What Once Was, Is No More

“Olivia are you okay?” Jason asked knocking on the bathroom door.

Olivia was kneeling down, hands on her knees, hovering over the toilet seat. Too many thoughts fluttered in her head, making her feel dizzier, causing another burning sensation rush up to her throat.

“Come on Liv open the door.” Jason commanded, turning the doorknob a couple of times.

When Olivia felt like there was nothing else left for her to purge out of her stomach, she flushed the remnants, allowing the swooshing sound calm her nerves. She stood in front of the sink, washing out her mouth, and then stared at herself in the mirror. Her flushed cheeks faded and in a matter of seconds she appeared ghostly in appearance. She sucked in the air and let out a heavy breath, trying to regain her composure, but how could she?

She shook her head and sighed before opening the door. Jason quickly got up from the bed, looking confused and concerned, wanting to know if she was okay. She smiled reassuringly.

“Are you okay?” He asked her a final time.

She nodded her head. “I’m fine. I…you just freaked me out.” She said leaning her back against a wall.

“I scared you to the point of being sick?”

“No, the food at the hospital tasted kinda bad, I just haven’t been feeling well since lunch. I guess the scared feeling triggered the reflux.” She said wrapping her arms around her stomach.

He walked up to her, tightening the towel around his waist, and hugged her. Oddly enough, the warmth he emitted and the feeling of being in his arms again comforted her. She slowly wrapped her arms around his bare torso and dug her head in the crook of his neck. She breathed in his scent; it wasn’t like Brendon’s, but his own-one that she just realized how much she missed.

“Feeling better?” He asked staring down at her.

She looked into his hazel eyes and smiled at him. “I am.” She nodded and reached up to kiss him.

She didn’t think after being with Brendon she’d miss Jason, his kisses and being in his arms, but she did, which caused her to wonder if moving with Brendon would be the best decision.

“So what happened? You said you’d be gone for a month.” She asked moving her arms from his back to around this neck.

“I lied. I was never gonna be gone for a month. You didn’t really think I was gonna miss our anniversary did you?” He asked sliding his hands down to her waist.

She shrugged her shoulders. “I don’t know. I figured business is business and we’d celebrate when you got back.”

He smirked and directed his eyes towards the pink bag sitting on the floor next to the bed. “Is what’s inside that pink bag part of the celebration?” He asked looking back at her.

She had almost forgotten about her purchase from earlier. She stared down at it, thinking how she bought it for Brendon, but telling him that was not an option.

He took the sexy smirk on her face for a ‘yes’. “How about a little preview then?”

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/

Brendon placed his hoodie over his head as the sky drizzled upon the city and pushed his hands inside the pockets of his jacket. He carefully maneuvered his way around the puddles that formed during the night’s rain and from time to time he’d purposely step in the shallow waters.

He pulled down his hoodie as he pulled the door open to enter the bistro. He lightly brushed off the little droplets left on his pullover and scanned the restaurant for Courtney. She waved at him from one of the tables; he smiled at her as he walked to the table. She somehow managed to look fresh and dry, despite the light rain. Her blonde hair laid on her shoulders, almost like a golden waterfall and her blue eyes could pierce through anything. Though beautiful inside and out, she was no Olivia-the woman was everything to him.

“Hey.” Courtney said getting up to hug Brendon.

“Hey.” As she began to wrap her arms around him he held his hands up to stop her. “Oh no, no. I’m all wet.”

She smiled at him and continued with the hug. “Trust me, you get used to it here.”

Brendon rolled up his sleeves as they sat down across from each other. The server came and took their drink order and they continued catching up since their last encounter.

“So how have you been?” Courtney asked as they looked through the menu.

“Uh…pretty good actually. Way better than when I arrived here. You?” He said with honesty in his voice.

“That’s great. I’m happy you’re doing much better.” She said flashing him a genuine smile, but then it quickly faded. “I’m okay, but honestly, I’ve been a little confused.” She said looking directly into his eyes.

