Hanru Sazuki

(The road is pitch black. The blue shining light from the radio is all that can be seen inside the car. Outside the car, nothing can be seen. Only a few inches of road ahead as the headlight shine bright. A smile of enthusiasm is slapped across Teegan’s face as her father lets her drive for the first time and he sits in the passenger seat.)

Teegan: (Chuckles) I feel so powerful, moving such machinery at… (Looks at dashboard) 40 miles per hour.

Kenneth: Now you understand it from a guy’s point of view. (Smiles) Be sure not to go too fast; you could hardly see anything out here and if we hit an animal or hit a turn, we’re on our own out here when it comes to fixing up the car.

Teegan: Don’t worry, dad; I promise to always drive safe for you, because I know how much you care for my safety. (Smiles at her father)

Kenneth: (Smiles back) Don’t take your eyes of the road sweetheart.

Teegan: Oh sorry. Ouch…. (Holds head in pain and closes eyes)

Kenneth: Teegan? You still having those headaches?

Teegan: Yeah, dad, I’m fine.

Kenneth: Teegan, what are you doing? You’re not driving straight you’re driving near the side of the road!

Teegan: But, dad, you’re the one who’s driving.

(The car bashes into something and flips out of control; into the pitch black desert and lands upside down.)

(Hours later, 7:25AM)

(Velma, Hanru and Judy are driving down the same street. Judy is in the back sleeping and Hanru is in the passenger seat.)

Velma: Kid… I’ve been wondering something about you. What makes you so friendly with serial killers; what makes killers so friendly with you? I mean what is it about you that makes a person not wanna kill you?

Hanru: (Sighs) I’ve been trying to figure out the answer to that for a while now. I can’t seem to pinpoint the answer though. You know… 4 years ago, there was this lady who was very grouchy and mean. She was mean-spirited and constantly screamed and yelled at the doctors who were treating her. Even her family got yelled at. I talked to her one day and she completely changed the way she talked to people. Umm… she became nicer and enjoyed the little bit of happiness she had left with her family. In her last moments, she requested for me to stay with her and talk. She asked me to look after her granddaughter because I was the only one who she trusted to do it. She then told me the real identity of her granddaughter’s real mother. After she told me all she had to, I couldn’t handle being there anymore so I left, and she spent time alone with her family when she died. I don’t know what it is about me that alters the mind of another individual.

Velma: Of course people need to have an open mind to really get you and get the message you try saying to them. If you ever went to the average person and told them the truth about themselves and told them what they had to do to improve their lives, they would totally just disregard you and get angry and blow you off and just say that you were insulting them.

Hanru: Yeah, that’s human nature. I mean even I sometimes get bothered by that.

Velma: Sometimes it takes an outside force to reveal your wrongs to yourself. Am I even making any sense?

Hanru: Yeah, yeah, I get it. It’s like love right?

Velma: Right, or like a relationship. Two people can get together and everything seems fine and good, but the people around you can see all the bad things of the relationship, but do you care about those bad things when your friends and family warn you about them; of course not. You feel that like those outsiders don’t understand your relationship because they are not a part of it and then you disregard what they have to say. Or there are people who could say they want to try a new drug like… shoot. I don’t know… cocaine or meth. And it’s like all your friends and your parents tell you the dangers and you just tell yourself “oh I’ll just try it once; I won’t get addicted.” After one sample, you get hooked and ruin yourself and all those close to you. But of course, you don’t care. And even if you do care, the drugs possess you and slowly kill away what moral sense of life you have left. Then your family tells you about how they warned you not to take it in the first place but you don’t listen to them because you can’t listen. Your mind closes and outside forces no longer have any effect on your mind; all that matters is what goes on inside that closed mind of yours.

Hanru: Yeah… lots of people have closed minds and are unable to comprehend outside forces.

Velma: It’s rare finding a person with an open mind. (Sniffs) I guess for those who do have an open mind, they’re lucky.

Hanru: Of course. But there are also many bad things that come with having an open mind.

Velma: Hey, it looks like there was an accident here up ahead. There’s a car off the side of the road that looks demolished and there’s a flipped over car in the field like 20 feet away from the first car.

Hanru: I doubt anyone was able to call for help after an accident this bad.

Velma: Maybe I should pull over then.

(Velma pulls over. Hanru gets out of the car and looks around at the surroundings.)

Hanru: (Thinking) No skid marks on the road, so no one hit on brakes when the accident happened. By how far the second car flew before it flipped over suggest that the car must have been going a pretty fast speed, or maybe even an average speed with no hesitation of braking. The first car was caught off guard, that’s obvious, so that means it wasn’t moving when it was impacted from behind.

(Hanru walks over to the first car and opens the driver side door. A blonde woman with her bloodied head pressed against the steering wheel can be seen unconscious. In the back seat Hanru sees something that disturbs him, so he quickly stops looking and walks toward the flipped over car. He gets to his knees to see who it is.)

Hanru: K-Kenneth?!

(Hospital several hours later)

(Hanru, Velma, and Judy are all sitting in the emergency room. Hanru is the only one nervous.)

Velma: Quit being so nervous.

Hanru: What if she dies?

Velma: Well then she dies.

Hanru: I know you may not care much for human life, but I do. That is my friend in there.

Velma: Whatever. I don’t really care. Look, I’m going out to get something to eat; Judy doesn’t need to be around this environment. I’ll be back later in about an hour.

