Cliff Talk

I stood outside, near one of the cliffs on the reservation, my face to the large sea in front of me. My mother had told me stories when I was a little girl about this very same sea, how there used to be mythical creatures that lived inside of it, creatures like sirens and mermaids.

If only I could have told her that she had been right about the mythical creatures, but they didn’t live in the water. They lived on the land, right next door. I sat down, letting my feet dangle over the edge of the cliff. I wasn’t afraid of falling; I knew that my reflexes were good enough to let me land in the water like I had dived in.

I had always wondered what life would have been like if she hadn’t married my father. Perhaps if she had married someone else, I wouldn’t have been like I am. I never knew who to blame for my…differences, but I have a feeling it’s my father. I never ask him. I’m afraid to.

I stared out over the ocean, watching the waves break against the edge of the cliff. I missed her a lot more now. With Leah having the baby and talking about mom things, it just made me miss my own a whole lot more. I was really happy for her, but I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy that this baby would have its mother for the rest of his or her life, and I wouldn’t see mine again.

Not to mention the little fact that I wanted a child too. Not now, of course not now. I was only 16. I still had school and my future to focus on. But later, of course I wanted a child. The only problem was the only person I would ever want to have babies with wouldn’t even dream of touching me.

As if he had been waiting on some silent cue from my feelings, I felt that familiar tugging, the pull towards him that always happened whenever he was close. I didn’t have to turn; he was by my side in a second.

“You’re upset.” He said softly, in that Southern drawl of his that hadn’t left even though he had probably spend at least 8 years up North. I didn’t look up at him. I knew once I looked at him I wouldn’t be able to stay mad.

“Yes.”

“I would think you wouldn’t want to have a baby at such a young age.”

“It’s not the fact that I want to have a baby now, but I do want to have one. And you’re refusing to.”

“I would hurt you.” The way he stated it, so simply, so matter-of-factly made me almost believe him. Almost.

“You wouldn’t.” I said, staring out into the ocean.

“Now I know how Edward must have felt on the honeymoon.”

“I’m not human, Jasper. I’m not something fragile or breakable. I can handle it. I can handle you.” I said, turning around and looking at him for the first time in the conversation. His face caught me off guard. It always did, every time I looked at him. His honey eyes were filled with frustration.

“What about the baby?”

“What about it?”

“Nessie was half of Edward and half of Bella. Will our baby be half of each of us?”

“Of course, Jasper.”

“How is that possible? You know vampire venom is poisonous to you. How will a little baby be able to handle it?”

It was as if he had spent days trying to find the only part of this argument that I couldn’t fight back on. I hadn’t considered this before. He was right, of course. Nessie had been half-vampire, half-human. It was only logical that if Jasper and I had a baby, it would be half-vampire, half-werewolf. That couldn’t be healthy or possible. If I did manage to convince Jasper to try, the baby would be condemned to death anyway.

“Ruby…” Jasper said quietly, putting his hand on my shoulder. I knew what he was trying to do.

“Please don’t.” I said softly, and he took his hand off my shoulder. I looked away from him, out to the ocean again. I could feel him trying to make me feel better without going against what I had just asked, but I didn’t want to feel alright right now. I just wanted to mourn for the child that I would never have.

He waited patiently, as he always had, as he always would, until I was finished. As soon as the worst of the tears died down, he came and wrapped his arms around me, soothing me and cradling me. He picked me up with ease, holding me close to him.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, and I looked up at him in disbelief.

“Don’t be. You had no control over this anymore than I did. If anyone should be apologizing, it should be me.” I said, touching his cheek lightly. He smiled.

“There’s no reason to apologize. Let’s get you home.” He said softly, kissing my forehead before blazing off into the forest.

It’s a shame, I thought errantly. He would make the perfect father.