We've Got a Big Mess On Our Hands

WILLIAM’S POV
I can’t believe we fought like that. I feel so bad for everything I said…

We never fight and it’s generally because I don’t bother with most of the things that upset me.
I’d rather avoid confrontation, and it’s never been something as big as this.

Although, I can’t help but be the slightest bit pissed at Gabe. He’s being such an asshole about all this. I just don’t know how long I can deal with this.

I do have to take into account that the whole gay thing was always a part of my life, public and private, while he is only really just getting used to it in his private life, let alone the public one.

“It’s okay, William.” Vicky said. “Gabe was being an asshole and you have the right to be mad at him. But I bet you 20 bucks that the next time he walks through this door, he’ll apologize for everything he said.”

“It doesn’t solve the problem, though.” I sighed. “I’ll forgive him, of course, and I understand why he isn’t comfortable with letting the whole world know, but I’d rather he talk to me about it, not just get upset when I ask. It’s not like I won’t understand. He’s just stubborn…”

“That’s Gabe for you.” Vicky said.

“I know… and I love him for it, but I just hate this particular aspect of his personality.”

“We all do at times.” Vicky said. “You’ve just gotta let Gabe be Gabe. He’ll come around soon enough.”

But would soon enough be, well, soon enough? I’ve been waiting a year already, and I know it sounds selfish, but I want him to be ready now.

I walked back to the bedroom that Gabe and I shared, but was mine when he slept on his own bus or when he wasn’t here.

I wish I were less understanding. I wish I could be angry with Gabe for this, but I can’t. I understand everything he’s going through and I know how hard he’s working at it so that I can be happy. Why can’t I just be angry with him for one second, goddamnit!

“Willy?” I know that voice.

“Hey, Gabe.”

He winced at the lack of nickname. “I just wanted to apologize. I know I was a dick earlier and I said a lot of things I regret. I just want you to know that I am trying. I want to be open about us just as much as you do… I’m just…”

“Just what, Gabey?” I asked, sitting up and moving to wrap my arms around him. “Talk to me. Let me know what you’re feeling. Maybe I can help.”

“I’m afraid. I’m worried that people will stop liking me once they find out I’m gay.” he muttered into my shoulder.

“Gabey, you know you wouldn’t have anything to worry about. Most of the fans would be supportive, and screw the rest.” I said, running my hand comfortingly up and down his back.

“I know. I just… It’s hard.”

“I know, Gabey.” I said. “I know.”

But not as hard as you’re making it for me…