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You're So Pretty On the Outside
Designated Driver
“I’m going to kill her,” I mumbled to myself as my phone went off for the millionth time.
I rolled over in my bed and pulled the back of the phone off so that I could take out the battery. Oli had been calling me all morning. The first one coming at 4 in the fucking morning. I slammed the various pieces of my phone back down on my nightstand before turning back over in my bed and pulling the blankets over my head.
I whined as someone flipped on my light and it showed through my thick comforter.
“Wakey, wakey, Sunshine,” a very British, very unwanted voice sang.
“No!” I whined. “Get the fuck out, Oli!”
“No can do. Your friend specifically told me that if I didn’t get you out of bed the she would cut off my dick,” he said seriously. “Now, get up before I carry you out there.”
I groaned and pushed my warm blankets off of my face before sitting up. I shot a death glare at Oli before climbing out of the bed and stomping past him not caring that I was clad in only a tank top and extremely short shorts.
“Nice ass,” he commented as he walked along next to me.
“Shut up. Why are you even here?”
“Sarah asked me and the guys to come over. I called you this morning. Why didn’t you answer your phone?”
I narrowed my eyes at him.
“Did you not see the dismantled phone next to my bed? I didn’t want to talk to you. I even took the battery out so that it would stop ringing,” I said through gritted teeth.
He just scoffed. “I know you don’t like me, but I’m not that bad.”
“Whatever. I don’t even care right now. You woke me up so now it’s your job to get me some food.”
He nodded in acceptance and ran to the kitchen. I rolled my eyes as I walked into the living room with my arms crossed. I stood in the doorway tapping my foot until Sarah finally looked up to meet my glare.
“Good morning, Sunshine!” she said innocently.
“Do you mind telling me why you sent the jackass to wake me up?”
She chuckled nervously.
“Well I was talking to the rest of the guys and he offered.”
I raised an eyebrow at her.
“What if I had been naked?”
She just rolled her eyes. “Then you would have finally gotten laid.”
I opened my mouth to interrupt her but she cut me off.
“I was just kidding. Learn to take a joke. I knew that if you were naked your door would be locked.”
“Fine. Whatever.”
I plopped myself down in my favorite chair and curled up in it in an attempt to get a little bit more sleep. Of course that was interrupted.
“Here you go,” Oli said as he set something down on my head.
I growled lightly. “What the hell is on my head?”
“Breakfast.”
I reached up to find toast on a paper towel and muttered my thanks. I growled when Oli sat on the armrest of the chair but otherwise remained silent as I ate.
He started petting my head and I stared at him as if he was the weirdest person on Earth.
“Err… Why are you petting my hair?”
“Because it looked soft. It feels like a puppy.”
I glared at him in annoyance.
“I’m not a dog.”
He shrugged. “You seem pretty bitchy to me.”
“Ha ha, very funny.”
“I don’t get it,” Matt K. said.
“A female dog is called a bitch,” I explained.
“Oh,” he said, a smirk adorning his face.
“Anna, you should go change. We’re going to go bar hopping.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t it only, like, 10 in the morning?”
“More like 6 p.m.,” she said with a laugh.
“Oh.” A small blush rose in my cheeks.
I hadn’t realized that I had slept for so long. I got out of the chair and started walking back to my room.
I heard a slap before Oli cried out in pain.
“Ow! What was that for?”
“For staring at her,” Sarah scolded.
I chuckled slightly and continued to my room.
I pulled out some jeans and a tank top along with a bra and underwear before retreating into the bathroom for a shower. Once I was completely clean I dried myself off and slipped into my clothes. I blow dried my hair and put on my makeup before exiting the bathroom.
“It’s about time, woman!” Sarah exclaimed.
I just rolled my eyes.
“When are we leaving?”
“Right now.”
I groaned and got back up.
“Who’s going with whom?”
“Well, there are seven of us so we’ll need more than one car. One person can go with Angel and the rest can go in Lee’s.”
“That works. I call Sarah.”