Hanru: Yeah, alright. Bring back something for Kenneth if you have the money; he’s not handling the situation very well.

(Bathroom)

(Kenneth looks himself in the mirror and washes his face with cold water. He can’t help but to feel somewhat empty.)

(Waiting room)

(Hanru is sitting in the quiet waiting roaming through his phone. He then dials a number and looks around to make sure no one’s around him.)

Carry: Hello?

Hanru: Hey, it’s me… (Sighs) I know you told me only to call if there was an emergency and there is an emergency… Umm… Teegan and your husband were both in a really bad car accident. Umm… well Teegan isn’t doing so good; the side of her head was bleeding pretty bad. Kenneth is alright, he only hit his head and was knocked unconscious and his wrist is pretty messed up but he won’t tell the doctors that cause he’d rather have them focusing on his daughter and not him. The people that they hit were a woman and her baby. The um… (Closes eyes and pauses for a few seconds) The baby was in the back seat and the mother was in the driver seat when the car was hit from behind so… so the baby took a very fatal hit. When I looked at it, it… was… It wasn’t the same as seeing an adult uh… not having life.

(5 seconds of silence.)

Hanru: Hello?

Carry: (Snaps out of her daze) Yeah, yeah, I’m- sorry. What hospital are you in?

(Hours pass. Shaun is driving Carry on the deserted road.)

Shaun: Looks like we’ll all be reunited one last time, huh?

Carry: Shaun… My daughter is not going to die.

Shaun: I know that. I’m sure she will pull through just fine.

Carry: You don’t believe that. Admit it; you think she’s going to die!

Shaun: Anything is possible, but whether she lives or dies doesn’t really matter. What matters is that you make things right with your family.

Carry: They are not my family anymore, okay? I left my old life a long time ago.

Shaun: Then why are you rushing to see Teegan?

Carry: She is my child, Shaun.

Shaun: She hasn’t been the past few years. You abandoned her and never once had the thought of turning back. You never even sent her a card, did you?

Carry: NO I DIDN’T! And it’s none of your business anyway, so just shut up and… just drive me there already!

Shaun: What are you gonna do when you get there?

Carry: Make sure my daughter’s alright and if so; I’m leaving with you to wherever it is we’re going.

Shaun: If that’s what you feel is best.

Carry: No more talking just get me there.

Shaun: You see those two cars on the side of the road? That must be the accident.

(The wind blows in Carry’s face as she crosses her arms and stands over the flipped over car in the middle of the field. Flashes of the accident penetrate her mind as she helplessly reenacts the accident in her head.)

Carry: My daughter must have been in so much pain. I can just imagine her screaming out in pain while being tossed around inside that car like a hacky sack.

(Shaun is at the other car staring at the woman’s body. He hears her moaning a bit. She is weak and out of it. She can’t even move or open her eyes.)

Woman: Mmmm-mmm-my baby…

Shaun: Hey, your baby’s fine. It’s a miracle, but when we pulled over, she was crying so she’s in my car right now drinking a bottle I found in the baby bag in your back seat…

Woman: Oh…

Shaun: Hey, hey! (Snaps fingers and shakes her) Stay with me. You can’t fall asleep, ok? Just try and keep your eyes open. Can you do that for me?

(The woman opens her eyes and instantly becomes dizzy. She then falls out of the car toward the ground, but Shaun safely catches her.)

Shaun: Alright. Ok, ok; you’re ok. Let’s get you to the hospital. There’s no cell reception out here.

(Hospital, 2:28AM)

(Everyone is together again. Hanru, Shaun, Kenneth, and Carry. The waiting room is quiet.)

Kenneth: You never told me how you knew Teegan and I were here.

Carry: The kid called me. I gave him my number for just in case any emergencies happened with you or Teegan.

Kenneth: So after all these years, you still claim to care for us?

Carry: I guess I’m guilty on that one.

Kenneth: You should have never come back. We don’t need you in our lives anymore.

Carry: And what more harm could I possibly do to her that’s worse than what you’ve done?!

Kenneth: What I’ve done…?

Carry: You let an inexperienced Teenager drive down a dark road for her first driving experience. What kind of irresponsible parent does that?!

Kenneth: You don’t dare call me irresponsible, okay, at least I’ve been there with her the past few years. You just up and left and shattered both our lives.

Carry: You are a grown man, Kenneth. You could have raised her just fine on your own, but you chose to obsess over my death and you were the reason for shattering hers and your own lives! Do not blame anything on me.

Kenneth: (Nods head) Yeah… yeah, you know what it was my fault. I am an adult and I chose to make life difficult for her and trash my career. I should’ve been stronger. I realize now you were the strong one in our family and I was the weak one. Now I need to be strong for her and finish raising her the correct way. So you need to walk out that door right now and never return.

(A cute Caucasian female with a dirty blonde ponytail and glasses walks up to the four of them.)

Tia: The doctors were able to stabilize your daughter temporarily. She’s been having multiple seizures all day and internal bleeding in her head. She has a major skull fracture on I believe the right side. We took x-rays and the amount of damage and scaring around her head leads us to believe her head has been bleeding out previous to the events of the recent traumatic accident. She is unaware of her surroundings. She’s having a hard time moving her hands. She claims to not be able to feel her legs at all. Her memory is fairly poor, and multiple blood vessels have burst in her right eye.

