The World of a Disgruntled Rockstar

So there I sat in AM, with my headphones this time. This morning I had straightened my shoulder length blond black and red hair. Only to cover my ears so no one saw my ear buds. The therapist was droning on about something to my brother. He said my name and caught my attention.

"So AJ...how does it make you feel when your sister gets in all these fights?"

'Are you fucking kidding me right now...'

"I don't know. I get in just as many fights as she does." AJ shrugged.

"Don't you ever get sick of bailing her out?"

"Benji shut the fuck up right now before my foot goes up your fucking ass..."

"Samantha please..."

"No! Since when was this whole fucking session about me?"

"Sam calm down. He only asked me a question..."

"Fuck this..." I got up and walked away. No way in hell am I gunna sit there and be attacked like that. Fuck them. I stormed outside into the damp rain. We've only been here three days...three fucking days and they are already trying to turn my brother against me. I bet you its Jen's fault. She wants anything with a dick...including my brother. God I wish his girlfriend was here. She would help me dispose of the douchebag. I continued to walk in a huff when I bumped into someone. Looking up I see Tom. Of course.

"What's your problem?" His accent was so fucking hot.

"Group bullshit. I'm hoping to get my ass kicked out of here."

"Why?"

"Cause I don't want nor need to be here. I don't understand how they can fucking make us stay here against our will. Isn't that kidnapping?" He went to answer when the bell rang. My brother seemed to storm out of the room.

"What the fuck Sam?!"

"What?"

"Can you stop acting like a little fucking kid for once and just listen to what people have to fucking say?" I was in shock. AJ never spoke to me like this. He just pushed past me and continued to our bunks. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned to see Tom with a sympathetic look.

"Watch out dude. She'll chew you up and spit you back out. Trust me I fucking know..."

"Benji I swear to fucking God..."

"What are you gunna do? Your brother is already pissed off at you. Gunna make him even more mad? That would be classic Sammi." I took a step towards him but someone beat me to it.

"Look just because you have a history with her means jack shit. You try to be big man on campus but you're just a scared little pussy cat. Now why don't you run along and leave mine and Sammi's affairs alone?" I was beginning to like this German boy a lot more than I already had. Benji just huffed and walked away. Tom shook his head and turned towards me. I gave him a small smile and rubbed my shoulder.

"Thanks."

"Not a problem. I hate guys who pick on women. Now don't worry about your brother. He'll come around."

"Yeah this tends to happen a lot. But meh whatever." I shrugged and sighed. "I'm gunna go grab my guitar and go play by the water..."

"Alright have fun. I've got some stuff to take care of." We nodded at each other and parted ways. I grabbed my guitar and sat on the stone and began strumming.

"The lights go out all around me
One last candle to keep out the night
And then the darkness surrounds me
I know i'm alive but i feel like i've died
And all that's left is to accept that it's over
My dreams ran like sand through the fists that i made
I try to keep warm but i just grow colder
I feel like i'm slipping away

After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday i'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best i can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I'll wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though i can't understand why this happened
I know that i will when i look back someday
And see how you've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday i'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

Here i am, at the end of me
Tryin to hold to what i can't see
I forgot how to hope
This night's been so long
I cling to Your promise
There will be a dawn

After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday i'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain"

"How is it you can write such beautiful songs but you are so angry?" I jumped and turned to see Tom.

"Thought you had stuff to do?"

"Nah I decided to take your lead..." He sat next to me with his guitar in hand. He smiled at me. "Now you didn't answer my question."

"Oh well. I've been through a lot of shit and I don't like sharing myself with people. I don't trust people."

"You can trust me."

"I've only known you for three days there buddy..."

"But that song...it was so sad."

"It kind of is but it kind of isn't if you really listen to it. It says after all I've been through. I'm still here. And I'm gunna stay here. And fight."

"That's gorgeous."

"Uhm thanks..."

"You're cute when you blush."

"Oh really?"

"Ja..." He began playing with his lip ring which caused me to play with mine. We laughed together. The bell rang and we both groaned. "Time for AA..."

"Yippie....Walk with me?"

"Ja I'd love too." We both stood and stretched. Putting our precious guitars away we walked to AA. AJ still looked mad at me when I walked in. I sat next to him and Tom. He looked at me and I mouthed sorry. He gave me a small smile and pulled me into a hug just as the whore walked in. She looked at me with a disgusted look. I felt my fist clench but to my surprise it wasn't AJ who gently placed his hand on mine to relieve the tension. It was Tom.