We've Got a Big Mess On Our Hands

READ AUTHOR'S NOTE

GABE’S POV

I was getting ready for the show backstage, the exact opposite of the bubbly, excited and nervous mess I normally was before a show. I just got dressed quickly and quietly, straightened my hair, picked a hat out of my extensive collection and sat in the green room, drinking a bottle of water and not talking to anyone. The rest of the bands were all talking animatedly about whatever came into their heads, some were practicing guitar parts in the corners, but I hadn’t seen William since the signing today.

“Hey, Vicky?” I asked the girl across from me who was texting someone.

“Yeah?” she said, not even looking up.

“Have you seen Willy- I mean… William today?” I said. “I mean, since the signing.”

“Yeah, ‘course I have.” Vicky said. “He’s just getting ready still. You know how that boy obsesses over his hair.”

“Yeah…” I said. I couldn’t help but think he was avoiding me since the signing. I wanted to apologize to his face, but he wouldn’t be alone in a room with me for longer than five seconds. I hope I didn’t make matters worse…

“You’ll see him performing and at business functions, just like always.” Vicky said. “He’s not exactly able to talk to you like a normal person any more than you’re able to talk to him. Think about it. If he came in here right now, and we all left you two alone, what would you do?”
I sat still, trying to imagine the situation.

“Exactly.” Vicky said, still typing away at her phone. “You’d freeze up until one of you said something and you’d probably end up fucking like rabbits in the middle of the green room, but nothing would be resolved.”

“Hey, we don’t fuck each other that much.” I said defensively.

“We had to work out the bus arrangement because none of us could stand to hear you two any longer.” Vicky said.

“Come on.” I said. “Also, who are you texting so fervently?”

“William.” she said, as if it weren’t the person I was still desperately in love with.

“What?!” I said. “Is he okay? How’s he doing? Does he miss me as much as I miss him?”

“He’s fine. He’s sad and depressed, just like you and yes. He misses you a lot.” Vicky said, finally looking up. “He read your letter.”

I suddenly got incredibly nervous. “What’d he say?”

“Cobra Starship, 5 minutes!” the stage manager called.

Vicky put her phone away and got up to leave.

“No, wait!” I said, following her out to the side of the stage. “What’d he say?”

“You’ll just have to wait and see.” she said, smiling and hugging me around the waist. “You’re my best friend, Gabey. Don’t screw this up for good.”

“I’m trying my hardest not to.”

We went on stage to start playing, my heart hammering like always. I introduced us to the crowd and slipped into my stage persona. I had played enough shows that I didn’t even have to think about what I was doing any more. It just came naturally. When I looked down at the setlist to see what the next song was, I was confused. Someone had taken a black sharpie and scratched out whatever the next song used to be and replaced it with Snakes on A Plane. We didn’t normally play it live, but I guess someone made the executive decision to change the setlist.

“The next song we’re going to play is strongly inspired by a movie.” The crowd screamed in response, the fans already knowing what I was talking about. I heard the rest of the band start up the intro and began singing the first verse.

This song was really getting to me. I don’t know who put this on the setlist, but I’m going to personally kill them tonight on the tour bus.

They know this is the song that broughtWilly and I together. I started to feel the sadness bubbling up inside of me, but I pushed it back and tried to keep up the act that I was just as happy as ever. The chorus came around and I looked at Vicky, who normally sings along with me.

All she was doing was grinning like a mad person. But there was still someone singing along.
The crowd started going insane, so I turned around, trying to find the face that matched that familiar voice that was playing through our speakers.

William Beckett was standing on top of one of our amps, in all his glory, singing his heart out and smiling like no other.

Our eyes locked, and I stopped singing because of the shock. What was he doing here? Was this his way of saying he forgave me?

He walked towards me, still smiling his ass off and acting like nothing was wrong and we were just good friends again.

I didn’t understand. I hope this is him forgiving me… Someone has some explaining to do…

The rest of the band continued playing, and I continued singing. When the instrumental bit came along, William came over and whispered in my ear, “I forgive you. I love you too much to let you go, Gabey. I don’t care if we have to be secretive about it. If you want to keep us private, I’ll do it. I just miss my Gabey. I need you in my life.”

I smiled back at him, and hugged him close. “I missed you, Willy.” I sighed into his shoulder. “I need to tell everyone.”

“Excuse me everyone?” I said into the mic. “I have an announcement.”

The rest of the band stopped playing, already aware of what I was going to say.

“Gabey, you don’t have to do this.” William said, grabbing at my wrist.

“Yes, I do.” I said. “You deserve so much more than a secret relationship.”

“The thing is…” I said to the crowd, “I’m gay.”

There was a wave of shock that came over the audience, then a huge chorus of cheers echoed throughout the venue. I smiled widely at the acceptance they were showing.

“That’s not it though.” I said. “I’ve been in the best relationship of my life with this beautiful man right here for over a year now. I was going to ask him to marry me, but I ended up screwing things up before I could.” More cheers, pretty much deafening this time. They didn’t even cheer this loud when we first came on stage. “But by his singing with me tonight, I’d imagine that he forgives me for being an idiot.”

I looked over at William, who was smiling and nodding, his eyes glistening with unshed tears, his face the image of happiness.

Looking over at William in that moment and seeing the happiness etched across his features and how beautiful he was, I made a decision. I was going to do something that could either make or break me.

I just hope this isn’t the biggest mistake I’ve ever made in my life…