Kenneth: All of that from an accident?! When most people get into car crashes-

Tia: They usually die. Now, Mr. Powell, I have so many patients come in here and tell me about how action movies make car accidents seem like nothing, but in reality, car accidents are very horrific and they cause horrible deaths. I once had a patient not wearing their seatbelt and when his driver slammed into a pole, he flew out of the car at the same moment the truck he was in flipped over, so while he was still in mid-air, the back of the truck bashed into his back and completely shattered his spine and punctured a hole in his stomach. Once he hit the ground, he was in unbelievable pain. He survived for a good while until he finally got to the hospital. He bleed out too much and he did die within half an hour. Sir, I know it’s hard to believe that all these things are wrong with your daughter, but in my personal experience, it’s good to appreciate what blessings you have. Be happy your daughter isn’t dead. I’ve lost a child before, and trust me, I’d rather be taking care of my handicapped kid, than not being able to take care of my dead child…

Hanru: Are you… okay?

Tia: (Sniffs and clears throat.) Unfortunately your daughter is fighting consciousness right now, if she does slip out of consciousness, she could fall into a coma. In my personal opinion, I’d say immediate family speaks with her first.

Carry: If she does fall into a coma, how long will she be out?

(Tia takes her glasses off and remains silent for a few seconds before finding the courage within herself to tell them the tragic news.)

Tia: There are… no guarantees your daughter will slip into a coma once she loses consciousness. She could… She-she could die. I’m really sorry to say it but your daughter could die.

(Kenneth just stands up and walks away without saying a word. He storms off outside. Shaun stands up and goes after him. They both get outside and almost get the walkway in the middle of the street which leads to the parking lot. Shaun grabs Kenneth’s shoulder, turns him around and pops him a good one to the face. Kenneth falls to the ground.)

Shaun: You think now is the best time for this?!

Kenneth: YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I AM FEELING RIGHT NOW!

(Shaun grabs Kenneth by the collar and slams him up against a tree with full force.)

Shaun: You know what; you’re right. I don’t know what you’re going through, but your pathetic little feelings are meaningless compared to what your daughter is going through right now!

Kenneth: Let me go right now, or I’ll kill you. Do not test me; I will kill you.

Shaun (Head-butts Kenneth in the face three times) Quit always blaming your problems on other people! Take responsibility! You messed up your daughter’s life so much. She risked everything for you, even her own life, and I honestly think she was a fool for doing it because you are not worth it! But she loves her father, and she would do anything just to, in return, receive that same love she gives to you! She wants you to acknowledge her as your child! You can’t even give her some loving attention, what kind of father is that?!

(Shaun shoves Kenneth against the wall again and releases his collar.)

Kenneth: (Tears fall from his face) it was my fault. It was all my fault. I became so obsessed with trying to kill you, I remember awhile back hitting her I the head with the gun I was going to use to kill you with.

Shaun: When you hit here, you accidentally cracked her skull, didn’t you?

Kenneth: I think I did, yeah.

(Shaun turns his back covers his face and takes a deep breath.)

Kenneth: If she dies, I can’t ever forgive myself.

Shaun: (Turns around and faces Shaun) It’s not about what you want, now is it? Whether you forgive yourself or not is something you’ll have to deal with in the future, but right now you need to focus on whether or not Teegan will forgive you if she dies from your mistake. All she ever wanted was your love and attention, so go give her that right now before you lose your chance. Remember what that doctor said. That man was in a truck driving as a passenger and the driver caused the accident and he paid for it. He lost his life over someone else’s mess up, and he died in pain, sad, alone, and without his family by his side. It’s amazing how your life could just be so normal and it could all end in less than 30 minutes; not even giving you enough time to talk to your family or even make peace with those you hate. You have time to make things right for your daughter before she passes; if she passes. Take the opportunity and give her a peaceful death.

(Teegan’s hospital room.)

(Kenneth and Carry slowly walk in and stare at Teegan as she sits in her bed holding and poking at a tiny pack of crackers. She puts all her focus on the crackers. Carry closes the door behind him and both he and Teegan walk around to the right side of the bed. Teegan continues to focus on the crackers.)

Kenneth: S-sweetie? Teegan?

(Teegan doesn’t seem to realize the two of them are there.)

Kenneth: Ho-honey. (Takes pack of crackers away)

(Teegan looks up at her father and smiles.)

Teegan: Hi…!
Kenneth: (Smiles and chuckles) Hi… Do- do you remember me?

Teegan: No. But I remember I like you. (Giggles)

Kenneth: (Chuckles) I remember… I like you too…

(Kenneth smiles and takes a deep breath as he opens the crackers and hands them back to Teegan.)

Teegan: (Laughs) I remember you now. I know why I like you! You always helpted me when I needed help at the most times. Are you my mommy?

Kenneth: (Chuckles as a tear falls from his eyes) No, I’m not you’re mommy.

Teegan: (Sad) Oh… (Happy) Are you my daddy?

Kenneth: Yes, I am.

Teegan: (Claps joyfully) YAY!

Kenneth: Careful, you dropped your crackers on the floor.

(Kenneth bends down to grab the crackers, but suddenly he feels something strange passing through his body. As he bends down, he freezes for a few seconds. He takes a deep breath, grabs the crackers, and then stands back up.)

Kenneth: Hear you-

(Teegan is laying down with her eyes closed and her head tilted on the pillow.)

Kenneth: Teegan?!

(Teegan opens her eyes and smiles.)

