Dear God

Everyone settled down in the living room and Clary was having an intense stare off with the floor, as if it was something fascinating to her. Like it held all the secrets of the world and it was going to open up to her and tell them all, though she kind of wished it would swallow her up because she felt eyes on her; it was unnerving. She didn’t know whose eyes it was though, it could be all of them or Zacky’s or Jimmy’s or Adrian’s. Clary didn’t are look up because she didn’t want to figure out who it was, either too scared or shy. The look could be condescending and she didn’t want to know if it was.

“What movie were you watching?” Adrian asked, breaking the silence that had enveloped them.

“We were watching Friday the 13th,” Zacky spoke as he sat back, wondering what was up with Clary.

“Ooo slasher movies!!” Adrian squealed and clapped her hands, proving that her and Jimmy were perfect for each other, so far.

Zacky pressed play again and they all settled down, eyes averted to the screen watching as Jason killed the camp counselors at Camp Crystal Lake. Clarissa lost in thought, back to when she first watched this movie. It had scared the shit out of her, making her believe that Freddy was real and that she was gong to die, if she had fallen asleep. For a while there, she had made herself stay up, that was until her best friend told her Freddy wasn’t real and forced her to go to sleep. She missed her best friend and wondered what she was up to, what she had done with her life. If she was still really smart and taking college courses, of course she would be. She was the smartest girl in their class and her parents wanted her to get a better education, so they moved her to a better part of the state.

“Do you have any popcorn?” A small voice asked, pulling their attention away from the movie and to who spoke.

Adrian looked at all of them, her cheeks flushed as she was still nervous.

“Sure follow me,” Clary spoke softly and got up from her seat, walking into the kitchen with the shy girl.

“So, you and Zacky are together?” She asked her.

Instantly, Clary shook her head as she reached in the pantry for the popcorn, denying that her and Zacky were together. And from the look on the girl’s face, she had confused her.

“I was with Matt, before he was in jail.”

Her mouth formed a perfect O shape and she nodded her head, knowing now that was the reason Matt was in jail.

“You’re the reason…”

“Yes I am,” Clary cut her off, wishing she hadn’t brought it up because that brought up old feelings in her.

She felt like she was going to break down as she ripped the cellophane, which covered the bag, and popped it into the microwave. She stared as the bag went around and around, willing the tears to just disappear and the happiness to come back. She hated feeling like this and the awkward silence felt like it was consuming her, smothering her and she couldn’t breath. Her hand fluttered to her throat and Adrian’s eyes went wide and she called for Zacky, who came rushing in and went over to Clary.

“Clary!” He snapped at her. “Take deep calming breaths, breathe in and out. Come on you can do it.”

She did as he said and felt herself clam down, her lungs taking in air and she felt her whole body relax.

“There you go,” Zacky whispered as he pulled her into his arms and the tears fell from her eyes, spilling onto her cheeks.

He continued to rock her and gently coo to her, Adrian looking like a deer caught in the headlights, Jimmy’s arms coming to wrap around her. He whispered something into her hear, making her calm down a bit. The poor girl was still tense, but the lines in her face had softened and she looked a bit better. Clary looked over to her and knew she must have scared the poor girl, feeling pretty bad about that.

“I’m sorry, Adrian,” she spoke, her voice rough and dry.

“It’s okay,” she relaxed most of the way and let out a breath that she had been holding.

The microwave beeped, the girls jumping and letting out anxious laughs, Zacky pressing the button for the door to open. He pulled the popped popcorn bag out and opened it, dumping it into a bowl. He than proceeded to ask if anyone wanted anything on it, everyone asking for salt and extra butter.

“Clary can you get the spray on butter?” He asked as he grabbed the salt from the cabinet from above the stove.

“Of course,” she grabbed the butter, not noticing that Jimmy was watching them.

His eyes followed both their movements, detecting something between them though he thought his eyes were fooling him. Zacky wouldn’t do that to Matt and Clary was in love with him, otherwise Matt going to jail was for nothing. Jimmy had nothing against the girl but he had to get in between her and Zacky, because he didn’t want his friend going down for nothing. He knew that her feelings must be confused because of high hormones and being alone, because of Matt being gone. He wasn’t going to let Matt’s love fall for someone else, especially his own best friend.

“So…” Jimmy said, popping between the two, “popcorn almost done?”

“Yes it’s done,” Clary spoke, picking up the big bowl and clearing her throat; trying to beat the flush that was rising into her cheeks.

Jimmy smiled as he moved away from them, wrapping an arm around his girl and feeling somewhat accomplished. All of them made their way to the living room and took their seats, Jimmy sitting in between Clary and Zacky this time; Adrian had opted to sit in the beanbag on the floor, in front of Jimmy’s legs. He smirked and held the popcorn bowl feeling all sneaky, because no one knew what he was up to and that he was trying to keep them apart. As he ate some of the popcorn, he kept an eye on the people on either side of him, making sure they didn’t go anything. Clary, she looked slightly uncomfortable and looked like she felt awkward with him there; good. Zacky, Zacky looked like he was lost in thought or really into the horror movie playing on the screen. Jimmy knew Adrian was, because this was one of her favorite movies. His eyes then focused on the screen as he watched the movie, content that they weren’t going to do anything since he was in between them.

He was doing this for, Matt. For his friend.