I Can Tell Your Mood Just by Your Eyes

The gentle ocean breeze danced my hair in front of my face as I made my way down to the beach. I tucked my car keys into the pocket of my jeans just as I caught sight of Kale, playing volleyball with the guys.

I watched him make a great block and score, then high five his teammates. The look on his face… He was having fun. Enjoying the game and his friends. Enjoying his summer. And I was about to ruin it with two words. I sat down in the sand.

He caught sight of me and slapped one of the guys on the back before jogging over, his face full of his smile.

"No, babe, go play your game. I'm just watching…"

"I gotta say hi to my honey," he answered. He grabbed my hands and pulled me up, immediately wrapping his arms around me and twirling me around. When he set me down, he kissed me, soft and romantic but passionate and desiring at the same time. I nearly melted, just as I usually did at his kiss.

"Kay. Now go back and win," I told him, looking at the ground.

He took my chin gently and guided my face upwards, forcing me to look him in the eye. When his golden brown eyes met my baby blues, his face fell.

"What's wrong?" he asked tenderly.

"I-" Could I do it? Could I ruin not only his summer, but his life? More importantly, was I strong enough to go through this alone?

"I'm pregnant."

♦♦♦

Kale and I had met at that same beach, six weeks before. I had been out of school for a week, choosing the college's offer of a traditional year schedule. My friends and I were watching him throw a frisbee around with some other guys. We shared flirty glances, and as the sun went down and we set up a bonfire, they asked to join us.

Alcohol was involved, and the next morning I'd woken up next to him in his bed, knowing almost exactly what had happened, despite the throbbing ache in my head. I woke him up and we'd had a conversation. He asked me out.

Backwards, I thought, but it'll do.

A relationship grew.

He was sweet and could be gentlemanly at times. He loved the beach and sports. He also said he loved me. We were a happy summer couple, not knowing if it would last and not really caring — just living in the moment and having as much fun as we could.

I started throwing up a lot. Then my period was a week late. I cried over the plus sign for a good night.

The next morning, I told my mother and she set up a doctor's appointment immediately. I cried again when the doctor confirmed it.

I spent the next week with Kale, trying to act normal as I tried to decide what to do. Were that close? Would we last past the summer? Should I burden him with that? Should I take it all on by myself? What was I going to do?

♦♦♦

He was completely quiet, and I began to get worried. One question I hadn't asked myself: could I handle the rejection at this moment? Then he kissed me on the forehead. He walked back to the volleyball game.

"Hey, guys," I heard him say. "I'm gonna head out with Kat." He grabbed his shirt and his friends called their farewells. "Come on," he said softly to me as he slipped his arm around my waist.

"Can I drive?" he asked me when we reached my car. I handed him my keys and he opened the passenger door for me. He started the car and pulled out into the street. I felt the weight of the silence bearing down on me as I played with my hands.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I nearly whispered.

He hesitated. "Can we just drive for a while?"

"Sure," I answered. Without taking his eyes off of the road, he reached over and took my hand. Instantly, I felt better. My heart grew warm and a smile came onto my face. While he was taking in the information and figuring out what it meant, I could take a step back. I could forget about my worries and watch the road pass by — as long as his hand was in mine.

♦♦♦

At sunset, our drive took us back to our beloved beach. The sun had set, and the beach cleared, as it was colder now. I got my hood from the back seat while he opened the car door for me. Hand in hand, we walked down to the beach, the sat in the sand. Kale looked into my eyes for a long moment, then turned to face the water, and guided my head to his shoulder. I snuggled closer to him, loving how we fit together. But I knew what was coming.

"There are three options," he said thoughtfully, then asked, "Abortion?"

"No," I answered. "I don't think I could live with myself."

"Adoption?"

"Maybe. But I'm not sure I could do it."

He paused. "Keeping it."

He had spoken it as a statement. I paused too. "Maybe."

He turned to me and I lifted my head from his shoulder. "I'm not going to bail, Kat. Whatever you choose, I'll be right there with you. And, hey, since abortion's out, you've got nine months to decide what you're gonna do. This is your choice. But I'll help as much as I can."

His reaction didn't come close to anything I was prepared for. I felt tears slide down my cheeks.

"Shh," he said gently as he wiped them away. "It's gonna be alright, Kat." He kissed my forehead, then hugged me to him. He rocked me back and forth gently as I cried into his shirt. "I love you," he whispered. I cried just a little harder.

♦♦♦

She was a summer baby.

Ariel Dawn took her father's last name. I hadn't yet. I would soon, but neither of us knew that.

All we knew, as I held our daughter and he held me, was that she was beautiful. She was amazing, priceless, and we'd give anything for her. Neither of us could abandon her.

Love. We'd found love.