Teegan: Yes? (Gasps) My crackers! You’ve saved them for me! Thank you, daddy. Give me hugs. (Spreads her arms out wide)

(Kenneth leans in and hugs his daughter.)

Kenneth: Anything for you, kiddo. I’d do anything to make you feel happy.

(Both stop hugging but their faces remain close. They make eye contact for 7 seconds then Teegan wipes Kenneth’s face.)

Teegan: Then stop crying.

Kenneth: Teegan, I did this to you. I was the one who hurt you and put you in here. I am really sorry.

Teegan: Don’t cry because of that, daddy. I know you would never hurt me on purpose. (Shakes her head aggressively) Whatever it is you did, I don’t care, I still love you because you’re my daddy.

(Kenneth holds her head still to stop her from shaking.)

Kenneth: (Cracks a smile) Calm down, okay. You’re gonna hurt yourself even more.

Teegan: Daddy, am I gonna die?

Kenneth: No, baby, no you’re not gonna die.

Teegan: Daddy…

Kenneth: Yes, babygirl?

Teegan: Daddy… If I die… I will be happy. Because you are here with me. (Tightly holds Kenneth’s hand and displays a big smile) Best buddies forever!

Kenneth: Best…

(Kenneth bursts out crying and embraces Teegan; showering her with all the love he can possibly give. Teegan pushes him a little bit and he stops hugging.)

Kenneth: I’m sorry; was I squeezing too tight?

Teegan: (Mad) NO! No more crying! I don’t like my daddy sad! (Hugs Kenneth tightly)

(Teegan closes her eyes for a few seconds, and then opens them back up. Her voice turns back to normal suddenly in her next sentence.)

Teegan: Please, don’t be sad, dad. I want my last memories to be good ones.

(They both stop hugging and Kenneth looks at Teegan’s face.)

Teegan: I’m scared, daddy.

Kenneth: Scared of what? What are you scared of?

Teegan: When I die. Where will I go? I don’t wanna be alone. I wanna stay here with you and eat cookies and stay up late.

Kenneth: You’ll still be able to do that, sweetheart… With your friends in a magical place.

Teegan: All the magic in the world is stupid and has no meaning if you’re not there with me.

Kenneth: But you’ll be with better people. You’ll be with lots and lots of friends. Friends who will never hurt you or lie to you or cause drama.

Teegan: I don’t know what a friend is, daddy.

Kenneth: (Thinks for a few seconds) … That’s right; when you were being raised, you never did have any friends; you only saw me as the only friend you really needed or had to trust.

Teegan: Daddy, will you come with me to this magical place?

Kenneth: (Grasps her hand and holds it) I wish I could, sweetie. I really wish I could, but I’m not a good little girl like you, so I can’t go with you.

Teegan: But you are a good daddy.

Kenneth: No I’m not, Teegan.

Teegan: You never hit me, daddy.

Kenneth: No, of course not.

Teegan: You never fed me bad things.

Kenneth: You mean like drugs? No I never fed you drugs.

Teegan: You never touched my private parts and let other people touch them for monies.

Kenneth: No, I didn’t.

Teegan: But if you still did those things, I would forgive you, because you are my daddy and I love you. I want to love my daddy, so I will do anything to make you proud of me and be happy to have me as your little girl.

Kenneth: (Failing to hold back tears) Teegan, I don’t deserve your love. I don’t deserve you as a daughter.

Teegan: You were there for me times I really needed you. As long as daddies are there when you really need them, that’s all that’s important. You won’t always be there when I want you to, but when I really need you, you will be, like right now.

Kenneth: After everything I’ve done to you, after all the times I’ve hurt you, you’re still here for me. You forgive me and keep on loving me.

Teegan: There are much worse fathers out there. I am grateful to have you as my father because you could have been a lot worser and you’re not, and you love me back, unlike other mean dads.

Kenneth: (Kisses her hand) Teegan, I’m so proud of you. You’re so smart. You grew into such an intelligent young women. You’re loving and you accept people for their problems.

Teegan: I was mean to that boy. That boy with the black hair. Who is he?

Kenneth: You mean Hanru?

Teegan: Can I speak to him, please?

Kenneth: Yeah, sure; let me go get him.

Teegan: When you come back tell me about this magical place, daddy.

Kenneth: I promise, but only as long as you promise to be here when I come back.

Teegan: (Smiles) Don’t worry, I won’t die yet. (Giggles) I still haven’t eaten my last cookie yet.

(Minutes later, Shaun is in the refreshment room stirring a cup of broth. Velma walks up to him.)

Velma: Hey, so how’s the kid doing?

Shaun: Which one?

Velma: Oh right Well… both of them I guess.

Shaun: Well the baby isn’t in intensive care; that’s a good thing. The baby is perfectly fine. It was strapped down pretty tight in its belt so it didn’t get hurt when the accident happened.

Velma: Okay, and the other one?

Shaun: Don’t you wanna know what happened to the mother?

Velma: No! I don’t wanna know what happened to the mother! Why should I care what happened to the mother?!

Shaun: Shhh! Okay, don’t yell. Alright look, Teegan’s having some difficulties. A lot of difficulties actually. She is alive but I’m honestly having doubts that she’ll pull through.

Velma: Is she in pain?

Shaun: Why do you care?

Velma: I could give you the straight truth, or I could sugar coat it with a nice sweet icing covered lie. Which do you prefer?

Shaun: I prefer the one where you sound less annoying when you talk.

