Silent Voices Kill

Xaden stood there, frozen.

Stupid boy. Go talk to him or do something instead of standing here with your mouth hanging open.

He closed his mouth. That’s something at least. He took a few steps timidly but then he stopped again. If I could roll my eyes, I would. Xaden is the most irritating boy you will ever meet.

People are starting to stare, you know. You can’t keep standing here. I bet they’re all whispering about how fat you’ve gotten over the summer and how stupid you look standing here like an idiot. It’s a wonder you even made any friends. If I had a choice, I wouldn’t be here.

His chin started to quiver. Great, he’s going to cry.

Do you really want to cry here? Everyone will see you.

“I don’t care.”

Yes, you do. If you’re not going to talk to the mouth wateringly attractive new boy just go to the office and get your schedule for this semester. Anything would be an improvement over just standing here.

Xaden took another step. Finally, progress.

Xaden was still staring at the new boy like he was transfixed and took yet another step. The new boy glanced up from the sheet he was looking at and seemed to lock eyes with Xaden.

Whoa! He had to have the prettiest green eyes I have ever seen. His pale skin and jet black hair just made them stand out even more.

I saw the new boy blush under Xaden’s gaze before they both briefly glanced away.

It seemed to take the new boy noticing him to make him move. He walked the few feet to where the new boy was standing.

“Do you need some help?”

“Yeah. I don’t understand this map at all. I can’t seem to find where my locker is from here.”

“What’s your locker number?”

“Four hundred twenty six.”

“That’s right next to mine. Follow me, I’ll show you. I just have to stop in the office quick to get my new schedule. What’s your name?”

“Keegan. Do you know who that cute gay boy is? I heard some girls talking about him before you got here. I think they said his name was Xaden or something.”

“Yeah, I know him.”

“Are you friends with him?”

“No.”

“Oh. I was hoping you could introduce him to me. There weren’t any other gay kids at my other school. I was the only one.”

At this Xaden actually laughed. This boy could possibly be trouble.

“It’s kind of hard to be friends with myself.”

Cue the cutest blush to creep into the new boy’s face, which only made him more attractive. If that’s even possible, that is.

“Oh, well, now I feel foolish.”

“Don’t. I think you’re cute, too.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Mentally, I groaned. This kid is really starting to get on my last nerve. Ha! I’m sure he says that about me. Wait, I know he does. He thinks that every time I give him advice. Time to go bury myself in a hole so I don’t have to witness the rest of this massacre.

I tuned out the rest of the conversation. It was just too painful to bear witness to or to repeat.

Once the two boys parted ways and Xaden walked into his math class, I tuned back in to the world around him. Already time was dragging. It was going to be a long day.

We didn’t do much in any of Xaden’s classes. It was the first day back to school. Mostly we got the textbook for the class and went over the syllabus. He didn’t have any work to do when he got home, thankfully. Xaden got cranky when he had a lot of homework to complete.

After school was even worse than before it. Keegan found us as soon as Xaden stepped away from his locker and attached to us like a leech. Well, Keegan doesn’t know about me yet, which to most would seem like a blessing. I, on the other hand, would hope if he found out I existed, he run for the hills and never look back. For as attractive as he is, there is some part of his personality that grates on my brain and leaves migraines in his wake.

I know, I know. Technically, I don’t have my own brain, but there just seems to be something off about that kid. If I never see Keegan again, it will be too soon.

Unfortunately for me, Xaden decided Keegan was someone he wanted to keep around for a few hours today, at least. He invited him to come over.

The walk home seemed to take three times as usual with the chatter from these boys.

Xaden opened the door. “Mom, I’m home. I have someone I want you to meet.”

His mother had been in the kitchen. She walked to the living room, wiping her hands on a towel.

“Hello. I’m Xaden’s mother, but you can call me Jane.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Keegan paused as if debating whether to call her Jane or be more formal before he continued, “Jane. I’m Keegan.”

“He’s new at our school this year.”

“Well, it’s I think it’s wonderful you’re making him feel welcome at his new school Xaden. Keegan, will you be staying for supper?”

“That would be lovely. Do you have a phone I could use to call my parents?”

“Certainly. Xaden will show you where it is. We’re having lemon-pepper chicken.”

Xaden led Keegan to the phone and went to put his bag in his room, giving him some privacy.

Lemon-pepper chicken. Think of what that is going to do to your thighs. I shudder at the thought.

“Do shut up. I like lemon-pepper chicken.”

So, you’re going to eat and have everything you’ve been doing be for nothing, then.

“It won’t be for nothing. People are starting to notice how small I’m getting and how I never eat anything in front of them.”

They’re just being mean. They don’t have to do anything to be skinny. You have to work for it.

Xaden’s back was to the door and neither of us had noticed that Keegan slipped in.

“Work for it? Working for it would be going to the gym or working out. What I’m doing is torture.”

Being skinny is something to be proud of. You want people to think you’re attractive. They won’t if you’re fat. And about that boy Keegan, he’s trouble. I don’t like him. There’s something weird about him that I don’t completely trust.

“You’re the one who even told me to go talk to Keegan and now you’re telling me you don’t like him. What is wrong with you? I swear you’re bi-polar.”

We heard a sharp intake of breath that alerted us to Keegan’s presence. “Who are you talking to? Why are you saying these things? Do you not like me?”

Xaden hesitated. He didn’t want Keegan to know about me. I guess, I can’t blame him. Hearing voices in your head isn’t usually a good characteristic to have.

“Who am I talking to? My head. He calls himself Shayde. I’m saying them because it’s easier to get out my frustration with him if I actually speak. He can hear my thoughts so I wouldn’t have to, but it helps me that way. Of course I like you. Shayde doesn’t.”

You just had to go and open your mouth and bring me into the open didn’t you. If he doesn’t run screaming from the house, he’s going to call some psychiatrist and tell them you’re crazy.

“Shayde, you don’t know what Keegan’s going to do now that he knows about you. Just shut up and let me think.”

Just look at him. He looks terrified.

“I know he does, God. I’m the one who made him look like that.”

Xaden collapsed on the edge of his bed, burying his head in his hands, silently crying into them. After a few minutes after the tears had stopped flowing, Xaden looked up to see whether Keegan was still there or if he had, as I predicted, run from the house.

Keegan was gone.