I'm Walking on an Edge; That's How I Stay Alive

I looked at John, no doubt a scared look on his face. He searched my face, confused.

"What?" he asked, "What's wrong?"

I didn't answer him. I was frozen. We'd never discussed anything other than sneaking around, stealing kisses when no one could see us. Sure, our connection was undeniable, but he had never hinted at anything other than our hushed relationship.

"Noelle, tell me what's wrong," he demanded.

I looked into his intense eyes, "John, you've never said anything about us having a relationship, why are you bringing it up now?"

He backed up, off of me and stood alone in the middle of the closet. He crossed his arms, but stayed silent for a minute, probably choosing his words carefully.

"I don't know about a relationship, necessarily," he said, "I mean, I know you feel guilty about cheating on Kennedy, so I thought it would make this easier."

I scoffed in disgust, "You want me to break the heart of one of the nicest boys in the world, so we can continue this friends with benefits deal?! What the fuck, John?!"

He rolled his eyes, "Noelle, you're breaking his heart right now, he just doesn't know it."

"So, you want me to break his heart, and I get no change out of this? John, think about how selfish that sounds."

I pushed past him and out of the closet. There was nobody around, so I went back to the dressing room and saw everyone still there. I subtly wiped my lip of any trace of John before sitting on Kennedy's lap.

"Hey babe, feeling better?" he asked, kissing my cheek.

I tried to put the good feeling John's kiss gave me into the smile I faked, "Yeah, I think I've calmed down a little."

He kissed my shoulder, "Good."

He returned to his conversation with Garrett and Pat, and I sat there quietly, not really paying attention.

A few minutes later, John ran into the room, followed by a stage tech, who announced the band had two minutes and should get to the side of the stage. I stood up so Kennedy could stand. The band filed out of the room, followed by Danielle, Nicole, and me. Kennedy slung his guitar over his shoulders, grabbed my hand and brought me into their 'pre-show ritual.' After we all jumped around like fools, he pulled me into a dark corner.

"I need to ask you something," he said.

I nodded, "What's up?"

"I have a question. Um, it's not like a demand or anything, simply a suggestion. I've talked to the guys, and they think it's a good idea. Why don't you ride out the rest of the tour with me?"

I frowned, "What about my job?"

"You can take time off, or quit, even," he said, "Nothing's set in stone, it's totally up to you. You can take the quickest time off or whatever, or just quit. Just think about it, yeah?"

I saw the other guys going onstage, "Go, babe, we can talk about this later."

He smiled and kissed my cheek, before jogging over to the band. I took my place next to Nicole, completely ignoring Danielle.

"What did Kenny want?" Nicole asked.

"He wants me to go on tour with him. Either quit work or take a vacation."

She nodded, "You deserve a vacay, babe. Go with him."

I watched the band, and even though I was pissed at John, I couldn't help but watch him the most.

"I think I'm gonna quit," I said after a few minutes, "I hate it there anyway."

Nicole smiled, "Maybe you can ask Tim if you can sell merch or something on tour, ya know, to make some cash."

I nodded, "Maybe."

About half an hour later, John addressed the crowd.

"This is a sexy crowd tonight. I think you guys deserve a song to show you how sexy you are. This song is called 'Pour Some Sugar On Me', sing along if you know it."

I watched John, glancing at Kennedy every so often to make sure he wasn't aware of how bad John was turning me on during this song. I bit my lip as he shook his hips to the beat of the song. He turned to me and must've saw the look of lust in my eyes, because he winked at me, turning his behavior up a notch. I could hear the little girls squeal as he 'humped' the air and smirking.

"He's really into this song tonight," Nicole noted.

A carnal smile spread across my face, "So am I."

Nicole laughed, "Is he putting on a show for you?"

"I'm so going on tour if I get to see that every night," I said, "Even though I am pissed at him, that boy's got it."

"What did he do?" Nicole asked, turning and completely shutting Danielle away, who gave us a dirty look.

I smirked, "Can I tell you after this song?"

She laughed, "Sure, babe."

I watched John, still keeping an eye on Kennedy. The song ended and John let out a breath.

"I lied, I dedicate that song to a girl who I know loved that," he said, an evil lilt in his voice, "So, that song goes out to her. She knows who she is."

The band looked almost confused for a second. They launched into another song and I turned to Nicole.

"Well, when we were both gone, we were in the janitor's closet," I told her, "And we were making out and out of nowhere he tells me to break up with Kennedy."

Nicole gasped, "What?"

I nodded, "I know! Never has he suggested making this," I paused, "thing more than it is. Then I said something about that and he said he didn't want our situation to change, he just didn't want to feel guilty."

She sighed, "I don't know, girl, but I'd hold onto those hips," she said, jerking her head in John's direction, "You saw how they moved."

I smirked, "I don't care if I'm mad at him, I need some John Ohh tonight. That was so sexy."

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A perk of John and my friendship is that we were both major movie buffs. We had 'movie nights' where we would hole up and watch movies together. Nobody interrupted us unless it was an emergency because they knew how John and I were with movies. This is a huge mistake on everyone's part because lately they were an excuse to get together and fuck quietly.

You'll never appreciate quiet sex until you've had it with John.

When the boys got back from their show, Nicole and I were sitting on a love seat in the dressing room, completely ignoring Danielle. Kennedy leaned down and kissed me quickly before crossing the dressing room to pick up a water bottle.

"Hey John," I called out casually.

He looked at me, still smiling from whatever Jared said, "What's up, girl?"

I smiled innocently, "When are we staying in a hotel?"

He raised an eyebrow, "Um, tonight, why?"

I kept that innocent air, "Wanna have a movie night tonight?"

A grin stretched over his thin lips that sent my heart into overdrive, "Absolutely. What are we watching tonight?"

I thought for a minute, "Fast and the Furious?" I asked.

John smiled, "Sure. We can see how many we can fit in," he said.

I laughed, "Okay."