Velma: Alright I’ll just come out and tell you the truth then, since you wanna be so judgmental. I wanted to know whether she was in pain or not so just in case if she was, I could just put her out of her misery.

Shaun: yeah with a little untraceable poison, right? That’s how you and your sisters work.

Velma: Whatever, she’s not sick, so I’ve lost all interest in her. Before I go, tell me about the mother, then I’m going back down to the car to take me a nap and listen to some jazz.

Shaun: A serial killer who listens to Jazz.

Velma: (Smiles) What can I say; it brings out my human side.

(Shaun chuckles and continues stirring his cup. Kenneth walks up to him.)

Kenneth: Where’s Hanru, have you seen him around?

Shaun: He went for a walk around the hospital.

Kenneth: That’s right; he usually takes walks when he has a lot on his mind. Alright, well when he comes back and if I miss him, you tell him Teegan needs to see him.

Shaun: Sure thing.

(Kenneth looks nervously down at the ground and clears his throat.)

Shaun: Is there something else I can help you out with?

(Kenneth slowly moves closer to Shaun.)

Kenneth: Um… My daughter was asking me some questions about what’s on the other side. I told her about a magical place, but I doubt she’ll buy that. Now, before you start talking, I don’t want any of this religious blah stuff about the afterlife.

Shaun: Well then you obviously don’t want my advice.

Kenneth: Alright. Alright, fine. I’ll listen to you, but don’t go overboard with the religious stuff, okay? I’m serious!

Shaun: Alright, alright. I’m not gonna tell you how you need to always be religious cause it’s the right thing to do and all that. I’m gonna speak from the average person’s point of view.

Kenneth: I don’t need to hear all that. I just need to know some things about heaven and what’s on the other side.

Shaun: (Shrugs) I mean what is there to say? It uh… it’s a place of joy and happiness. It’s a place where there are no problems, no sicknesses, and no pain. All things in this world that we had will be gone and all of our memories will fade away.

Kenneth: What? Wait, no, are you serious?! So you mean for people who die and go to heaven, they have no memory of what they did here on Earth? They won’t remember all of the experiences they had and all the bonds they shared and love they felt?! How can it be heaven if you can’t remember the things that were heaven to you here in life?!

Shaun: I don’t make the rules.

Kenneth: Yeah, well I’m sorry, but that’s one rule I refuse to believe in! If my daughter makes it into heaven, she won’t even remember me; and if I by some miracle make it into heaven as well, she and I won’t even recognize each other?! I call BS on that! Thanks for trying, Shaun, I really appreciate it, but I think I’ve heard enough.

Shaun: Right. Sorry.

Kenneth: It’s ok. You’ve done a lot for me. I know my daughter would want me to do this, so here it goes. I forgive you, Shaun. I know I’ve said it before, but now I really mean it. Forgiveness comes from deep within the heart; and so I forgive you. I forgive you for holding a grudge against you for all the wrong you have committed in your past. I forgive you for being lost and killing over 80 people.

Shaun: Thank you, Kenneth. (Extends arm out for a handshake)

(Kenneth shakes Shaun’s hand and then gives him a one arm hug. Shaun does the same thing back.)

(Outside the hospital)

(Hanru walks up to the front and sees Carry smoking a cigarette out in the cold. He walks up to her. Carry is shivering and shaking.)

Hanru: What are you doing out here?

Carry: (Exhales smoke) Freezing my clit off out here; what do you think?

Hanru: No need to get sassy with me.

Carry: Uh, Teegan requested you.

Hanru: Oh, so you talked to her?

Carry: No. I just sat in the room like a huge elephant watching as my daughter talked about how great her father was. There was never even a mention about me. I doubt she even knew I was in the room. (Inhales the cigarette)

Hanru: What is your problem with your daughter? What do you have against her?

Carry: She ruined my life. She’s great and all but she was too needy. She always needed me for things and I gave them to her, but no matter how hard I tried, she loved her father even more. I tried my best with her, but then her father started acting like a jerk and drinking and getting abusive with me and cheating on me with my sister. I’ve always been independent and lived my own life on the wild side, but then I caught myself living trapped with a family. I had to get out and embrace who I was, so I had an opportunity and I took it. Faking my death was the only way out.

Hanru: So you’ve been struggling to break the bond that shackles you two together.

Carry: That’s right. But I can’t find myself to do it. For years I’ve been constantly fighting this love I had for my daughter because I knew that if I didn’t destroy it, it would lead me right back to the life I ran from.

Hanru: Your family needs you now, Carry. Your daughter may not be here too much longer.

Carry: I know that, but what am I supposed to say?

Hanru: humor her. Make her laugh; share some memories maybe.

Carry yeah, maybe… (Takes another cigarette out of the pack)

Hanru: (Takes pack away) Love is scary, but love is about taking risks and having faith and not worrying about the future but cherishing the present. Love will always hurt you no matter how hard you try and mask yourself from it, but you need to be strong enough to endure whatever pain love throws at you. (Gives the pack back) You do the right thing here. I’m going to talk to her right now; and by the time I’m finished, I expect you to be by the room door like if you were in an elementary school lunch line.

Carry: Have a good talk. (Lights another cigarette)

(Hanru walks into the room and closes the door behind him. The nurse almost bumps into him on his way out.)

Hanru: Sorry, excuse me.

Nurse: (Smiles) Excuse me. (Leaves the room and closes the door)

(Hanru slowly walks up to the right side of the bed.)

