Burning Bridges
Your Call- Secondhand Serenade
“Don’t waste your time on me, you’re already the voice inside my head,” John sang along with Madilyn to the sounds coming from the stereo. She was driving down the street he lived on.
“I had a really good time today, Madi.” He bit his lip, afraid to say the wrong thing and watch their friendship shatters to his feet.
Madilyn smiled at the nickname, “Me too, John. Thanks for coming. I think Will and Andy were glad for a little more testosterone.”
“How long has everyone been together?”
She squinted at the road a little, searching her memory. “Em and Will got together, hell, three years ago now. Tori and Andy just got together a few months ago, but he’s really good to her. I’m glad they have someone, and for me to say someone’s good enough for either of them is a stretch.”
“Are you sure they didn’t mind me coming?” Even if they hadn’t, he decided, spending the day at the lake with Madilyn and her friends was worth a little bitterness from Emily and Victoria. She had started tutoring him towards the end of the first semester, the summer sun was now burning Arizona.
“Em and Tori adore you. Haven’t you seen them in band, or were you too distracted by your violin?” She teased lightly. “They’re hoping you’ll rub off on me and I’ll take up something so they can have me there with them. They’ve honestly been trying to convince me for years.”
“They never really talked to me in band…” he said quietly, noting that Madilyn had taken the long way down the road, taking the large circle rather than the shortcut he had shown her back in January. His mind was still on her choice of words, her friends adored him. Did that mean he found a place where they accepted him the way Madilyn had accepted Andrew and William? This wasn’t the first time she had brought him to an outing with the group, always those four. Was he her date? Her substitute?
“They didn’t really know you. Plus, they kind of stick to each other and a few others in band.”
“If I ask you something, will you answer me honestly, Madilyn?”
She smiled, slowing the pace of the car to extend the trip. “Have I ever lied to you, John?”
“When you bring me to these things with everyone else…is it meant to be like a triple date or do you just bring me so you aren’t drowned in the sappy couple mood?” He remembered when William and Emily had gone off shell hunting and Victoria and Andrew had gone off in search of a rumored waterfall. Every time, it ended up being just Madilyn and John sitting alone, or taking a walk by themselves.
She bit at her lip. “I normally don’t bring boys to things with the girls. We never used to do even numbers, it used to just be everyone going to everything. After sophomore year,” she didn’t have to elaborate, he remembered the story of his brother and friend spreading rumors, “everything changed. I didn’t really have boyfriends, I would date someone for a little while and get scared, thinking that he was going to turn against me, so I ran. They used to be afraid to just have them and their boys around me. You’re nothing like anyone before, John.”
“But we aren’t dating…are we?”
Her laugh filled the car as she pulled into the driveway. Shifting into park, she looked at him, “The fact that you’re not sure worries me a little.”
“We aren’t right?”
“Well, I must say, if we were, I would’ve expected to have been asked. I am very fond of you, though, John.”
It took him a minute, “I like you too, Madi.”
“And why is that?” From the smirk, he knew she was speaking of psychology.
“Chemicals, hormones, I know, it’s all biological. Why must you ruin the fun in everything?”
She pouted; he leaned over, pressing his lips to hers. “Because with everyone else, it let me explain the so called ‘butterflies in my stomach’ away.” Her hand rested on his cheek softly, keeping him grounded, he thought.
“I better get inside. Can we hang out again soon?”
Her smile faltered a little, but she covered it well. “Sure, just call me or something.”
He was halfway out of the car when he turned around. “Hey Madi?” She looked up from the dashboard. “Will you go out with me?” A huge grin was plastered on his face.
“What else would you call what we’ve been doing?”
“You know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I do.” She laughed lightly. “I’d love to John. You better get inside.”
“I’m driving next time!” He promised before making his way inside.
****
“Madi?” John’s voice questioned her calling not even ten minutes after dropping him off. “Is everything okay?”
“I just needed to hear your voice, is all.”
“Are you okay?”
“I don’t know. I think so.”
“I’ll be over there in five minutes,” he was already pulling on his shoes and grabbing the keys to his newly acquired car.
He found Madilyn in her bedroom, her mother had quickly sent him up with a wave of her hand, now used to his visits. The soft sounds of Blink 182 on repeat greeted his ears, which would have brought a smile if it wasn’t for the sight of her pulled up tight in her sheets.
“What’s wrong, Madi?” She looked so raw when she looked at him, her face stripped of the layers she always hid behind. She released her arms from the nest, holding them out to him in request.
John crawled in next to her, hugging her body close to his. She buried her face in the crook of his neck. “I’m afraid, John.”
“Of what?” His eyebrows pulled together in confusion.
“I’m not supposed to fall for boys, John. They’re supposed to fall for me and I get scared and run. I like you too much, John. I think I love you.”
He kissed her temple, running his nose over her hair affectionately. “I love you too, Madi. It’s okay, I’m not going to run off, and don’t you dare try to because I’ll chase you to the ends of the earth.”
“Just stay with me tonight?” She closed the little space between their bodies, hoping he would just give her this one thing.
