You're So Pretty On the Outside

*Kean*

Everything was getting messed up. It’d been a few days since Venita passed away. Mathieu was going through a depression and could barely go a minute on stage without breaking down. Danny and Oli had offered to take over for him. We all wanted him to take a break. He shouldn’t be performing in such a state. He was just too stubborn though.

He was starting to get into fights with his band about it. They wanted him to stop. They knew he needed time to recuperate and move on to a certain extent. It’s not easy losing your lover; especially not after four years of dating.

Oli could’ve been better too. He’s been broken up since Angel told him about the baby and the other guy. I hated seeing him like this. I hated seeing everyone like this. Jennifer has been staying optimistic to a certain extent which is always good but she had her moments.

Right now we were sitting backstage. We were going to be playing in about an hour. Oli and Danny were still trying to convince Mathieu to take a break and let them handle his part. He needed it.

“No!” Mathieu repeated. “I told you, I need to do this. It’s my band! I can do this!”

“If you could do this you wouldn’t be breaking down halfway through your set!” Danny argued.

“Mathieu, please,” Oli said, clearly frustrated. “We know the words to your songs. We know them perfectly, I swear. Please, you need to rest!”

“What about you?” Mathieu argued.

“It’s...not as bad,” Oli replied uncertainly.

“But-”

“Mathieu, s’il vous plait, juste arête!” Jennifer begged. “Oli and Danny are right! You need to stop! You come off stage crying every time you finish performing!”

“No, I can’t let my band down!” Mathieu argued.

“You’re not! You’re going to be making us happy, Mathieu!” Pierre cut in.

“How would I be making you guys happy?” Mathieu exclaimed. “I’d be leaving the damn band for who knows how long!”

“Mathieu, we’d rather you stop performing for a little while and get back on your feet than break down every single time you get up there and risk an even worse depression!” Oli replied.

“But I’m not going into a depre-”

“Don’t even try!” Lee cut him off. “You are far from okay, Mathieu, and don’t even try denying it!”

“But-”

“Mathieu!” Simon interrupted. “T’es pas correct! Tu ne vas pas joué ce soir et c’est finale!”

“Tu ne peux pas faire ca!” Mathieu argued.

“Oui, je peux! On veut que tu relax! Ta blonde a juste mourru, câlisse!” Simon screamed. “C’est finale; tu ne joue pas pour au moins quelque semaines!”

“Mais... mais...” Mathieu tried desperately.

“Arrête!” Simon interrupted. “C’est tout!”

The only ones who really understood the exchange were the rest of his band and Jennifer. They were all staring at Mathieu apologetically. Simon turned to Oli and Danny.

“Can you guys fill in for the next couple of weeks?” he asked.

Danny and Oli looked at Mathieu uncertainly. He was staring at the ground with tears running down his cheeks. He looked up again.

“You can’t take this from me,” he whimpered. “You don’t understand! This is the only thing keeping me fucking sane!”

“Well it’s clearly not working!” Simon argued. “You’re worse when you get off stage than when you get on!”

“Please, Simon,” Mathieu begged. “Don’t take this away from me.”

“Mathieu,” he sighed, walking to him. “You don’t understand. I understand you need it but you need to get control of your emotions again, okay? You’ve been crying for the past week. Just take it easy the next few weeks and then you can get back in. When you’ve regained control of your emotions.”

Mathieu stared at him, tears streaking down his face. He shook his head slowly and buried his face in his hands for a few seconds. He nodded his head slowly, looking up at his fellow screamers.

“Okay,” he sighed. “You guys win. You guys can take care of my part for me.”

Danny and Oli smiled in relief and walked over, hugging him in turn.

“We won’t let you down,” Danny reassured. Mathieu sighed.

“There’s no way you two will ever let me down,” he sighed. “If anything you’ll be better.”

“Woah, do not think like that,” Oli frowned. “No one is better than the original. No one. These are your songs and you will always be the best.”

Mathieu looked up at him. A smile seemed to finally be finding its way onto his features. It had been so long since he’d smiled. He hugged them again, thanking them over and over. Oli looked over at Danny for a second.

“Who goes up today?” he asked. Danny shrugged.

“You can if you’d like,” Danny replied. Oli looked at Mathieu.

“What do you think?” he asked. Mathieu shrugged.

“You guys pick,” he replied. “You’re the ones performing.”

“I’ll go on today then,” Oli replied. “You go tomorrow. We continue like that until he’s better.”

Danny nodded. “Agreed.”