Brendon placed his hand over his mouth letting it fall to his chin as he lightly stroked it, staring at her curiously. “Confused about what?” He asked.

“About us, what happened that night. I just want some clarification.” She said sitting back in her seat, crossing her legs, and folding her arms over her chest.

He let out a heavy sigh. “I’m sorry Courtney; I never meant to lead you on like that. I like you, but as my friend and what happened that night shouldn’t have happened.” He said apologetically.

He was surprised she smiled at him. “I understand. I figured that’s what it would come down to; I just wanted to clear the air. But…she’s a lucky woman.”

Her last statement surprised Brendon. What did she mean by ‘she’s a lucky woman’? Whom was she talking about?

“What?” He asked in a puzzled tone.

“The woman you’re in love with. She’s lucky to have your love.” She responded before taking a sip of her drink.

Brendon looked down at his hands that were cupped on the table. Olivia’s face appeared in his mind, her green eyes glistening, and her smile radiating. The upper corners of his lips curved up into a smile and he let out a small chuckle.

“Yeah…if only she wasn’t off limits.” He answered, slumping back into his chair.

He looked up at Courtney, who was trying to figure out what he meant by that. “What do you mean ‘off limits’? She’s unavailable?” She asked arching an eyebrow.

He nodded his head slowly. “Very unavailable.” That guilt he’d been feeling lingered in his tone.

“Oh my gosh, are you in love with Olivia?” She asked leaning in towards him.

He stayed silent. “Brendon! That’s your cousin’s girlfriend.”

“I know she is, but I’ve been in love with her for years. Since the first time I laid eyes on her.”

“How long?” She almost whispered to him.

“Eighteen years.” He said looking away from her.

“Wow. So you two were together then huh?” Brendon nodded. “Does she know how you feel about her?”

“Yeah and she loves me too, but I don’t know now.” Ever since Jason came home and told him he was going to propose to Olivia, Brendon felt unsure about everything they planned to do.

“Why? I mean you love her and she loves you.” She said pulling back her hair and letting it fall to one side.

“If only love were that easy. There’s a complication now. Jason came home earlier than expected…” He said playing with his straw.

“Oh…I guess that would complicate things.”

“That’s not even the half of it.” He pursed his lips in to wet them after feeling how dry they were. “He’s proposing to her in a couple of days.” He answered.

Courtney’s jaw dropped a little and then quickly clenched it back. She didn’t know what to tell him anymore. She reached across the table and squeezed his hand in a comforting fashion, giving him a sympathetic look. He lifted one corner of his mouth, giving her a half smile.

He slowly slid his hand out of her light grip. “Enough about that, I wanted to ask you if you wanna have dinner tomorrow night with me, Olivia and Jason? His treat.”

“How can you even be in the same room as them?” She asked, knowing if she were in Brendon’s position, she’d feel immensely awkward.

He shrugged his shoulders. “I honestly don’t know. I’m sure it won’t the best experience, but I think I’d feel a lot of better if you were there.”

Her heart went out to Brendon, how could she say no at this point. “Of course I’ll go.”

1 hour later

Brendon entered the apartment subtly, trying his best not to make a sound. He didn’t want to see Olivia or Jason at the moment; he just wasn’t ready to be face to face with them, together at the same time.

As he hurried to his room, he couldn’t help but overhear the sounds coming from Jason and Olivia’s bedroom. The air sucking moans were enough to let him know what was going on.

He regretfully leaned his head nearer to the door and lightly pressed his ear against it. “Oh Liv…that feels amazing.” Another moan. “Yes, right there. Oh God.”

He pulled away and quickly walked to his room not wanting to believe that what was happening in that room wasn’t actually happening. He took a seat on the foot of his bed and buried his head in his hands, slowly sliding them up into his hair. His heart ached; the girl he was in love with was in the arms of another man. The feeling of jealously overwhelmed Brendon, but knowing he couldn’t do anything about it he crawled up the bed and laid there hoping the stings of his watery eyes would put him to sleep.

“Liv…” He whispered.