Teegan: (Pokes her lips out) Henruuuu! (Give me hug! (Opens her arms)

(Hanru leans in and the two of them hug for a few seconds.)

Hanru: Um… how are you feeling?

Teegan: (Stares down at her blanket for a few seconds then looks back at Hanru) I’m sorry for saying mean stuff to you. You are weird and different and I was mean to you because I didn’t understand your brain.

Hanru: It’s alright. I’m not too upset over it; I’ll get over it.

Teegan: Just because you were a weird crazy boy, I tried to stop liking you; but it doesn’t matter how weird someone is or how much of a freak they are or how different they are compared to you, and no matter how much you don’t understand other people. All that matters is how they treat you and other people, and what kind things they are capable of. You show me your evil side grrr, and I know what you capable of doing. You have always had this scary secret with you and when I didn’t know you had that secret, you showed love and compassion. While we drive you- (Teegan squeals out in pain for a second and holds her head)

Hanru: (Thinking) Her heart rate is increasing! (Says to Teegan while worried) Teegan, you alright?!

Teegan: (Temporarily speaks normal) While we drove you… You played games with me to help keep me distracted from all my problems. Hanru you’re like a big brother to me. I’ve always wanted a big brother. (Opens her eyes and looks at her blanket) I’ve always wanted a big brother.

Hanru: Well you were like a sister to me too, Teegan.

Teegan: I know you have a hard time expressing human emotions, but you always know when to express love. You can express much, much love and I wanna give some of that love back to you.

Hanru: I don’t want you feeling like you have to.

Teegan: But, I want to. People aren’t always normal in life. The people we love, most of them have dark secrets they’re afraid to reveal because they don’t want to feel rejected or judged by those they love most. If you truly care and love someone, you will accept them for their flaws. If they have a dark secret, it’s not gonna be easy to accept the idea that they’ve kept such a thing hidden from you. But they were scared, and they needed you to accept them for who they truly are. Despite you being a psycho deep down inside, you showed me and other people love and compassion and forgiveness, and it was all real. Despite how messed up a person or a situation is, good things can come happen to you if you let ‘em. One night stands have sex in a restroom the first night they met; a beautiful baby comes out of it, and possible grows up to save her mother from living a dangerous life that would one day kill her before her time. A girl hires a guy to date her friend. The guy and the friend grow close and fall in love, but then she finds out the truth and gets angry at the girl and the guy. They met in a messed up way, but in the end, something very good and beautiful happened between the guy and the friend. I’m not saying it’s not okay to be upset, but if you are upset, think about what’s really important. Think about what good came from the situation that subliminally oriented from something bad. Make the best out of a bad situation. Would you rather be happy or just dwell in your pain?

Hanru: Most women can’t think straight when they are emotionally hurt thought. They can’t even think of happiness.

Teegan: A strong woman learns when the right moment to cry is and she knows when the right moment to be tough is. Any women can be strong, finding the courage within herself are where the problems come in.

Hanru: I’m really glad you’re strong. (Grabs her hand)

Teegan: You know most tough or strong women act like… B-words, but you know, from a woman’s point of view, we understand why most women act that way. Usually a mean girl is a strong girl. A nice girl is usually the more vulnerable one. Then you have girls who try and juggle both by being nice and sweet, but then showing their mean side when they feel they have to or they feel threatened. But I’ve learned to remain a sweet girl who learns to take control and live life the way I chose to. If another girl has an attitude towards me, I don’t have an attitude back that only proves how desperate I am to be like them. It’s the same principle as models in magazines. I don’t care about looking pretty like those fake girls. Trying to look beautiful like some model to me shows you aren’t taking control of your life; you’re just chasing after some fantasy body image so you could look good. Who are you trying to look good for, you know? I mean it doesn’t make any sense. That’s why I’ve decided to accept my natural body for what it is and I change it for no one. If a man really cares about me, my body image wouldn’t be important to him; my display of affection would.

Hanru: It sounds like you and I would’ve made a perfect couple.

Teegan: yeah, we would have, but sometimes perfect doesn’t belong with perfect. Love is about two people completing one another and learning from one another to both change and become perfectly compatible for one another, you know? Love-

Hanru: Wait. Teegan, let’s not get into love right now; it’s out of place.

Teegan: That’s right, love is the next chapter of your life, right; or should I say next volume?

Hanru: (Cracks a smile and chuckles) You’re funny, Teegan.

Teegan: (Sighs) She’s coming to collect.

Hanru: What?

(The same nurse walks back into the room and closes the door. She kindly stares at Teegan.)

Teegan: I’m not ready yet. Just five more minutes.

(The nurse, Tia, walks out the door.)

Teegan: Hanru, I’m sorry for not excepting you, just because you have bad in you doesn’t mean it outweighs the good and it doesn’t mean that the kindness you’ve shown me wasn’t real. I’m sorry. Do you forgive me, big brother?

Hanru: I forgive you, sister.

(Both hug one last time for 10 seconds which feel much, much longer than it actually was.)

Hanru: Do you want me to go get-

Teegan: (Puts her finger on Hanru’s lips) Shhh… No, no. Get Shaun for me.

(Outside of the hospital)

(Kenneth walks outside and sees Carrie continuing to smoke cigarettes. She only has four left in her new pack she just opened. She continues to shake and shiver outside as she holds herself. Kenneth wraps his coat around her body.)

Carrie: I don’t need your coat; I… I love the cold.

