You're So Pretty On the Outside

*Jennifer*

I hung up with Angel and looked at the clock. It was noon. Sighing I got up and walked downstairs into the kitchen where Venita was eating lunch. I leaned over and wrapped my arms tightly around her shoulders. She looked back with a soft smile, knowing what I was thinking.

"Come on," I murmured.

"Okay,” she replied, getting up from her seat.

She finished her sandwich as she placed the plate in the sink and walked back to the front hall, grabbing her purse and keys. Turning to me, she motions to the front door and we exit the apartment before heading down to the bus stop. I kept an eye on her, making sure she was okay.

We stopped at the bus stop and waited a few minutes before the bus rolled up and stopped in front of us. We climbed on and paid, walking to the back of the bus and sitting together. She stared out the window silently. Her eyes were distant, empty.

I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms around her tightly. She jumped slightly, turning back to me. She smiled softly, hugging me back as I pressed my lips to her forehead. She sighed and leaned her head on my shoulder, staring straight ahead.

“What do you think the results gave?” she whispered. I sighed.

“I don’t really want to think about it,” I admitted grimly, turning away.

“Jen,” she sighed. I looked up at her. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Venita,” I replied as the bus came to a stop at our stop.

We got up and walked to the front. The guy opened the door for us and we got off. We travelled down the street, heading to our destination. I looked up at the hospital, tears in my eyes as I slowly moved forward with her beside me. We walked up to the receptionist desk.

“Hello, we have an appointment with Dr. L’Acadie,” I said to the woman behind the counter. She nodded.

“You guys are up in the usual office,” she said, smiling.

I smiled back and thanked her, pulling her after me as we made our way to the elevator. I pressed the up button and the elevator opened for us a few minutes later. I walked into the elevator, leaning against the wall of it as Venita pressed the button for the fifth floor. The doors shut and the elevator travelled up, stopping twice to let people on before getting to our floor.

We walked toward the office and I knocked, glancing in. I looked at Venita who was slowly starting to tear up as she stood beside me, her fear shining through her strong facade. She closed her eyes and shook her head as though it get the tears to go away. I hugged her, tearing up as well as I thought of what could happen.

“Do you want Mathieu?” I asked. She sighed, shaking her head.

“He’s busy,” she murmured.

“Okay,” I said just as the doctor came into the office.

“Hello, ladies,” he said smiling softly. “Please come in, come in.”

Venita took a breath and moved forward, holding her head high as she moved to the seat across from the doctor. I followed, not nearly as strong as the twenty-one year old before me.

We sat together and stared at him. I was slowly beginning to shake as he sat down and pulled out papers. He leafed through them and pulled one out, resting it on the table. He looked it over and looked back up at us.

“Alright so,” he started. “You were tested a few weeks ago for oesophageal cancer.”

“Yes,” Venita confirmed, her voice barely shaking.

“Well, I received the results,” he said. We nodded.

“Well?” I asked nervously. He looked between us.

“I...” he started. “I’m sorry...”

We remained silent as we tried to understand what he meant. Venita’s frame slowly began to shake as she waited for more. She opened her mouth and spoke, her voice quivering as she breathed out a “Why?”

“The tests came back positive,” he replied sadly. “All of them.”

“Is there a way to...?” I started. “To cure her?”

“I’m afraid...” he began. “That there is nothing you can do.”

“Am I going to die?” Venita asked her voice weak and breaking at the last word. The doctor ran a hand over his face and stared down at his desk for moment.

“There’s a-” he started.

“No! I want to know whether I have a better shot at dying or living!” she cut him off, her voice
getting hysterical.

“I...” he stared at her sadly. “The disease is too far spread. It’s spreading farther to your
stomach. You have a slim chance. I’m sorry.”

I was crying as he said this. She’s going to fucking die?

I was amazed to see that she hadn’t started crying yet. I was so close to just breaking down entirely and she was keeping her composure so perfectly. I guess that’s what happens
when you’ve lost the majority of your family to some type of cancer.

“How long do I have?” she whispered, staring at the ground before her feet.

“Four months,” he replied.

Venita nodded slowly and stood up, leaving the room slowly. I followed after her, wiping my eyes as more tears started to fall. We travelled back to the bus stop in silence, our trip being consumed by it. When we got home, she went to her room and closed the door, locking it as she went. I stared at her closed door as tears slipped down my cheeks again.

This can’t be happening.