Silent Voices Kill

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I could feel Xaden stirring at the sound of his alarm. I am so not ready to deal with him yet. Like he did every morning, he crawled out of bed and walked into the bathroom. Turning on the shower, he stepped out of his pajamas and walked inside.

Once he was back in his room, he paused in front of his full length mirror.

Look at your thighs. I told you it was a bad idea to eat the chicken last night. You never listen to me when it’s essential for you to have done so. You disgust me.

I could see tears welling up in his eyes. Not again.

You would want to cry. You are such a baby. Only, people actually like babies, unlike you.

“I hate you.”

I’m not too fond of you either. Now, if you don’t hurry up, you’re going to be late for school. Not that I care, but your mom might come up here and see all your fat hanging out since you’re not wearing clothes.

I paused for a moment.

Oh, and I can’t forget this. We won’t get to see the look on Keegan’s face when you come into class. I can picture it now. Pure utter terror. Priceless.

I could see and feel him breaking. So, of course, I did something that really would push him off the edge.

Everyone would be better off if you weren’t around. You should just end all our suffering. Why can’t you just die already?

That was it and I knew it. Tears running down his face, he ran to the bathroom and reached in the medicine cabinet for his razor.

I saw the blade slice his skin. As blood welled up and started dripping down his arm, I saw him put the blade down on the edge of the sink.

That tiny little cut isn’t going to do anything. It just makes you look weak.

I really didn’t want Xaden around; although, if he died, I might die, too. I was willing to take that risk. It’s not like I had my own body or anything.

Do it. You know everyone would feel better if you were gone. You would even feel better if you were gone. There would be no more crying yourself to sleep at night because you don’t have friends. Just one more good slice up your arm. Make it count. Everyone will thank you in the end.

Xaden was full on sobbing by now and if I could have smiled, I would have. I must be a sick and twisted individual for wanting him dead. I mean, I probably will cease to exist when he does, but I didn’t care.

I waited for him to pick up the razor again. It took him a few seconds, more like thirty, but who’s really counting?

Do it. You know you should. You know you want to. Make yourself bleed. I want to see you on the floor.

And he did. It was almost agonizingly slow. Too slow for me, anyway. I could feel his thoughts starting to get fuzzy as I watched his blood drip slowly to the floor.

He reached to grab a towel. I could hear him thinking.

‘I need to stop bleeding.’

If you grab that towel, that’s it. You won’t get any more chances at happiness. I won’t help you. No one will help you.

He still hesitated. I knew he still wanted to press the towel to his flesh, to try and make the blood flow stop. Would it work? Probably not, but I wasn’t going to tell him that. I wanted him to suffer. I wanted him to feel every last bit of pain I could make him feel.

Once more, that is all it will take. Do it Xaden. Make everyone happy.

I didn’t think he was going to do it this time. I really didn’t. He was already getting dizzy. He couldn’t take much more.

“I can’t…”

But you can. You just don’t want to. You’re a scared, weak, little boy, just like you’ve always been, just like you always will be.

He picked up the razor one more time. I could see his hand shaking this time. His conscious was slowly fading away into oblivion.

Where it should have always been.

Where it should always be.

Xaden started to press the razor to his skin, mirroring the one he just cut. The slice was quicker this time, but still seemed slow.

Maybe I’m losing consciousness with him.

Maybe I deserve it.

His thoughts were fading quickly now. I could see the three fresh cuts oozing blood onto the white tile floor. Small puddles were starting to form.

For once, even I felt happy, at peace, even.

I would praise you, but it would make no difference.

Xaden crumbled to the floor, unconscious from blood loss.