She looked at me sheepishly.
“I kind of already said that I would ride with them. We came up with car arrangements while you were in the bathroom.”
“Who’s going with me then?” I sighed.
“Promise you won’t kill me?”
I narrowed my eyes at her.
“No, I cannot promise you that. Who the hell is riding with me, Sarah Bethany Emerson?”
“Oli,” she said in a small voice.
I sighed and rolled my eyes.
“Whatever. Just because I hate him doesn’t mean that I’m going to kill you for making him ride with me. That will just make it easier for me to kill him if he bothers me,” I told her nonchalantly.
“Hey! Don’t kill our singer! If he dies then we’ll have to find someone new,” Curtis whined.
I snickered as Oli pouted.
“Nice to know that you guys care about me so much,” he said sarcastically.
“Whatever. Just shut up and go out to my car before I leave you here.”
We all walked outside and went to our designated cars.
“I wasn’t kidding when I said not to bother me.”
“Fine,” he muttered.
On our way to the first bar he decided to speak up.
“I don’t see why you hate me so much. In general I’ve been nice to you. You could at least be civil.”
“I am being civil. I’m driving you to a bar right now, am I not?”
He shook his head. “That isn’t being civil, that’s helping your friend out.”
“I am so glad that Sarah is practically straightedge,” I grumbled to myself.
I cut the engine as we arrived at the bar and turned on the alarm once Oli was out as well. I walked up to Sarah and handed her my keys.
“I’m drinking tonight.”
She sighed before telling the guys that we would need another designated driver for their car. Her smile got significantly brighter when Curtis offered.
“Well then, go stay sober with your lover,” I joked as I ran off toward the bar.
“Something strong and fruity,” I said to the bartender.
------------
A few hours later I was hammered.
“You’re an alcoholic,” Sarah said with a laugh.
“No, you are,” I slurred.
“Here, Oli. You take her.”
I collapsed onto his lap once her grip on me was gone and I wrapped my arms around his neck.
“Mmm… I don’t like you, but you make a great pillow,” I said sleepily before drifting off into a deep sleep.
I rolled over in my bed and pulled the back of the phone off so that I could take out the battery. Oli had been calling me all morning. The first one coming at 4 in the fucking morning. I slammed the various pieces of my phone back down on my nightstand before turning back over in my bed and pulling the blankets over my head.
I whined as someone flipped on my light and it showed through my thick comforter.
“Wakey, wakey, Sunshine,” a very British, very unwanted voice sang.
“No!” I whined. “Get the fuck out, Oli!”
“No can do. Your friend specifically told me that if I didn’t get you out of bed the she would cut off my dick,” he said seriously. “Now, get up before I carry you out there.”
I groaned and pushed my warm blankets off of my face before sitting up. I shot a death glare at Oli before climbing out of the bed and stomping past him not caring that I was clad in only a tank top and extremely short shorts.
“Nice ass,” he commented as he walked along next to me.
“Shut up. Why are you even here?”
“Sarah asked me and the guys to come over. I called you this morning. Why didn’t you answer your phone?”
I narrowed my eyes at him.
“Did you not see the dismantled phone next to my bed? I didn’t want to talk to you. I even took the battery out so that it would stop ringing,” I said through gritted teeth.
He just scoffed. “I know you don’t like me, but I’m not that bad.”
“Whatever. I don’t even care right now. You woke me up so now it’s your job to get me some food.”
He nodded in acceptance and ran to the kitchen. I rolled my eyes as I walked into the living room with my arms crossed. I stood in the doorway tapping my foot until Sarah finally looked up to meet my glare.
“Good morning, Sunshine!” she said innocently.
“Do you mind telling me why you sent the jackass to wake me up?”
She chuckled nervously.
“Well I was talking to the rest of the guys and he offered.”
I raised an eyebrow at her.
“What if I had been naked?”
She just rolled her eyes. “Then you would have finally gotten laid.”
I opened my mouth to interrupt her but she cut me off.
