at home. There’s the man I love and his happiness. There’s the fact that I could hold his hand whenever I wanted to.
Should I say it now? Just get it over with, like ripping off a bandaid?
All the thoughts were bouncing around in my head, giving me a headache like no other.
The answer is, I’m too much of a pussy to man up and tell everyone, so I hide behind all this. I know the band would support me, and I know we’d have some fans- enough to keep us going at least. I’m just scared of rejection…
“Gabe?” the interviewer said.
“Right.” I said, sighing. “I’ve just decided that I need to start getting serious. I’m getting older and I want someone who I can spend the rest of my life with. You know, all those little Gabriels running around in the future.”
The interviewer seemed unsatisfied with my answer, but thankfully didn’t press on.
I really need to sort this out before I end up hurting everyone around me....
♠ ♠ ♠
I WILL NOT POST THE NEXT CHAPTER (which I already have written) UNTIL I GET TO PAGE 3 OF COMMENTS.... It's always been an ambition of mine and we're SO CLOOSSSEEE. and even if we're on page 3, let's push for page 4!!!!Also, whoever is the first commenter on the 4th page, I'll give them something special :) Hopefully that'll inspire you guys?
I don't mean to be a comment whore, or anything, but you know... I love getting the feedback. It makes me feel like there are real people reading my story, not just a glowing number on the computer screen telling me people have read it....
I HAVE AN IMPORTANT QUESTION:
I'm starting to think about the next story and you guys need to help me decide which idea to write first!!!
Idea 1:
A boy has a best girl friend, but boy is gay, so no romance. The best friend's cousin comes to live with her b/c his family was killed in a car crash in which he was the only survivor. He feels responsible and is depressed etc. Can Boy get Cousin out of the depression before it's too late? Will something beautiful come out of this wreck of a situation?
Idea 2:
A boy finds another boy's blog and they bond through shared experiences and end up becoming incredibly close. All is wonderful... until the blogger disappears. What lengths will Boy go through to get Blogger? Will they fall in love? What if the worst has happened? And what if there's some mayhem and a comedically idiotic best friend helping out?
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE (let me, let me, let me...) TELL ME WHICH YOU'D LIKE!
Both are slashies..... It's a newfound love of mine... I need to start writing it SOON so I can have the first chapter and some prewrites ready when this story, as sad as it'll be, finishes!
Thanks to all who commented on the last chapter!
harlequinxlovers - First of all, thanks for consistently commenting, like, every chapter since you started reading. You rock :) Second of all, you may be built of cliche's, but so is life, if you look hard enough :)
ZombieChild - Haha, I like your reasoning! We just might see that very thing happen....
I'd.Be.Your.Tears - William is going through a tough time, but, as you can see here, so is Gabey....
xxCook1eMonstaxx - Your signature is too amazing for words ;)
IxJustxLaugh - Yours was a great suggestion... It actually helped the plot development in a way that I actually have a way to get to the ending I want, so thanks so much for that :) We'll be seeing her soon... keep a good look out!!
ALSO! Since all of you think that Genevieve is the cutest (because she is), I wanted to give you a little something cute to look at :)
CLICK ME FOR CUTENESS!!!
