I Need To Be With You

“Was that so hard?” Sam asked.

“Yes.” Dean replied as he wiped away some of his tears. He didn’t like thinking about that place, let alone talking about it. Especially not to Sam, he couldn’t bear to turn around and see the look on his brother’s face.

“You think I’m sick, don’t you?” He asked. Sam reached out and lightly touched Dean’s shoulder.

“Baby no.” He whispered. The words were out before he had a chance to change them. Dean visibly stiffened and Sam pulled his hand away.

“I’m sorry… it slipped.” Sam said. Dean shook his head and turned around before pulling Sam into a kiss. It was sad and desperate, they hadn’t kissed each other that way in over two years and they both needed it. Sam pulled away first, holding the shorter boy at arms’ length.

“What are you doing Dean?” He asked. Dean looked up at Sam with the tears still fresh in his eyes.

“I need you.” He whispered.

“Dean I can’t do that, I can’t just be the person you have sex wi-“

“No. I need you because I love you. I need to be with you.” Dean explained through his tears.

“But you’ve always said that this was wrong, that you should be protecting me. You used to say you didn’t wanna go to hell.” Sam laughed sarcastically. Dean just smiled through his tears and shrugged.

“Hell’s not so bad I guess, if it means I can be with you.” He said. Sam smiled although he felt his own set of tears coming, thinking about Dean being in hell made him feel so helpless, there was nothing he could do for him and he hated himself for it.

“Are you sure?” Sam asked. Dean smiled and nodded his head yes.

Sam smiled back before pulling Dean into another kiss. Dean’s hands lost themselves in Sam’s hair and Sam’s rested lightly on the older man’s hips. Sam hesitantly licked Dean’s bottom lip, testing the waters after so long. Dean complied, opening his mouth and allowing Sam to once again become familiar with the territory that he never forgot.

“Sam, I need you in me, now.” Dean whispered against the younger boy’s lips.

He took off his jacket and shirt and tossed them to the side before climbing in the backseat of the Impala. Sam copied Dean’s actions before climbing in the back seat and laying down on top of the older boy. Pants and boxers came next before Sam had three fingers sliding easily in and out of Dean. The older boy was moaning and pushing down on Sam’s hand, trying to get as much as he could.

“You ready baby?” Sam asked. He waited until he saw Dean’s nod before pulling his fingers out and lining himself up at the older boy’s entrance. Sam leaned down and pressed his lips to Dean’s in a passionate kiss as he pushed in completely. He waited a few moments, letting Dean get used to the forgotten feeling.

“Move Sammy.” Dean whispered.

Sam pulled all the way out before slamming back in. Dean arched his back and wrapped his legs around Sam’s waist, pulling him in as close as he could get. Sam kept up his pace until Dean told him to go faster, so he complied. After he found that sweet spot in Dean he angled himself so that he’d hit it everytime.

Feeling his orgasm coming, Sam reached down and took Dean’s erection into his hand, pumping in time with his own thrusts. Both boys felt tears in their eyes as their orgasms hit them. They hadn’t made love to each other in over two years and they both missed it. They knew they were in love with each other, but it didn’t seem to matter. Dean could never get past the fact that they were brothers, but things have changed and he knows now that he’ll never let Sam go.

Sam pulled out gently before lazily falling on top of Dean, his head resting on the older boy’s chest. Dean smiled and ran his fingers through the younger boy’s hair.

“I love you Sammy.” Dean whispered, feeling another tear slip past his eye.

“I love you too Dean, always have.”