Lost & Found.

“What do you mean by ‘everything’?” I asked shiftily.

“I mean everything. Do we need a dictionary?” The joke was lame, but I laughed softly anyway. Anything to break this melancholy mood was a comfort.

“From when, I mean. Do you want the gruesome story of my birth?” I tried to joke back lightly. But birth reminded me of my father, who wasn’t really my father. “Actually, that’s a good place to start,” I sighed, letting my head fall backwards. I pulled myself back forward until I heard my neck pop.

“Then start there,” Fox held a small smile even though I’m sure he wasn’t very happy.

“Okay, so apparently I was adopted. Both Kenny and I were, but we were never told until a bit before I left,” I felt like apologizing already for how confusing this must sound. I was having a hard time remembering any specifics. It was like my mind was already blocking out the memories. “My dad died a few months before she decided to break the news to us.” I spit it out venomously.

“Us being you and Kenny?” Fox clarified.

I sighed, running my shaking fingers through my dark hair. “Yeah, sorry. I’m a little,” I let my voice hang, not knowing how to explain the feelings that were jumping inside of me.

“Flustered?”

“That’s a good word for it,” I decided after a second of thought. “Kenny and I have always been so different. You almost remind me of her personality wise. She was always wearing old rock shirts and ripped jeans and... and yeah. We were almost total opposites.” I smiled fondly, remembering the live wire she’d always been. So full of energy and cynicism. “She took the news pretty hard, and she bit back, making things tougher on the both of us. Our foster mother had always been a bitch, but it just got worse ten fold. She was drinking and smoking and everything was just a mess. I had to get a job, and I know that might sound weird, but we led a pretty privileged life. Our dad loved us.” I was crying again. Fox wrapped his arms around me, pulling me gently over the center consul.

“Why’d you end up leaving?” he asked quietly, making me feel as if I didn’t have to answer, even though I did.

I took a deep breath and thought the words out as he stroked small pieces of hair off of my forehead. “Well, Kenny and I got into a fight because I wasn’t exactly fighting for her or even myself. I was kind of popular at school and I guess people figured it was the perfect opportunity to de-crown me or something. That sounds completely bitchy, but it felt like just everyone was turning against me. They started using my father against me and I had no one anymore so I just snapped one day... and I left.”

We sat in quiet for a minute. “How could they use your dad against you?”

I shifted uncomfortably for a second, looking shiftily out the windshield. “Are you a big reader?”

He smiled back at me, wiping tears gently from my face. “Wouldn’t expect that would you? I’m more into Stephen King, Dean Koontz, Richard Johnston kind of stuff.” I stopped breathing for a minute. He’d listed my dad without realizing it.

I smiled then, but it was more of an awkward ‘what do I say now?’ kind of smile. I rubbed the back of my neck awkwardly, shifting silently, looking out all the windows. Fox laughed beside me. “What did I say?”

“My dad was kind of a famous author,” I murmured, deciding that the window beside me had the best view. A car was starting to pull over, probably to ask and make sure that the two of us were okay. I waved them on quickly, starting the car and pulling back onto the road.

“So?” he asked, trying to push the answer out of me. He wasn’t the patient type, I knew that.

I sighed, shoving stray hairs back from my face. “So... so they,” I groaned. He wouldn’t understand. “Whatever. I guess it doesn’t matter.”

“No,” he protested, I could feel him leaning towards me in his seat. “It does matter. Tell me who your dad was.” His smile was mischievous.

There was a joking tone to his voice now. It was starting to feel like we were real friends, though I guess I wouldn’t really know what that felt like. It’d been so long since Kendra and I interacted like that with one another. “Put your seatbelt on before you get me a ticket,” I ignored him, pointing to the strap that should have been pulled across his chest.

“Tell me first, then I swear I’ll do whatever you say.”

I looked over at him with slightly narrowed eyes. “I don’t believe you.”

A pleading puppy-dog look was all it took from him, though, to get me to spill my guts. “Please?”



“Johnston. My name is Ashlynn Johnston,” I yelled at him as a cop started to come up behind me. “Put it on. Now.”

“So demanding,” he laughed. I nervously laughed back before hitting the radio back onto loud.

‘Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear and I can’t help but ask myself how much I let the fear take the wheel and steer. It’s driven me before and it seems to have a vague, haunting mass appeal. But lately I’m beginning to find that I should be the one behind the wheel. Whatever tomorrow brings, I’ll be there with open arms and open eyes, yeah.’

The song sounded hauntingly familiar, but I’d never related to the words so well. “So,” Fox drug out the word, breaking the enchantment the music had cast upon me. “What’s it like to be a famous mystery writer’s daughter?”

I shook my head. “Adopted daughter?” I smiled and rolled my eyes into the rearview mirror where the police car was still following. “And it’s pretty sweet actually. He was always working and stuff, but he was sweet.” I smiled remembering the little things about him.

He thought that coffee was the most vile thing on Earth and he loved both Kenny and I with all his heart. Maybe that was why his wife hated us so much, jealousy is an evil creature. He lived in his office, but we were welcome to disturb at any time. He burnt from the sun worse than anyone I’d ever seen and every now and then you could see a bald spot through his ever-died dark hair. His eyes always sparkled like there were tears hiding behind the happiness. He was tall and almost always dressed like Kenny, old jeans and worn out t-shirts from his younger years. I smiled to myself.

“Ground control to Rabbit,” Fox muttered, waving a hand in front of my face, eyes shifting carefully to the mirror where the cop was still watching us suspiciously. “What were you thinking about?” he asked with an almost nervous smile.

“My dad,” I grinned, though even I was worried about the police officer.

You tend to get nervous around people of authority when you’ve run away. I still doubted anybody was looking for me, though.

I drove carefully for another mile, listening to whatever soft song was bleeding through the speakers now. He followed us closely, eyes glued to me. At least that’s what my more paranoid half was saying.

Suddenly, as I was turning a corner, blue and red started flashing from behind me and a loud siren blared from too close. “What the fuck?!” I yelled, trying to figure out what exactly I’d done wrong.

Fox held onto my shoulder almost comfortingly as I pulled onto the side of the road again. “You didn’t do anything wrong. Calm down.”

I took a deep breath, nodding in his direction as I quickly rolled down my window. Footsteps crunched against the gravel, approaching me as my heart started to pound against my chest. Sunglasses glared at me through the window and I turned to smile at them.

“Hey,” I said as cheerily as possible, considering the situation.

“Can I see some identification?”

My heart stopped beating for just a second.