Please Just Let Me Go

I yawned as I came back into my bedroom after pulling on some pants,washing my face and brushing my teeth. Paul had called me a while ago asking if he could come over. I remembered squinting because the sun was coming into my room brightly through the curtains and turning over and mumbling a "yeah".
I rubbed my eyes and plopped down on my bed, and laid myself down. When I heard a clatter I immediately sat up and looked toward the sound and almost screamed when I saw Paul coming through my window.
I know he heard me gasp like some pathetic damsel in distress but, he didn't look up at me. I watched as he got his body in and dusted off his jeans. When he looked up at me I notice he had a huge bruise on his face.
"Holy shit! you look like hell." I said without thinking. Instinctively I crawled toward him. My heart pounded in my chest as worry consumed my emotions. He looked up at me slowly, a sad look was plastered on his face." I blushed out of embarrassment.
"Wow, thanks." He said sarcastically.
"Sorry, what the hell happened to you?" I asked I slowly get off the bed approaching him as I fiddle with my fingers.
"Nothing?" he said tilting his face downwards.
"Really? Nothing happened? That's why you called me at 8 in the morning asking me to come over. Tell me what happened." I crossed my arms around my chest and he slowly looked up at me again.
"I got jumped." he said and them tilted his face in shame. Okay I thought as I covered my mouth. I want to laugh so bad. How did a big guy like Paul get beaten up?
"Are you laughing right now!" he asked suddenly with a with and angry expression but he was holding back a smile.
"No, this is serious." I said as I glanced away from him.
I grinned behind my palm. Instead of laughing uncontrollably like I wanted to I took Paul's hand and lead him to my bed. I sat down and got under the covers.
"So tell me what happened?"
Paul went on telling me this ridiculous story about how he was walking around in Port Angeles and these thugs came up and asked for his wallet. When he denied, (Yes he denied because he's Paul) they beat him up, took his wallet and left him on the ground.
"I'm sorry that happened." I said sincerely. It's funny that a guy as big as him got beaten up, it's a reminder to me that he's still human and not a huge man giant.
I scooted closer to him and hugged him,hoping that would make the frown on his face go away. He hugged me back tightly. He pulled away first but kept his arms around my waist and stared at me. I started at the bruise at the side of his face and it actually didn't look as bad anymore, I squinted at it. Weird.
"You know what will make me feel better?" he said as he kissed my lips. I pulled away and pushed his face back.
"Did you wake me up at 8 in the morning to make out with me?"
"Do you want more then that?"
I groaned and rolled my eyes.
"What is wrong with you?" I asked seriously as I wrapped my arms around my chest again. I would be lying if I said I didn't want to kiss him,but the way he puts it makes it sound bad.
"I got jumped." he said with a grin, this time he pointed to the bruise. I rolled my eyes again.
"You are so stupid." I say as I brought my lips to his again.
"Oh now you want me," he said mockingly as I straddled him I unwrapped my arms from around his neck and glared at him.
"Kidding." he said as he kissed my lips again.
After a few minutes things got a little out of hand, and my shirt was being removed. Paul kissed my neck lovingly as I squeezed my eyes shut. He started to leave butterfly kisses down to my collarbone and slid his hand down my arm. When his arms stroked my wrist he stopped and pinned my wrist to the bed.
I looked up at him, and he was staring down at my wrist with a confused look on his face. My heart began to pound even harder as I tried to tug back my wrist. I felt my face flush and my ears felt hot. My scar.
"What are these?" Paul asked as pulled me up and brought both of my wrist closer to his face.
"Nothing." I said sharply.
"Let go of me." I jerked at my wrist and he let go. We sat there awkwardly for a while not saying anything. Both of us shirtless, me in my bra. I brought my knees to my chest and ignored his gaze.
"You should leave, my Mom is about to get up and she'll come in here." I lied. I felt Paul's gaze on me a little longer. He didn't say anything, the bed creaked when he got up and he disappeared out my window. I sighed and lay on my stomach with my face in my arms. I guess it's back long sleeved and fingerless gloves. I subconsciously stroked the marks.
They were the only scars that didn't disappear after a while. They were a nasty reminder of what I tried to do. I looked down at the pink bumpy scars.
I remember the day I got them, or should I say gave myself these scars. I had enough of it, I was at my last straw. I had convinced myself that my Mom didn't care about me, she was letting me get hurt by her husband, she acted like he met more to her than her own daughter.
