Nobody Puts Baby in the Corner
XXIX
“Oh my God, Hayliee. This little dress is so cute!”, Ada squealed.
I walked over to see what she had found. She was holding up a small yellow dress. I rubbed the fabric between my fingers. “Yea, it’s pretty cute.”, I agreed. “Let’s get it.”
On the way to the register, we passed a couple obviously shopping for baby clothes together, and I felt myself starting to cry. I sniffled loudly and Ada wrapped her arm around my shoulders. “Hayliee, what’s wrong?”, she asked. “Missing Johnny?” I nodded, wiping a tear from my cheek. Ada rubbed my shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m sure Johnny wishes he could be here, but he can’t...”
“I know.”, I whimpered. “It’s just, I haven’t seen Johnny in two months. I don’t think I can wait another month to see him again.”
“I’m sure you’ll manage.”, Ada stated. “And if not, I’m always here for you.”
I smiled. “Thanks, Ada.”
“No problem, baby sister.”, she said. “Now let’s check out and go home. I’ve got a surprise for you.”
“Ada...”
“No arguing!”, she shouted. “Let’s go!”
. . .
“SURPRISE!”
The instant I threw open the door, Callie, Carly, Emmy, and Derek’s wife, Anna stood up and screamed, scaring the shit out of me. “Ada...” I looked at my sister suspiciously. “What’s going on?”
“We’re throwing you a baby shower!”, Ada cheered. “Now...sit, sit.”
I sat down cautiously next to Anna, who was bouncing her and Derek’s sixteen month old daughter, Elise, on her knees. She smiled warmly at me. “So, Hayliee, I hear you’re expecting twins.”
“Yea.” I rubbed my stomach and one of the babies kicked against my hand. “A little boy and a little girl. We’ve decided to name them Isaiah Jonathan and Madelyn Marie.”
“We?”, she asked. “So, you’re still with their father?”
“Of course.”, I said flatly. “I’m not a whore. Johnny and I are married.”
“Oh, Hayliee...I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it.”, I grumbled. I folded my hands over my stomach. “So ladies, what’s first on the agenda?”
“Games!”, Ada shouted.
“Ada, I’m not really in the mood to play any games.”
“Well.”, she huffed. “The first game isn’t really a game. It’s more of a lesson, per say.”
“A lesson?”, I asked. “What kind of lesson?”
“A lesson to teach you how to change a diaper.”, Emmy interjected.
“I know how to change a diaper.”, I declared.
“We’ll see about that.”, Ada said slyly.
. . .
“Ha! I told you you couldn’t do it!”, Ada yelled.
“I don’t understand why it’s so hard.”, I mumbled.
“Anna is good at it.”, Callie pointed out.
“She’s already got a baby!”
Anna scooped Elise up from the floor. “Hayliee, it’s not that hard. It just takes some practice.”
“The way I do it, it’s going to take a lot of practice.”, I grumbled.
Ada smacked my arm playfully. “Don’t be such a sourpuss.”, she said. “You’re pregnant. You should be happy. You should be glowing.”
“Well, I’m not.”, I glowered. “I’m fat and cranky and tired and sick. And I just want these babies to come.”
“First of all, Hayliee, you’re not fat.” Ada rubbed my stomach. “You’ve got a slight baby belly. Which is to be expected, I mean, you’re having twins. And second, once these babies do come, it’s going to be a hundred times worse. You and Johnny are going to be ran ragged.” At the sound of Johnny’s name, tears pressed against the backs of my eyes, making them burn. “Oh, Hayliee.”, Ada hugged me tightly. “Don’t cry. You’ll see Johnny again soon.” She paused. “Are you hungry? We have cake. I’ll go get it.” Without waiting for a response, she got up and walked into the kitchen.
Still upset, I turned to Emmy for support. “Emmy, how could Johnny do something like this to me?” I balled my fists at my sides. “Get me pregnant and then leave? I hate him.”
“Oh, you don’t hate him.”, Emmy admonished. “We all know you could never hate Johnny. You’re just upset and emotional.”
“Bullshit.”, I seethed. “I hate him right now.”
“Exactly. Right now.”, Emmy repeated. “Just a few minutes ago, you were crying because you missed him. And tonight you’ll probably be crying Johnny’s name into your pillow, just like you’ve been doing for the past two weeks.”
The tears threatening to fall suddenly burst past their barrier and I was crying. Emmy wrapped her arm comfortingly around my shoulder. “Don’t cry. Ada’s bringing your cake. Why don’t we eat? Maybe you’ll feel better.”
