When in Love, Forced to Part

I watched as they brought Aiden out of the room, listening to the howling laughter and remarks from him and his friend Chrissy. When the doctor walked me in, all I could think of was our last day as friends. I could not tear my eyes away from him, even when he finally looked away. I felt my heart race when he began walking, then falling and ripping his stitches. I wanted to run to him myself, and just hold him in my arms, but… that was the old us.

When his cursing faded down the hallway, I quietly looked down at my shaking hands. I felt my roommates gaze on me, and I just turned around, laying down, pretending to be asleep. Around five minutes later, she had a guest.

“Dave!” Chrissy said loudly, and then whispering once, she realized I was asleep. I had always seen her linking arms with Aiden. Every time I felt jealous. I wanted to be the one walking with him through the hallways.

“Hey, Chrissy. Where is Aiden? That little bitch has not come to visit me. How dare he?” I heard her guest say, chuckling softly.

“He came, but… he had to rest. He also ripped his stitches while trying to leave. He must really not want to see you,” she said sarcastically. I could feel the hesitance in her voice when she said he had to rest. Yes, I knew he left because of me. Hell, I would have left if it were not my room.

“Ok, Chrissy. I will try visiting him later. Is he all right? It is scary seeing you two a few minutes before your crash. I am so happy you two are not dead. Poor car though,” he said slowly drifting off. I heard a hand smack skin, and her guest laugh.

“Dave, you’re an asshole. However, yeah, try visiting him. He will not have any family to visit, and that makes me really worried for him. I would die if I woke up to no one with me. Aiden hates hospitals. Maybe mom and dad can go say hi too.” As I eavesdropped, I felt my heart pang with sorrow. Aiden was always afraid of hospitals. His favorite grandma died in this very hospital. I remember talking to him about it when we were little. She died slowly and ever since the site of a hospital tore him apart.

“I’ll go try right now, but if he is resting, I doubt they will let me in. I also have to go, which I am so sorry. Need anything; you make sure you hit the damn nurse button. Abuse that shit as much as you can,” Dave said laughing, and then leaving. I let silence hold the room, until my curiosity took over.

“How’s Aiden’s family?” I asked, still lying down. I begged tremendously that it was not half as bad as mine. I saw images of my father hitting me, and I winced. Then I imagined him hitting Clayne, and I held back my tears.

“Why do you want to know?” I looked over at her. I saw the hate on her face, and wondered if she knew what had ever happened.

“I…I need to know. Please?” I saw her countenance soften a little, but she stayed silent. “I’ll tell you something, if you tell me?” I saw her nod, and I took a deep breathe.
“Me and Aiden… we use to be best friends. Ever since we were little kids, we would be inseparable. There was not a day we did not at least see each other. There was never a bad moment, until his father… Let us just say he was not exactly nice, and ever since that day, we have not talked. Not a single word has been shared,” I said, choking up. I heard her sniffle a little, and just wrapped my hands around my knees.

“I’m going to gander, your life isn’t very peachy. I know abuse when I see it,” she whispered as a nurse walked by our room. I knew I looked bad. “I think you’re a little bit better off then Aiden, Hun.” My eyes widened as I looked up at her. I thought of all the beatings I had gotten, and it was hard to believe that. I did not want to believe her.

Aiden and I had always been a little different. I was more out with my emotions, and I worried more. I was more sensible then him. He was funnier, he stuck up for me more, but he never saw the seriousness of important things. Like abuse.

“His mother is drunk 24/7. His house is falling apart. His dad… his dad abuses him and even... he even…” She looked around, beginning to cry. I watched her as if my life depended on it. “He rapes him a lot,” she said crying.

My whole vision blurred, letting me not focus on her, or anything. It could not be true. My poor, Aiden was being raped because of… me. I knew it was because he was gay. The whole school knew, and he was picked on because of it. I myself did not know what I was. Was I bisexual, gay, or straight? I knew my father thought I was, but how does he if even I didn’t know? I felt myself begin to hyperventilate. I wanted to protect him from his father, but all I could think of was that one day.

No one would guess that he was a victim of rape. No one even guessed I was abused. I stared at the wall, just thinking. Eventually Chrissy cried herself to sleep. She must have been the only one who knew. It is a lot to handle. I wish I could tell someone, but I was too afraid. A nurse came in again during nighttime, and I asked her if I could take a quick walk, because I felt restless. I had been very sweet and nice to the nurses so they let me do almost anything. I am guessing Aiden took a different route.

I slowly walked around, trying to wrap everything around my head. The hallways were almost empty, and dead quiet. My body was sore, but walking always calmed me. I began to hear music. Wonderful music, soothing me even more. I was not sure where I was going, but the music lead me to it. It was the song Hallelujah. A voice was singing, that made me well up with tears.

“Maybe there’s a God above. And all I ever learned from love. Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you. It’s not a cry you can hear at night.” His voice rose with the song, a I stood and listened outside his room.

“It’s not somebody who’s seen the light! It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah! Hallelujah,” he sang eight times, letting the last note ring out. I moved into the shadows and watched the nurse come in who had been crying by her station. She exited with the guitar, and I moved back to see Aiden sleeping.
I looked at his roommate. She was a very old lady, who had fallen asleep with a smile on her face. Aiden was thoughtful and caring. His music was just heard beyond simple music. His dream was already happening.

I still heard his voice in my head, and at that moment, I knew I loved him. I knew I wanted to be with him forever. I wanted him to sing me songs before I went to bed. I wanted to take care of him. I wanted to wrap my hands around his waist, and tell him his father would not touch him ever again. I wanted him to take me away from my own problems.

All these things I wanted, but could not have. Somehow, I would have to change that. Hallelujah to that.