Now I panic?

"How about an ipod? We'll you as much music as you want, so get the biggest on they have. Go ahead; pick one."

I rub my hands over my face.

We're at the mall, and i'm exhausted. I HATE shopping. I've bought a years worth of clothing that i'll probably never wear, and a ton and a half of accessories. Now we're looking at electronics.

I pick out an ipod and almost twenty $50 gift cards just so they'll leave me alone.

"Get a case too sweetie. And some skins."

I turn to them.

"Listen you guys. I don't want all this stuff!" I drop my bags at my feet, exasperated.

"I wan you guys' attention and love... not all of this junk. You wonder why I chose to live with Mark instead of you. This is why: I knew that Mark and the guys would pay attention to me. They'd spend time with me, even though they wouldn't be able to buy me things."

"That's where you screwed up. You bought me everything I wanted, when all I wanted was you. You bought me stuff to make up for the fact that you weren't there, instead of justtrying to be there for me yourselves. You were NEVER THERE, and you knew it. I'd wish we were dirt poor sometimes just so I could spend time with you."

I pick up my bags and walk to the door. "Let's just go home. I want to spend time with you, not your money. Let's try to make up some of the time we've missed together okay?"

.....................................................................................

"So honey... I think it's about time to tell you what we brought you down here for."

I tense up. I forgot all about the reason i'm here.

We've been having such a good time , playing some games, and even making cookies together(even though they're not supposed to be eating sugar), and we even watched a couple movies... but now, we get back to business.

"O... kay..." I'm scared, no lie.

Dad pulls out a peice of heavy paper, handing it to me face-down.

"Now honey," mom starts, "when you read this contract, we want you to stay calm. No matter what it says, it's not final, and we can try to negotiate it out. Take a deep breath, and open your mind-"

I flip the paper over and read it quickly, then another time, and one more, before setting it down next to me on the sofa.

Mom and dad watch me for a reaction, but I don't give them anything.

"Well? What are you thinking?" Mom looks slightly afraid.; pale and tense, clasping and unclasping her hands in her lap.

"Honestly? I'm trying to figure out how the two people I respect most, could be so stupid. I'm trying to figure out if you're both on drugs; maybe you've sniffed one printer ink fume too many."

Dad's eyes narrow. "Now you listen up young lady-"

"No! You listen!" I stand up with the piece of paper.

"This? This is by far, the stupidest thing you two have ever done! I knew you were both lying, money hungry, scum, but this just tops it all off."

Mom stands up, pleading with me. "Honey please; we didn't have a choice. We-"

"I'm in a freaking ARRANGED MARRIAGE," I scream at her, finally losing it. "What do you mean you didn't have a choice?!" I break down, sobbing and shivering.

"I wish I had different parents. How could you guys do this to me?"

I slide down onto the floor, curling in on myself, still crying and shaking, my breath coming in short gasps; a full on panic attack.

Mom kneel beside me and runs a hand over my hair repeatedly. It takes a while for me to open my eyes and realize that she's crying too.

"I'm sos sorry," she says finally, when i'm able able to stop crying. My body wont stop shaking though.

She sits down fully, pulling me onto her lap, still stroking my hair. My head is on her chest, and I hear the steady beat of her heart. She takes a deep breath.

"I know... that we haven't been good parent. I haven't been a good mother. Your father was already too focused on work before you were born. We used to hang out a lot; until your father got promoted. Then we could afford anything.. and so we did."

She gets a dazed, faraway look.

"We started going on vacations-We'd never gone on real vacations before... and we eventually got carried away, and ran out of money. We started borrowing money from friends, to take care of you at least. Mr. Thomas was source of most of our money, and one..." She trails off, her voice breaking.

Her arms tighten around, and she smoothes my hair.

"We were desperate; we just wanted more money and we- we didn't think-" Her voice is wobbly.

I grip her arms, trying to calm myself, as well as her. "What did you do mom?"

"We-we signed a contract. He said that if we would give you over to his son for a wife, he'd get your father a good job. We signed it without even reading. We thought he'd forgotten about it, but then he sent the contract to us, telling us that he wanted to meet you now."

I get up, angry. "You didn't even read it?!"

"We were desperate! We really regret it now. I'm so sorry."

I breathe out,and walk over to the door. "Well it's a little too late to be sorry now isn't it? I'm going to bed."

I go upstairs, and lay under my covers, not bothering to brush my teeth, or change.

Arranged marriage,,,

I'm supposed to be part of an arranged marriage, and I don't even know who i'm marrying.