I'm Walking on an Edge; That's How I Stay Alive

I scrolled through my wall on Facebook. A group of fans saw John and I kissing goodbye before he left to go record in L.A. They took pictures of us, tagged me in them, and told all their friends to talk shit about me on my wall. Hundreds of posts from fan girls calling me a whore, a slut, and telling me to 'stay away from my man' because I don't deserve him. They bashed me mercilessly, sticking up for Kennedy. I shut my laptop and curled into a ball. Wiping my eyes, I picked up my phone and called John.

"Hey baby girl," he cooed.

I sniffled, "Hi."

"What's wrong?"

"John, look at my Facebook."

"Okay, give me a second. Are you okay?"

I choked on a sob, "No. But once you read my Facebook, you'll know why."

"Alright," he said, "I'm opening Facebook."

I just sniffled, curling into one of John's hoodies. I stayed quiet as he read.

"Oh my god. W-what…babe…I don't...I'm so sorry."

"I didn't even think of this, John."

"I didn't either, babe."

"John, I have family on my Facebook. What do I do?"

"Make a new Facebook, babe. Deactivate or delete the old one."

"I guess."

"God, Noelle, I'm so sorry."

"I'm deleting my Facebook."

"Good idea. You can add everyone later."

"John…I don't know what to do. I can't even leave my house without one of the girls being with me. I had to quit my job because they kept harassing me."

"Baby girl, I have to go, but I'll call you later, okay?"

"Okay, I love you, John."

"I love you, too, baby."

We hung up and I deleted my Facebook, then rolled over, shutting out the world.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

I ran a hand over my face, sighing.

"John, you okay?"

I looked over at Max and shook my head.

"What's wrong?"

I sighed, "Someone saw Noelle and I saying goodbye to each other and they trashed her on her Facebook Wall. There's hundreds of posts of people calling her a slut and it's all over Twitter and stuff. She's lying in her bed, crying and I feel horrible. She had to quit her job because fans are harassing her. She can't leave her apartment."

"Do you want to bring her here?"

I looked at Max, "You'd do that?"

Max nodded, "I know she's important to you. But you have to ask Kenny if it's alright with him."

Pat and Jared walked onto the bus, "What are you guys talking about?" Pat asked.

"Noelle is getting harassed by fans and Max suggested bringing her here," I explained.

"Are you guys cool with that?" Max asked.

Pat and Jared both agreed. When Garrett came on the bus, we asked him, and he agreed. Then Kennedy walked on the bus with Aaron, and everyone looked at me. Max signaled me to talk to him.

I took a deep breath, "Kennedy, can I talk to you?"

He looked over at me, stopping his conversation with Aaron. He just nodded and we walked into the back lounge. He sat down on the couch as I closed the door behind me. I sat across from him, crossing my legs.

"What's up, John?" Kennedy asked, "Is everything okay?"

I nodded, "So, how are you…coping?"

He sighed, "I'm doing better. I forgave you, as you know. And I forgive Noelle, I'm just waiting until we get home to tell her. I don't want to do it over the phone."

I nodded again, "Well, that's good."

"Why? What's wrong?" he asked.

I sighed, "The fans are harassing her," I said honestly, "She had to quit her job. For the last month, she hasn't been able to go out alone. They call her a slut and a gold-digger. We didn't think of this. Her Facebook Wall is covered in posts about how she doesn't deserve me. Girls are torturing her, literally."

Kennedy's jaw dropped when he heard this.

"Really? How could they do that?"

I shrugged, "I can't believe it. They're saying such vicious things."

Kennedy looked up at me, "What can we do?"

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Max suggested bringing her here. We wanted to make sure you were okay with it."

He looked like he understood. He was quiet for a minute.

"Kennedy, you know we're sorry about how this happened."

He looked at me, "I know, John. But if you guys kind of ease into kissing and stuff in front of me, just to get used to it, I think I'll be okay."

I nodded quickly, "Anything, Kennedy."

He smiled, "Then I'm fine with it."

I breathed a sigh of relief, "Oh, Kennedy, thank you."

He nodded, "Go call her."

I grinned and ran to my bunk, grabbing my phone out of my pocket. I dialed Noelle and lied down in my bunk.

She picked up with a sniffle and a sad greeting.

"Baby," I sighed, "I have good news."

"What's that?"

"Kennedy is okay with you coming."

She choked a sob, "Oh John, I can't wait. I'm so happy. Fly me out as soon as possible."

"Our next day off is in like a week, and we're gonna be in Maryland, visiting Alex and the guys."

"Can I fly out then? I wanna see them."

I smiled, "Anything for you."

"I love you so much, John."

I felt butterflies in my stomach, "I love you, too, Noelle."

"I have to go, babe. The girls are taking me shopping."

"I'll let you know when I get the flight information."

"Okay. Thank you baby."

We hung up and I signed onto my Facebook, and went to Noelle's page, reading the comments.

what a whore! is jared next?

stay away from the maine!

fuck u! u broke kennys heart!

date the rest of the guys, fucking bitch.

if i ever see u, imma fuck u up

I put my phone down and put my hands over my face. I never even considered this to happen. I was so focused on getting her to be mine that the public opinion didn't even cross my mind. Now, I had possibly fucked her up psychologically. I got out of my bunk and found Max.

"I talked to Kenny," I said.

Max looked up at me from his laptop, "And?"

"Find a ticket for the day off in Maryland. The earliest flight possible."

Max smiled, "Will do. I'll call the airline and get her a first class ticket."

I nodded, "Thanks, Max."

He smiled, "Anything for you, bro."