“I was just kidding. Learn to take a joke. I knew that if you were naked your door would be locked.”
“Fine. Whatever.”
I plopped myself down in my favorite chair and curled up in it in an attempt to get a little bit more sleep. Of course that was interrupted.
“Here you go,” Oli said as he set something down on my head.
I growled lightly. “What the hell is on my head?”
“Breakfast.”
I reached up to find toast on a paper towel and muttered my thanks. I growled when Oli sat on the armrest of the chair but otherwise remained silent as I ate.
He started petting my head and I stared at him as if he was the weirdest person on Earth.
“Err… Why are you petting my hair?”
“Because it looked soft. It feels like a puppy.”
I glared at him in annoyance.
“I’m not a dog.”
He shrugged. “You seem pretty bitchy to me.”
“Ha ha, very funny.”
“I don’t get it,” Matt K. said.
“A female dog is called a bitch,” I explained.
“Oh,” he said, a smirk adorning his face.
“Anna, you should go change. We’re going to go bar hopping.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t it only, like, 10 in the morning?”
“More like 6 p.m.,” she said with a laugh.
“Oh.” A small blush rose in my cheeks.
I hadn’t realized that I had slept for so long. I got out of the chair and started walking back to my room.
I heard a slap before Oli cried out in pain.
“Ow! What was that for?”
“For staring at her,” Sarah scolded.
I chuckled slightly and continued to my room.
I pulled out some jeans and a tank top along with a bra and underwear before retreating into the bathroom for a shower. Once I was completely clean I dried myself off and slipped into my clothes. I blow dried my hair and put on my makeup before exiting the bathroom.
“It’s about time, woman!” Sarah exclaimed.
I just rolled my eyes.
“When are we leaving?”
“Right now.”
I groaned and got back up.
“Who’s going with whom?”
“Well, there are seven of us so we’ll need more than one car. One person can go with Angel and the rest can go in Lee’s.”
“That works. I call Sarah.”
She looked at me sheepishly.
“I kind of already said that I would ride with them. We came up with car arrangements while you were in the bathroom.”
“Who’s going with me then?” I sighed.
“Promise you won’t kill me?”
I narrowed my eyes at her.
“No, I cannot promise you that. Who the hell is riding with me, Sarah Bethany Emerson?”
“Oli,” she said in a small voice.
I sighed and rolled my eyes.
“Whatever. Just because I hate him doesn’t mean that I’m going to kill you for making him ride with me. That will just make it easier for me to kill him if he bothers me,” I told her nonchalantly.
“Hey! Don’t kill our singer! If he dies then we’ll have to find someone new,” Curtis whined.
I snickered as Oli pouted.
“Nice to know that you guys care about me so much,” he said sarcastically.
“Whatever. Just shut up and go out to my car before I leave you here.”
We all walked outside and went to our designated cars.
“I wasn’t kidding when I said not to bother me.”
“Fine,” he muttered.
On our way to the first bar he decided to speak up.
“I don’t see why you hate me so much. In general I’ve been nice to you. You could at least be civil.”
“I am being civil. I’m driving you to a bar right now, am I not?”
He shook his head. “That isn’t being civil, that’s helping your friend out.”
“I am so glad that Sarah is practically straightedge,” I grumbled to myself.
I cut the engine as we arrived at the bar and turned on the alarm once Oli was out as well. I walked up to Sarah and handed her my keys.
“I’m drinking tonight.”
She sighed before telling the guys that we would need another designated driver for their car. Her smile got significantly brighter when Curtis offered.
“Well then, go stay sober with your lover,” I joked as I ran off toward the bar.
“Something strong and fruity,” I said to the bartender.
------------
A few hours later I was hammered.
“You’re an alcoholic,” Sarah said with a laugh.
“No, you are,” I slurred.
“Here, Oli. You take her.”
I collapsed onto his lap once her grip on me was gone and I wrapped my arms around his neck.
“Mmm… I don’t like you, but you make a great pillow,” I said sleepily before drifting off into a deep sleep.