Kenneth: You’re freezing and can barely talk. Are you standing out in this freezing weather hoping to become cold-hearted so you wouldn’t have to deal with the ache of your daughter’s death?

Carrie: (Chuckles a bit) You always would try and read me those corny poetry lines of yours to try and make me feel better.

Kenneth: Carrie, go see your daughter.

Carrie: I can’t.

Kenneth: Carrie, I know you feel like you not making peace with your daughter will somehow give her a reason to keep living, but that’s not the case. Carry, she is going to die, no matter what you do, no matter how desperate you become. You can’t stay in denial right now. You’ve always been strong your entire life. Now you need to be strong one last time and face your daughter. Most mothers- most people, don’t get opportunities to say goodbye to their loved ones. Take advantage of this blessing you have and face your child one last time before she passes.

(Hospital room)

(Hanru and Shaun stand over Teegan.)

Teegan: I forgive you for everything, Shaun. Thank you for being a role model for my father and for showing him tough brotherly love which helped him become a better person. I need you to please help my father cope and stay alive after I am dead. He needs a strong hand to help guide him down his next journey in life.

Shaun: I’m not sure I can do that.

Teegan: You can. You will learn from my father and he will learn from you. I think… I think this is what God has planned for you. (Smiles)

Shaun: Maybe…

Teegan: Hanru, I’ve been meaning to ask you; what kind of name is Hanru anyway?

Hanru: Well it turns out Hanru isn’t actually my real name. It’s a name my parents put on the birth certificate, but it isn’t what they named me.

Teegan: Are you serious?

Hanru: I am.

Teegan: You’re gonna have to tell me your real name on the other side when you get there. (Smiles) It’ll give me something to look forward to.

Hanru: Alright, deal.

(Outside the hospital)

Carrie: You said, I’m blessed to have this time with her. Since when did you start believing in all this spiritual stuff?

Kenneth: (Smiles and chuckles a bit) You know… It’s funny actually. Maybe I’ll tell you about it later; for now, I’m going back inside to talk to Teegan again. She’s waiting for me to get back.

Carrie: (Looks in the box and sees one last cigarette in confusion) I could’ve sworn I had like four left.

Kenneth: Time is getting short. You never know how much you have left. (Cracks a smile and walks back inside)

Carrie: Him and his stupid poetry astrology!

(Kenneth walks into the room and stands over Teegan. Shaun and Hanru go to the other sides of the bed.)

Kenneth: Whether or not, heaven or hell is real, whether or not even religion or god is real, sometimes you need to have something to have faith in. Because, Teegan, we can’t go with you when you go to heaven. We can’t ever see you, or hold you or even touch you, or- or hear your sweet light-filled laughter. Your mother and I can’t take care of you once you pass; only God can. And even if I never believed in God, I have to believe in him now, I have to, because he is the only one who can take care of you once you pass. Whether it’s all real or not, I don’t care. I choose to have faith in a God if it means assurance that my daughter will be taken care of in heaven. You taught me that I could believe in whatever I choose in life. I choose to believe in God and I choose to believe in Heaven. All my faith goes into you making it into Heaven and feeling unbelievable happiness for eternity. I’m not a saint and for all the wrong I’ve done in this life, I may burn for eternity, but I’d rather burn for all eternity alone and with the secure thoughts of you living in eternal peace and not remember your pain, than to be by your side enduring eternal burning.

Teegan: I would rather have both of us living together in Heaven forever; not remembering anything from life.

Kenneth: I don’t think I can make it into Heaven, baby.

Teegan: Shaun will help you get there.

(Carrie walks into the room and closes the door behind her. Kenneth moves to the side of the bed and Shaun moves to the foot of the bed. Carrie stands on the right side of the bed. The shadow of her body shines over the light above Teegan for a few seconds. Her face comes in clear.)

Teegan: Mom?!

Carrie: (Smiles and laughs) Oh your father is going to be so mad at me, but I just wanted to come see you one last time.

Teegan: It’s okay, mom; I understand. (Smiles)

(Tia walks into the room and rests her back against the door as she closes it.)

Teegan: Mom, I was never upset by you leaving. I know what you were going through and I expected you to one day leave to embrace your freedom. I always had a feeling you weren’t dead and that you would come back to me when the time was right. I forgive you for leaving. After you left I always kept you alive inside of me by living by your morals as a strong woman. I learned from you and the sacrifices you made and when you disappeared I realized how fearless you were seizing what you truly wanted in life and it inspired me to never be afraid to make sacrifices to find my true passion in life and find what truly makes me whole as a woman. I looked at you leaving as a positive influence in my life. Ironically, you leaving is what made you a good mother to me, but if I didn’t seek positive reasoning, I would’ve been forever damaged by the abandonment of my mother. I then wouldn’t have been strong enough to take care of dad when he was at his weakest moment. Who knows what my life would’ve turned out like? I would’ve probably been a crack whore living with some guy who treated me like dirt and abused me all the time and used me for sex. I wouldn’t care. I would just be happy doing lines with him in the back of his trailer before I rode him like a cowgirl. (Chuckles) It’s amazing how one moment can completely alter the outcome of your life depending on how you take in a situation.

Tia: Teegan, it’s time to go now.

(Teegan looks at everyone around her bed staring down at her.)