I sat in my bedroom blasting my music. It was the only place I felt safe. I don't remember what song was playing because that didn't matter at the moment. I knew Lucas would be upset but, he'd get over it in time. At least this way I would get to my Dad.
I touched the blade to the inside of my wrist and quickly opened the skin. I did the same to my other and sighed anxiously. I lay on my bed with my arms spread out beside me and waited.
After a while I began to feel lightheaded, I looked over at my phone that was vibrating on my nightstand. I started to think back to the lame note I left on Lucas's windshield. It read this:
Hi Lucas,
I just can't take it anymore. I'll see you when your old and crusty.
-Teddy
My eyelids started to feel heavy and I wanted badly to sleep I closed my eyes giving into the eternal rest. My eyes shut and after that I heard a slam along with a scream. It took a lot of me to open my eyes again. I saw Lucas he looked like he was glowing, like an angel. He screamed again and he ran toward me and put his hand under my head and pulled me to his chest.
Tears dripped down his face as I watched his mouth move without any noise coming out. Then I closed my eyes and I was gone. Well I thought I was.
I flinched when my phone rang the annoying Nokia tune, I knew who it was because I usually customized everyone's number with a song. Since I didn't know Black I didn't bother to. I quickly stored those memories away for later. Now I got myself thinking, what happened exactly to the house after we left.
"Hello," I said a bit to softly. I cleared my throat.
"Hey Teddy," Black voice said cheerfully
"Hey," I said as I glanced at the clock on the wall it was about 11 now.
"I got your message."
I rolled over onto my back and stared up at the ceiling.
"Sorry about ditching you." Jacob paused on the other line for a moment.
"It's fine." he said
"I was thinking today we could go to the junkyard, and you know look for parts."
I sat up and pulled my blanket up to my chest since it was chilly because the window was still open and I felt weird talking on the phone in bra.
"Uh sure." I said easily
"I'll come pick you up in an hour." he said
"Sure,bye." When he said bye I hung up and laid back down with a sigh. I don't want to think about it but I can't stop myself. What happened to the house and the body? That question had been itching the back of my brain for a while. But, I'm to afraid to ask Lucas about it.
Maybe a relationship wasn't a good idea for me. I gathered my towel and headed to the bathroom. I stepped into the shower and turned the water on so it was cold. I began to scrub soap onto my skin. I have to many secrets that I am not willingly to share.
After a while I decided it was time to get out of the shower . I wrapped the towel around myself and made my way for my room shivering slightly.
I quickly got dressed and headed downstairs because I heard my mother getting ready.
"Hi," I mumbled as I searched the fridge for some food.
"Hey." She said quickly as she grabbed her phone from the table.
"Late again?" I ask as I close the fridge to look at her.
"No if I don't leave now then I will be late." She kissed my cheek. "I'll talk to you later Peluche." Then she dashed out the house. I listen for the door to slam before I open the fridge door again. I actually wasn't that hungry after what happened with Paul. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to fix it either.
"Mornin'" I heard a voice say. I jumped and closed the fridge door and looked up at Leah she gave me a smile.
"Hey." I said straightening my back a little. I wanted to grow a relationship with Leah because she looks like someone who didn't take any bullshit, just like me. I smiled at her as she approached me. Your trying to hard Teddy, a voice said in my head.
"I'm just going to get some cereal." she said as I moved out of her way as she reached on top of the fridge for the Trix cereal.
"I'll take a bowl too." I said suddenly. She nodded and moved toward the cupboards to grab bowls. I opened the fridge and grabbed the gallon of milk when I turned around Leah had already helped her self to some cereal and handed the box to me. I trade it with the gallon and pour myself a generous amount and look over at Leah who is leaving the room.
Crap, I lost my chance. Leah turned around after a moment and looked at me.
"Wanna watch some TV with me?" She asked with a mouth full of Trix.
"Sure." I said as I poured myself some milk. She nodded before going into the living room. After she left the room I quickly put the gallon in the the fridge, grabbed myself a spoon and walked slowly into the living room so I wouldn't spill my cereal.
I decided to sit on the couch with Leah that was directly facing the TV. She has just turned it on and was surfing the channels. I sat at the far end and crossed my legs and put them beside me and rested the bowl on my thigh. I leaned against the arm rest and locked eyes on the television.
She settled for Criminal Minds and then she began to dig into her cereal. We ate in silence for a moment until Leah spoke up.