“Yea.” I nodded, determined to snap myself out of this...‘funk’. “I hope I feel better, too.”
. . .
The cake was large and white, with the words ‘Congratulations on your bundles of joy’ written in red script. Underneath that was an ultrasound photo I’d had taken of Isaiah and Madelyn a few weeks ago.
“This looks great.”, I said. “Thanks you guys, this really made me feel a lot better.”
Callie lifted the knife and cut around the ultrasound. She lifted the slice, put it on a plate, and handed it to me. “Here. You get the piece with your babies on it.”
The plate balanced perfectly on my stomach. “Look at this!”, I exclaimed. “I’ve got my own personal table.” Just then, one of the babies kicked, causing my stomach to wobble slightly. The plate pitched forward and I caught it just in time to stop it from hitting the floor. “Or maybe not.”
“I don’t think Isaiah and Madelyn appreciate being used as a table.”, Carly stated, and we all laughed.
Johnny
I stumbled over something, and the beer I was holding sloshed all over my front. I laughed out loud. I was so drunk, I didn’t care that I’d just soaked myself. Suddenly, I was approached by a blonde woman wearing a shirt that barely covered her breasts and skirt so short her ass was hanging out.
“Excuse me, but aren’t you Johnny Christ?” It was the question I expected, the question I was always asked.
My first instinct was to say yes, and whisk this strange woman upstairs. But the light suddenly glinted off the band on my finger, and I remembered Hayliee. Hayliee, my wife. “Yea.”, I answered, several minutes too late. “I am Johnny Christ.”
She took the beer she was holding, a full glass, and poured it over the front of her shirt. She was completely soaked, and no matter how hard I tried to fight it, I felt myself becoming hard. She touched my shoulder lightly and I jumped. “So, uh, why don’t we got upstairs and get out of these wet clothes?”
“No.”, I slurred. “I’m...m-married.”
The woman pretended to glance around the room. “Well, your wife isn’t here, is she?” I shook my head, and she smiled. “So there’s no problem with you helping me change out of these soaking wet clothes.” Then she pressed her hand up against my heat, and that was all it took to break me. I followed her upstairs, locked the door behind us when we found an empty bedroom. We stripped each other quickly, and before I could stop myself or rationalize what I was doing, I found myself filling this woman who was not my wife. This woman who was not the woman I loved. Who was not Hayliee.
I walked over to see what she had found. She was holding up a small yellow dress. I rubbed the fabric between my fingers. “Yea, it’s pretty cute.”, I agreed. “Let’s get it.”
On the way to the register, we passed a couple obviously shopping for baby clothes together, and I felt myself starting to cry. I sniffled loudly and Ada wrapped her arm around my shoulders. “Hayliee, what’s wrong?”, she asked. “Missing Johnny?” I nodded, wiping a tear from my cheek. Ada rubbed my shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m sure Johnny wishes he could be here, but he can’t...”
“I know.”, I whimpered. “It’s just, I haven’t seen Johnny in two months. I don’t think I can wait another month to see him again.”
“I’m sure you’ll manage.”, Ada stated. “And if not, I’m always here for you.”
I smiled. “Thanks, Ada.”
“No problem, baby sister.”, she said. “Now let’s check out and go home. I’ve got a surprise for you.”
“Ada...”
“No arguing!”, she shouted. “Let’s go!”
. . .
“SURPRISE!”
The instant I threw open the door, Callie, Carly, Emmy, and Derek’s wife, Anna stood up and screamed, scaring the shit out of me. “Ada...” I looked at my sister suspiciously. “What’s going on?”
“We’re throwing you a baby shower!”, Ada cheered. “Now...sit, sit.”
I sat down cautiously next to Anna, who was bouncing her and Derek’s sixteen month old daughter, Elise, on her knees. She smiled warmly at me. “So, Hayliee, I hear you’re expecting twins.”
“Yea.” I rubbed my stomach and one of the babies kicked against my hand. “A little boy and a little girl. We’ve decided to name them Isaiah Jonathan and Madelyn Marie.”
“We?”, she asked. “So, you’re still with their father?”
“Of course.”, I said flatly. “I’m not a whore. Johnny and I are married.”
“Oh, Hayliee...I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it.”, I grumbled. I folded my hands over my stomach. “So ladies, what’s first on the agenda?”
“Games!”, Ada shouted.
“Ada, I’m not really in the mood to play any games.”
“Well.”, she huffed. “The first game isn’t really a game. It’s more of a lesson, per say.”
“A lesson?”, I asked. “What kind of lesson?”