“Of course,” he let her bury her face in his neck after he wrapped a blanket around the two of them.
“I had a really good time today, Madi.” He bit his lip, afraid to say the wrong thing and watch their friendship shatters to his feet.
Madilyn smiled at the nickname, “Me too, John. Thanks for coming. I think Will and Andy were glad for a little more testosterone.”
“How long has everyone been together?”
She squinted at the road a little, searching her memory. “Em and Will got together, hell, three years ago now. Tori and Andy just got together a few months ago, but he’s really good to her. I’m glad they have someone, and for me to say someone’s good enough for either of them is a stretch.”
“Are you sure they didn’t mind me coming?” Even if they hadn’t, he decided, spending the day at the lake with Madilyn and her friends was worth a little bitterness from Emily and Victoria. She had started tutoring him towards the end of the first semester, the summer sun was now burning Arizona.
“Em and Tori adore you. Haven’t you seen them in band, or were you too distracted by your violin?” She teased lightly. “They’re hoping you’ll rub off on me and I’ll take up something so they can have me there with them. They’ve honestly been trying to convince me for years.”
“They never really talked to me in band…” he said quietly, noting that Madilyn had taken the long way down the road, taking the large circle rather than the shortcut he had shown her back in January. His mind was still on her choice of words, her friends adored him. Did that mean he found a place where they accepted him the way Madilyn had accepted Andrew and William? This wasn’t the first time she had brought him to an outing with the group, always those four. Was he her date? Her substitute?
“They didn’t really know you. Plus, they kind of stick to each other and a few others in band.”
“If I ask you something, will you answer me honestly, Madilyn?”
She smiled, slowing the pace of the car to extend the trip. “Have I ever lied to you, John?”
“When you bring me to these things with everyone else…is it meant to be like a triple date or do you just bring me so you aren’t drowned in the sappy couple mood?” He remembered when William and Emily had gone off shell hunting and Victoria and Andrew had gone off in search of a rumored waterfall. Every time, it ended up being just Madilyn and John sitting alone, or taking a walk by themselves.
She bit at her lip. “I normally don’t bring boys to things with the girls. We never used to do even numbers, it used to just be everyone going to everything. After sophomore year,” she didn’t have to elaborate, he remembered the story of his brother and friend spreading rumors, “everything changed. I didn’t really have boyfriends, I would date someone for a little while and get scared, thinking that he was going to turn against me, so I ran. They used to be afraid to just have them and their boys around me. You’re nothing like anyone before, John.”
“But we aren’t dating…are we?”
Her laugh filled the car as she pulled into the driveway. Shifting into park, she looked at him, “The fact that you’re not sure worries me a little.”
“We aren’t right?”
“Well, I must say, if we were, I would’ve expected to have been asked. I am very fond of you, though, John.”
It took him a minute, “I like you too, Madi.”
“And why is that?” From the smirk, he knew she was speaking of psychology.
“Chemicals, hormones, I know, it’s all biological. Why must you ruin the fun in everything?”
She pouted; he leaned over, pressing his lips to hers. “Because with everyone else, it let me explain the so called ‘butterflies in my stomach’ away.” Her hand rested on his cheek softly, keeping him grounded, he thought.
“I better get inside. Can we hang out again soon?”
Her smile faltered a little, but she covered it well. “Sure, just call me or something.”
He was halfway out of the car when he turned around. “Hey Madi?” She looked up from the dashboard. “Will you go out with me?” A huge grin was plastered on his face.
“What else would you call what we’ve been doing?”
“You know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I do.” She laughed lightly. “I’d love to John. You better get inside.”
“I’m driving next time!” He promised before making his way inside.
****
“Madi?” John’s voice questioned her calling not even ten minutes after dropping him off. “Is everything okay?”
“I just needed to hear your voice, is all.”
“Are you okay?”
“I don’t know. I think so.”
“I’ll be over there in five minutes,” he was already pulling on his shoes and grabbing the keys to his newly acquired car.
He found Madilyn in her bedroom, her mother had quickly sent him up with a wave of her hand, now used to his visits. The soft sounds of Blink 182 on repeat greeted his ears, which would have brought a smile if it wasn’t for the sight of her pulled up tight in her sheets.
“What’s wrong, Madi?” She looked so raw when she looked at him, her face stripped of the layers she always hid behind. She released her arms from the nest, holding them out to him in request.
John crawled in next to her, hugging her body close to his. She buried her face in the crook of his neck. “I’m afraid, John.”
“Of what?” His eyebrows pulled together in confusion.
“I’m not supposed to fall for boys, John. They’re supposed to fall for me and I get scared and run. I like you too much, John. I think I love you.”
He kissed her temple, running his nose over her hair affectionately. “I love you too, Madi. It’s okay, I’m not going to run off, and don’t you dare try to because I’ll chase you to the ends of the earth.”
“Just stay with me tonight?” She closed the little space between their bodies, hoping he would just give her this one thing.
“Of course,” he let her bury her face in his neck after he wrapped a blanket around the two of them.