"I think it's stupid that the people who get kidnapped come out alive." She said gesturing to the blonde who was one of the Special Agents who was kidnapped.
"I know, so predictable." I chimed in as swallowed. "And you can tell how much the nerd one likes her." I added as I watched him freak out.
"Yeah and she will never love him that way." I quickly glanced over at her. Did I just here that coming out of Leah's mouth? She had a far away look in her eyes. I cleared my throat.
"Uh yeah." I said after a moment.
"How do you even deal with Paul?" Leah asked suddenly. I turned my head to look at her and placed another spoon of food in my mouth as I stared into her brown eyes.
"I dunno." I said shrugging as I chewed and swallowed. I didn't want to think about him right now.
"Doesn't he give you-" "headaches" we said simultaneously.
We laughed for a moment and I thought it was weird seeing a smile on her face, but it looked good on her.
"You have a pretty smile Leah." I said honestly. She narrowed her eyes at me for a moment before laughing again.
"Okay.' then she laughed. I laughed along with her.
"Were moving." I suddenly blurted out.
"What?" Leah asked after a moment as she placed her bowl of milk on to the table and turned to look at me. "Why,where, when?"
"Who?" I said as I grinned as my heart pounded in my chest. You told her this because? My conscience asked me.Leah rolled her eyes. "Seriously?"
"My mom wants to move out of here, so we can get our own place. We'll still be in Washington though."
"Oh." Leah sighed as she rested her back on to the sofa and her expression relaxing
"What would you miss me?" I asked teasing as sipped the milk out the bowl.
"Yeah, your my cousin. I have to, your the only... I can't say normal,but the only girl I actually want to talk to."
I smiled at her again. "I'm not sure if that was a compliment or not but, okay."
"It was." she said as she glanced over at the TV.
"Then, thanks."
We watched TV for a moment in silence. A comfortable silence to and it felt good . A Direct TV commercial came on and it was telling us how easy it is to get your cable to your new house when you move. I should probably tell Mom about that.
I flinched when Leah groaned loudly.
"You don't know how badly I want to leave this house, even the state if I could."
"Why can't you?" I asked as as I sat up more to look at her. "You are old enough."
Leah gave me a sad smile."Yeah but, I can't leave my Mom and Seth and-" Leah stopped mid sentence, and as if she hadn't said anything she turned her head back to the TV. My eyebrows furrowed, then and idea struck me.
"Maybe you can move in with us." I said as I offered her a sly smile.
"Yeah? You think your mom will agree to that?" I watched Leah's eyes sparkle with happiness.
"Yeah we'll need help paying rent and stuff. I'm going to get a job at the bookstore!"
Leah smiled at me before her head jerked toward the window to her right and rolled her eyes. She glanced over at me again and smiled. " I would like that."
"Yeah me too." I said as I set the bowl on the table. I felt all warm inside and I think I am just glad I'm making a bond with my cousin as strange as it seems.
"Just don't tell Sue."
"I wouldn't dream of it." She said as she smiled at me. After that was said the doorbell rang and I glanced at the door. I subconsciously cracked my knuckles and licked my lips as I started to stand and answer the door. It was probably Black.
"I'll get it." Leah said.
"Nah it's okay I will." I stood up before she could and walked into the kitchen and down the hall to answer the door. When I opened the door, I quickly looked up to find his eyes. He wore a black sweatshirt, light blue jeans and converse.
"Hey," he said with an easy smile. I glanced away from his stare feeling really uncomfortable.
"What, are you trying to steal my soul?" I asked as I peeked a look at him. To my dismay he laughed I rolled my eyes. He had a cute laugh though, I stared at him until he stopped.
"Look, if were going to be working on these cars together we need to get along." When I didn't answer he spoke again.
"You ready to go?"
"Yeah, let me say goodbye to Leah." he narrowed his eyes at me. "Your friends with her?"
I glared at him. "She's my cousin stupid."I spat and glared at him a moment longer before I entered the house again and looked at Leah who lay on the couch with her long legs curled up to her chest.
"I'm going out." I said quickly "I'll talk to you later."
"Yeah I heard about your car." she said waving her hand at me.
"Who hasn't?" I mumbled as I began to leave the room.
"Your mom." she shouted.
"Shhhh!" I shouted back as I turned around to look at her again.
"Bye Teddy." she said I couldn't see her face but I could she was smiling.
"Bye." I mumble and I turned around again to make my way out of the house.