“A lesson to teach you how to change a diaper.”, Emmy interjected.
“I know how to change a diaper.”, I declared.
“We’ll see about that.”, Ada said slyly.
. . .
“Ha! I told you you couldn’t do it!”, Ada yelled.
“I don’t understand why it’s so hard.”, I mumbled.
“Anna is good at it.”, Callie pointed out.
“She’s already got a baby!”
Anna scooped Elise up from the floor. “Hayliee, it’s not that hard. It just takes some practice.”
“The way I do it, it’s going to take a lot of practice.”, I grumbled.
Ada smacked my arm playfully. “Don’t be such a sourpuss.”, she said. “You’re pregnant. You should be happy. You should be glowing.”
“Well, I’m not.”, I glowered. “I’m fat and cranky and tired and sick. And I just want these babies to come.”
“First of all, Hayliee, you’re not fat.” Ada rubbed my stomach. “You’ve got a slight baby belly. Which is to be expected, I mean, you’re having twins. And second, once these babies do come, it’s going to be a hundred times worse. You and Johnny are going to be ran ragged.” At the sound of Johnny’s name, tears pressed against the backs of my eyes, making them burn. “Oh, Hayliee.”, Ada hugged me tightly. “Don’t cry. You’ll see Johnny again soon.” She paused. “Are you hungry? We have cake. I’ll go get it.” Without waiting for a response, she got up and walked into the kitchen.
Still upset, I turned to Emmy for support. “Emmy, how could Johnny do something like this to me?” I balled my fists at my sides. “Get me pregnant and then leave? I hate him.”
“Oh, you don’t hate him.”, Emmy admonished. “We all know you could never hate Johnny. You’re just upset and emotional.”
“Bullshit.”, I seethed. “I hate him right now.”
“Exactly. Right now.”, Emmy repeated. “Just a few minutes ago, you were crying because you missed him. And tonight you’ll probably be crying Johnny’s name into your pillow, just like you’ve been doing for the past two weeks.”
The tears threatening to fall suddenly burst past their barrier and I was crying. Emmy wrapped her arm comfortingly around my shoulder. “Don’t cry. Ada’s bringing your cake. Why don’t we eat? Maybe you’ll feel better.”
“Yea.” I nodded, determined to snap myself out of this...‘funk’. “I hope I feel better, too.”
. . .
The cake was large and white, with the words ‘Congratulations on your bundles of joy’ written in red script. Underneath that was an ultrasound photo I’d had taken of Isaiah and Madelyn a few weeks ago.
“This looks great.”, I said. “Thanks you guys, this really made me feel a lot better.”
Callie lifted the knife and cut around the ultrasound. She lifted the slice, put it on a plate, and handed it to me. “Here. You get the piece with your babies on it.”
The plate balanced perfectly on my stomach. “Look at this!”, I exclaimed. “I’ve got my own personal table.” Just then, one of the babies kicked, causing my stomach to wobble slightly. The plate pitched forward and I caught it just in time to stop it from hitting the floor. “Or maybe not.”
“I don’t think Isaiah and Madelyn appreciate being used as a table.”, Carly stated, and we all laughed.
Johnny
I stumbled over something, and the beer I was holding sloshed all over my front. I laughed out loud. I was so drunk, I didn’t care that I’d just soaked myself. Suddenly, I was approached by a blonde woman wearing a shirt that barely covered her breasts and skirt so short her ass was hanging out.
“Excuse me, but aren’t you Johnny Christ?” It was the question I expected, the question I was always asked.
My first instinct was to say yes, and whisk this strange woman upstairs. But the light suddenly glinted off the band on my finger, and I remembered Hayliee. Hayliee, my wife. “Yea.”, I answered, several minutes too late. “I am Johnny Christ.”
She took the beer she was holding, a full glass, and poured it over the front of her shirt. She was completely soaked, and no matter how hard I tried to fight it, I felt myself becoming hard. She touched my shoulder lightly and I jumped. “So, uh, why don’t we got upstairs and get out of these wet clothes?”
“No.”, I slurred. “I’m...m-married.”
The woman pretended to glance around the room. “Well, your wife isn’t here, is she?” I shook my head, and she smiled. “So there’s no problem with you helping me change out of these soaking wet clothes.” Then she pressed her hand up against my heat, and that was all it took to break me. I followed her upstairs, locked the door behind us when we found an empty bedroom. We stripped each other quickly, and before I could stop myself or rationalize what I was doing, I found myself filling this woman who was not my wife. This woman who was not the woman I loved. Who was not Hayliee.