Status: Chapter Three
Brand New Eyes
Chapter Three
Would someone care to classify, our broken hearts and twisted minds.
“Hello Joseph.” Dr. Wyant smiled. I ignored his greeting and sat down on the couch.
We sat there for a while in silence, Dr. Wyant was simply staring at me as if he was waiting for something. I swallowed hard and looked to the side, growing uncomfortable under his gaze. I pulled my sweater sleeve down past my fingers, making sure my new scars didn’t show.
Dr. Wyant sighed and put his notepad and pen to the side before folding his hands together in his lap. “I don’t know what to do anymore Joseph.”
I looked up at him in confusion and he continued. “I’ve asked you every question in the book and you still won’t talk to me.”
I shrugged. “Maybe you should think outside of the book then.”
His eyes went wide for a second before he relaxed, knowing he would have to act normal. I knew he was surprised thought, I mean how could he not be? I’ve seen him every week for two months and he’s never heard me speak.
“Maybe, but then again I’ve never been one to stray from routine.” He replied.
“So…”
“So what?”
“Aren’t you gonna ask me how I’m feeling or whatever?”
He studied me for a moment before grabbing his notebook and pen again. “Is that what you want to talk about?”
I sighed. “I don’t wanna talk at all.”
“Then why are you?”
“For Nick and Kevin.”
“How is this for them?”
I sighed again, thinking back to what Nick said. “They try not to show it but I know I’m scaring them with how I’m acting. Nick’s just a kid, he shouldn’t worry so much and Kevin has enough to deal with already. Taking care of us and working, he doesn’t need to be worrying about me.”
He looked at me for a moment again before scribbling something down on his notepad.
“You know Joseph, you should be doing for yourself mainly. So you can get better, not just for your brothers.” He said.
I laughed, but it was a weird sound, as if it were foreign to me. I guess it was because I honestly couldn't remember the last time I laughed, even sarcastically like I was then. "I'm never going to get better."
“Well why is that? You could if you allowed yourself to. Or do you not understand what you’re doing to yourself?”
“No, I understand perfectly well. But I deserve so I won’t allow myself to get better.”
His brow furrowed and he looked down at his watch. “I wanna continue talking but it seems as though it’s been an hour already.”
I nodded and stood up from the couch before leaving his office. Kevin was waiting right outside and he smiled when he saw me. I bit my lip and looked down to keep from smiling back because he just looked so beautiful. Just like everyday. I knew those thoughts were wrong but it didn’t matter anymore, my blade would be waiting for me at home.
“Hello Joseph.” Dr. Wyant smiled. I ignored his greeting and sat down on the couch.
We sat there for a while in silence, Dr. Wyant was simply staring at me as if he was waiting for something. I swallowed hard and looked to the side, growing uncomfortable under his gaze. I pulled my sweater sleeve down past my fingers, making sure my new scars didn’t show.
Dr. Wyant sighed and put his notepad and pen to the side before folding his hands together in his lap. “I don’t know what to do anymore Joseph.”
I looked up at him in confusion and he continued. “I’ve asked you every question in the book and you still won’t talk to me.”
I shrugged. “Maybe you should think outside of the book then.”
His eyes went wide for a second before he relaxed, knowing he would have to act normal. I knew he was surprised thought, I mean how could he not be? I’ve seen him every week for two months and he’s never heard me speak.
“Maybe, but then again I’ve never been one to stray from routine.” He replied.
“So…”
“So what?”
“Aren’t you gonna ask me how I’m feeling or whatever?”
He studied me for a moment before grabbing his notebook and pen again. “Is that what you want to talk about?”
I sighed. “I don’t wanna talk at all.”
“Then why are you?”
“For Nick and Kevin.”
“How is this for them?”
I sighed again, thinking back to what Nick said. “They try not to show it but I know I’m scaring them with how I’m acting. Nick’s just a kid, he shouldn’t worry so much and Kevin has enough to deal with already. Taking care of us and working, he doesn’t need to be worrying about me.”
He looked at me for a moment again before scribbling something down on his notepad.
“You know Joseph, you should be doing for yourself mainly. So you can get better, not just for your brothers.” He said.
I laughed, but it was a weird sound, as if it were foreign to me. I guess it was because I honestly couldn't remember the last time I laughed, even sarcastically like I was then. "I'm never going to get better."
“Well why is that? You could if you allowed yourself to. Or do you not understand what you’re doing to yourself?”
“No, I understand perfectly well. But I deserve so I won’t allow myself to get better.”
His brow furrowed and he looked down at his watch. “I wanna continue talking but it seems as though it’s been an hour already.”
I nodded and stood up from the couch before leaving his office. Kevin was waiting right outside and he smiled when he saw me. I bit my lip and looked down to keep from smiling back because he just looked so beautiful. Just like everyday. I knew those thoughts were wrong but it didn’t matter anymore, my blade would be waiting for me at home.