Lost & Found.

I pushed my feet against the cold, tiled floor and almost cried as I stretched out muscles that hadn’t been used correctly in hours. I’d fallen asleep curled up in a corner of the bathroom, crying. My whole body screamed at me as I used the sink to pull myself up, the feeling of the cold ceramic against my warm, sweaty hands sent shivers running up and down my spine.

I looked up into the mirror, ignoring the sight of myself. I wasn’t there, I was invisible. There were no red rimmed eyes staring back through me. There were no chapped lips frowning at me. There was no running nose. No pale skin and no dark, dirty hair. I wasn’t there anymore.

I wasn’t me anymore.

I shuffled my sore legs to the doorway, unlocking and opening the door in one quick movement. It swung open to reveal Fox, who was sitting with his head in his hands at the end of my bed. “Are you okay?” he asked as if he didn’t really want to ask. It sounded like he had a gun to his head and it was the last question in the world he wanted to ask me.

I tried not to let the tear pass, but it did anyway.

I heard him sigh as I settled my gaze onto my feet as I slowly made my way past him and to the bed. I needed to lay down because the world was going topsy-turvy as my body had a fit of vertigo. I slanted towards the side, but strong arms caught me and pushed me forcefully onto the bed, shoving my legs up and covering me silently.

“When I find out what’s wrong, this better have been worth it,” he muttered as he pushed my hair away from my forehead, making me feel even worse.

“What if it’s not?” I whispered hoarsely, not expecting an answer.

And that’s exactly what I got.

I sniffled as I let sleep enrapture me again, pulling me into deep dreams and issues I didn’t want to face.

~~~

I woke to someone knocking on the thick hotel door. They kept pounding and pounding and pounding and a hammer was rocking itself against my skull.

“Stop,” I whispered to myself, fighting the feeling of fresh tears at my eyes. I hated this. I hated it. I hated it. I hated it. “Please stop,” I crawled out of the bed. Crybaby.

“Dammit Rabbit!” Fox’s irritated voice floated through the strong wood between us. “Don’t make me use the damn key,” he pounded one last time before I was finally at the door. I swung it open and made a grand motion into my room, ignoring the holes his eyes were burning into my skin.

Why couldn’t he just go away?

“Still not talking to me?” he asked, sounding angry and frustrated. I kept my swollen eyes to the ground as I walked back to my bed and laid back down, covering my head with a heavy pillow.

I wanted to fall back asleep. I wanted to fall back into the wonderful dream I’d been having.

It was the first good dream since my father’s death.

I opened my eyes a crack only to find darkness. The pillows had eaten me alive.

A smile twisted it’s way upon my features.

“What did I do to upset you this much?” he asked me, falling onto the bed beside me. I only knew because the bed shifted just enough, making a creaky sound of protest. There was a soft whispering of his fingertips against my arm. I ignored him again, clenching my eyes shut tight only to find the same unfathomable darkness as before.

It smelt like strawberries.

I took deep breath after deep breath, counting the times the air went in and out. My eyes became less clenched as my breathing became more steady and my body became less tense as I slowly started to float.

You’re gonna be fine, don’t hold it inside. If you hurt right now then let it all come out. Breathe, just breathe.

“You’re starting to scare me,” Fox murmured, letting his hands drift over the back of my head, the only part of me left exposed after the masses of blankets and the barricade of my pillow.

I’m sorry, I thought to myself, but the words never passed my lips.

“Check out is in an hour. Are we leaving?” he asked, standing up and walking out of the room.

A sigh filled my room as I exited the cocoon I’d made for myself. “I’d better get packed then.”

The response was the soft clicking of the door.

My feet were unsteady as I packed my duffel and shoved random items into my backpack, including the mini bottles of shampoo and conditioner left in the bathroom. Those could come in handy some time.

Suddenly, I felt as if I was in my own little action/adventure game. Collecting things for the future challenges, just hoping they’ll come in handy. Sometimes just carrying around junk because the game makes you think you have to have what you don’t.

That’s what life is, right?

A game?

I giggled to myself as I pushed open my door and knocked on Fox’s. He answered instantly with a bag slung over his shoulder. He’d been expecting this.

“I’m sorry,” I said, looking straight into his grey speckled, green eyes.

And suddenly everything seemed right in the world.

But that doesn’t mean that it was.

“You’re not getting off that easily,” he said, but I could see his resolve slipping.

I sighed, shifting my feet and starting to walk down the hallway, “I think I knew that.”