Silent Voices Kill

Once upon a time, I lived a perfect life. I had everything I could ever dream of, I did well in school, I had an amazing boyfriend, and nothing could hurt me.

But life isn’t a fairy tale and you can’t always get what you want.

I am known as Shayde, but you don’t know me. No one knows me.

Welcome to my life.

I could feel him stirring. Great, now I have to deal with all of his thoughts bombarding me. Stupid boy.

He shuffled to the bathroom, still half asleep. He stripped out of his clothes and started the shower. Getting out a few minutes later, he slipped his pajama pants back on and brushed his teeth. Looking in the mirror, I stared back at him.

Why do you bother doing this every day? Nothing has changed. You’re still the fat, ugly boy you were yesterday.

“Shut up.”

I laughed.
Why should I listen to you? You’ll make stupid decisions and then where would we be? Out on the streets? Wait, go ahead, do whatever you want, but when you fuck up don’t whine and complain about it to me. I have no sympathy.

I could see the tears forming in his eyes.

Go ahead and cry you little piece of shit. No one wants you. No one will ever want you.

I could feel him being pushed over the edge. When he does, he’ll do something that puts me even more in control. Stupid boy.

He opened the medicine cabinet, reaching up to the top shelf. Feeling around, he pulled down a small, silver razor blade. Pressing it to his skin, I could see the red liquid ooze out of the fresh cut.

I smiled.

That’s a good boy, Xaden.

I could feel a small surge of happiness run through his body. He liked when I praised him.

He put the razor blade back in its place and pressed a towel to his wrist. Once the bleeding had stopped, he left the bathroom.

When he was back in his room, he started looking through his drawers for something to wear. Taking off his pajama pants he pulled a pair of black skinny jeans over his legs. He quickly pulled a shirt over his head. He grabbed his backpack off the floor and walked downstairs.

“Xaden, come here and eat some breakfast before you go to school. I hardly ever see you eat anymore.”

His mother was so annoying.

Have you looked at yourself lately? You don’t need that. You’re fat enough the way it is.

“Mom, I’m not hungry. I’m going to be late. I’ll see you after school.”

“Wait, Xaden. If you’re not going to sit down and eat, take this with you.”

She handed him a package of Poptarts.

Do you know how many calories are in those? You don’t need it. Throw them away.

No wonder he was fat. His mother fed him unhealthy foods.

Xaden walked out his front door, the package of Poptarts still in his hand. He kept looking at them longingly.

You don’t need them, Xaden. Just get rid of them.

After he had walked out of view of his house, he threw them as far away from him as he could.

That’s better, Xaden. You don’t need any of that.

The walk to school was boring. Xaden’s mind was blank; I couldn’t even ridicule him for something. He wasn’t thinking of doing anything.

This kid was going to drive me insane. That was ironic.

Considering I can only see what Xaden can see, I spent most of the walk staring at the ground in front of him. Would it kill him to look up once in a while? Probably.

Finally, we were almost there. As much as I hated to admit it, the torture of the classroom would be better than this.

I “knocked” on his brain.

Earth to Xaden. We’re at school. Shouldn’t you be thinking about the first day of school? You’re usually excited about any time that you can get out of the house. Not that I care, but you’re acting strange, even for you.

He didn’t respond. Not even a trace of one.

Today was going to be a long day and it hadn’t even started.

Welcome to the first day of Xaden’s junior year of high school. Welcome to the first day of another year of torture for Shayde.

Xaden, I really hate you.

I felt something with that one. I had struck a nerve. I could feel his jaw quivering.

Don’t cry you big baby. I had to snap you out of whatever trance you were in somehow. But really though, I do hate you.

We had finally reached the double doors to enter the school.

Any guesses as to what the first thing Xaden’s eyes landed on when he opened the doors.

No, it wasn’t the office that he should be going to.

And no, it wasn’t any of the “friends” he had finally made at the end of last year.

It wasn’t even any of the kids that beat him up on a daily basis for being gay.

It was a small, rather attractive boy who looked utterly lost.

Whoa! This year may have just gotten a bit more interesting.