Teegan: I am truly lucky to have all those who are important, surrounding me in my last moments. Thank you all. Thank you, Mother Carrie, Father, Kenneth, Brother, Hanru, and Uncle Shaun…

(Never in her life has she smiled as big as she did now; seeing her family starring down at her; watching over her as she passes. Her eyes roll into the back of her head and her entire body stiffens as her head falls back and leans over. Silence strikes the room. A deep feeling of unbelief throws Kenneth into anxiety. Mentally trapped within these feelings, Kenneth backs away as he drops down to the floor in faint. Kenneth wakes up minutes later in the emergency room. Shaun and Hanru sit next to him.)

Kenneth: (Sits up comfortably) Is Teegan okay?

Hanru: Teegan passed… You fainted after it happened and Carrie ran outside and… Well she… killed herself…

Kenneth: What?

Hanru: She ran outside and stabbed herself in the stomach with a knife and she bleed out. How she got ahold of the knife I don’t know.

Kenneth: Carrie…?

Hanru: I don’t know what to say…

Kenneth: Just… (Stands up and walks away) Don’t say anything.

(Hanru and Shaun sit alone.)

Hanru: You and I both know what really happened, Shaun…

(Carrie runs out of the hospital crying and Shaun chases after her. The two of them stop on the sidewalk by the street.)

Carrie: WHY DO YOU KEEP FOLLOWING ME?!

Shaun: Your daughter just died, Carrie! Don’t run off on her again; stay here with Kenneth and mourn your child together!

Carrie: (Charges up to Shaun’s face) You don’t know what it’s like losing a child. I stayed away from my daughter because I was too afraid to get close to her. I didn’t want to constantly worry about her and how her future would turn out! I got tired of constantly worrying about whether I’m raising my child right or not! Now she just passed out; I don’t even know what’s going on with her!

Shaun: She passed on and you know it. You need to accept she’s gone! You messed up! Instead of being too afraid to love, you neglected the opportunity to form a strong bond of love. You regret not spending enough time with her. If you distance those you love, you’ll only find yourself alone and regretting the fact that you could’ve spent more time with them in the end! You regret not spending enough time with her and abandoning her.

Carrie: (Cries for a few seconds and pauses a while) I messed up… But you don’t understand how this feels. This hurts so much. I don’t ever want to leave her side again. I need to stay with my daughter forever. Please, Shaun; finish what you started; kill me…

Shaun: Kill you? NO!

Carrie: I do not believe in suicide, but I will do it if I have to now please help me!

(Waiting room)

Shaun: She begged me to do it. Her wishes were to leave this world alongside her own daughter, so that she could lookout for her and never abandon her again. No one saw.

Hanru: How do you feel about it?

Shaun: I was given a second chance by God to never kill again in my second life after my rebirth. I feel as if I let him down. I feel as if I failed myself. I know now the pain of love and the pain of loss. I never realized how much death affected people. The lives that shatter from the death of one person is… unbelievable. Seeing what Teegan went through and watching how she so desperately fought to be loved by a person who seemingly had no interest in returning mutual feelings, showed me how powerful love can really be. I regret everything that happened and I can so very easily blame myself for her death, and her mother’s death as well.

Hanru: It’s normal to find some way to blame yourself.

Shaun: (Gets a bit angry) I’ve killed so many people for my own selfish reasons and it… (Sighs) Angers me how selfish I was not to consider how it would affect those who cared for them. I’ve been on both sides of death, and I never, as long as I live, would wanna take another life. This guilt is killing me inside for killing Carrie and Teegan. It’s all my fault they’re both dead, and there is nothing I can do to bring them back!

Hanru: (Pats Shaun on the back) I know; I understand your pain; I know what you’re going through.

Shaun: I think I will feel this guilt my entire life. I think this guilt will forever haunt me.

Hanru: Guilt can be a killer. Perhaps your guilt is killing your dark desires to want to kill.

Shaun: As long as I’m feeling this, I will never take another life again EVER.

Hanru: Perhaps this guilt is God’s way of saving you. If your guilt went away you could end up falling into temptation and end up killing again. As wrong as this is gonna sound… It’s a good thing for you that you murdered the only woman you ever loved. It was her time to go and her death is a seed planted inside you, which will someday sprout into a great big tree of new life. Life ends; life begins.

Shaun: I suppose you are right…

Hanru Narrating: Teegan’s death happened in a flash. She was here one second; gone the next. She was about 19 years old and she died right before Thanksgiving. Her mother died minutes after Teegan. Mother and daughter crossed over together. I guess Carrie didn’t want to leave her daughter alone ever again, so she stayed with her in eternity. Kenneth is completely lost now. Shaun explained how he never in his life will look at death the same way again after Teegan and Carrie. So he finally stopped killing. He stole the baby he found and decided to keep it as his own as he decided to continue on with life in some way. The mother woke up and requested to see her baby, so Shaun was caught minutes later and he had no choice but to give her up. The woman made it with major injuries, and she was once again fit to take care of her baby eventually. Shaun and Kenneth watched as the mother embraced her baby daughter. Shaun and Kenneth have decided to live off the grind but they had nowhere to go, so they kept going until they finally found home. I had no way of contacting them or knowing where they went. I just went back home with Velma and Judy giving me a ride. Once I finally got home, I pulled up to see an ambulance and multiple police treading around my yard and house. As I looked closer at my house I saw that the entire place had been riddled with bullet wounds. Who was that in the gurney dying that pushed right pass me? I had no idea, but to pray no one else in my family was dead…

TO BE CONTINUED…