Can We Give It One More Try?

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*Jared's P.O.V.*

"Come on Jared, open the door", Jensen begged, pounding on the hotel room door.

Confining myself inside there, and locking him out, I didn't want to reply. I didn't want a single word to pass from my lips. Keeping my placement in the chair I was occupying, I just listened to his pleading voice.

"Jared! Don't make get hotel security to open this door for me", he threatened.

I knew he was trying to scare me into letting him in. He fucked up and he knew that. It was his mistake, and not mine.

"Let me make it up to you, I didn't understand how you felt, and I was confused by it all. I'm sorry for what I'd done".

I wasn't sure if I could trust those words, or if they were really sincere enough for me to forgive and forget. My heart raged for me to forgive him with the utmost sympathy. But how could I trust that it wouldn't be broken or burned again? Jensen just didn't seem to understand the concept of how I felt for him, or how tangled my emotions were with him.

** I won't talk,
I won't breathe.
I won't move 'till you finally see.
That you belong with me..**

"Talk to me, at least once. Please".

I felt the emotions fighting one another inside me. Part of me wanted to release it all with tears, and the other part wanted to open that door for a face to face confrontation. Leaning forward in the chair, I kept my feet placed on the floor and forced myself to stand up from the chair. In a matter of a few steps, I was at the door, having a debating battle on whether or not to open it.

** You might think,
That I don't look.
But deep inside the corner of my mind.
I'm attached to you..**

"Jared.. Please.."

Pressing my palms against the door, the tears welled up in my eyes. I wanted to touch him again, and I knew I could if I open the door. But opening that door meant forgiving without a fight. My head became rested against the door as well, putting my forehead against it. The tears became exposed and I was sobbing lightly against it, hoping that maybe he could hear how upset I was.

"Do you know what you're doing to me?", I spoke, releasing soft cries in the words.

"Jared, you have to let me apologize. Please, I'll make it all up to you", he returned.

"It's not that simple", I cried.

"Life's not simple, I know. Nothing can ever be simple. But you can make this easier on both of us. You can let me in, and you can give me another shot", he stated.

He made it seem like it would be the easiest thing to do with giving him another chance. He made it seem that with a snap of my fingers, everything would be erased and that my heart would be healed. He made it seem as though I'd forget how I caught him kissing some girl in a bar. Yes, a kiss. Why such a big deal? I'm sure you're wondering. He was committed. Not to her, but to me, and he knew that clearly when it happened. He wasn't under the influence, so he had no pathetic excuse to attempt to hide himself behind. He kissed another person while sober. While I was there. And there was no way I was letting that slide. Not that easily. I had stayed away from him for over a weeks time, and each day, it ate away at me a little more. Every message he left, begging me to listen to his explanation, hurt me to even hear his voice.

** I'm weak.
It's true.
'Cause I'm afraid to know the answer.
Do you want me, too?
'Cause my heart keeps falling fast..**

"It's not that easy to just..give you another chance", I retorted. "Don't you get that?".

A sigh escaped him.

"Yes, I get that. But it can be that easy. You just have to let me in".

"You don't understand", I replied, pulling my head from the door.

"Yes, I do. We need to talk about this, Jared, or nothing will be resolved. You need to let me in".

"Why? So you can tell me what I already know?".

"What you THINK you know. You don't know the whole story", he responded.

"I saw you kissing another person while with me! What the fuck else do I need to know? You don't love me", I snapped.

"I DO love you! And you aren't making this easier on either one of us. We need to talk".

I didn't want to let him in. I didn't want to see him. Because I knew the instant that door opened, and I saw his face, I'd become weak at his charm again. The fact that I also knew I'd be an emotional wreck in his arms since I had been consuming alcoholic beverages the entire evening didn't settle with me either.

"Please. I'm only asking this one more time. Give me one more chance. If I blow it, we never have to speak again. Please Jared", he pleaded once again.

My hands became removed from the door and only my right hand made contact with the door knob. Unlocking the door, I began to debate once more. Should I? Or shouldn't I?

** I've waited all my life.
To cross this line.
To the only thing that's true.
So I will not hide.
It's time to try.
Anything to be with you.
All my life, I've waited.
This is true.. **

Twisting the handle, I felt it fully release the door from being held down. Pulling it back, the door opened and my eyes met his green eyes. He had tears in his eyes as well, but not as much as I had, nor had he appeared to really shed any. His lips formed into a soft smile and I knew I'd be suckered in instantly.

"This is no time for smiles", I hissed, wiping the tears away from my eyes with my left hand.

He was quick to rid himself of that smile after those words.

"I can't help it. I'm just glad to see you", he responded.

"That's a bunch of bull", I scuffed, turning my back to him.

Walking away, I knew he had trailed inside because the door closed immediately.

"Why don't you believe me? I haven't seen you or even talked to you in over a weeks time. I still love you", he spoke.

Turning back to face him, we instantly made eye contact.

"The reason I don't believe you is because if you really loved me, you wouldn't have kissed some bitch while being committed to me! That's why, Jensen!", I shouted.

"It was a mistake, Okay. At least I can be man enough to admit those mistakes I've made. That's gotta stand for something Jared, and you know damn well it does", he snapped back.

"If you were man enough, you wouldn't have made the mistake in the first place!", I yelled.

I knew I got him by that comment. His face expressed that all.

** You don't know.
What you do,
Every time you walk into the room.
I'm afraid to move.. **

"Look, you're right, okay. I made the biggest mistake of my life. I was wrong. But everyone makes mistakes", he redeemed.

"Not cheating mistakes. And that's one of the worst. You know that just as much as I do. You kissed her while sober. You have no stupid excuse of being intoxicated, or that any substance was screwing with your head. You wanted to kiss her, and you knew it".

His head hung down directly after that comment, and I knew I was right.

"I knew it..", I said, feeling another tear escape.

I turned myself away from him, and headed straight to the bedroom. I didn't know if he would follow or not, but I knew he had a lot more to consider now. As I got into the room, I headed for the bed, placing myself on the right side that faced the door. I waited to see if he would make the move to try and explain his apology still and his side of what happened. It didn't need to be explained. I saw the kiss, in the flesh, and that was enough evidence for me. Moments later, a shadow appeared in the doorway of the dim lit bedroom. The only light on was a small lamp, used almost for what could be considered a night light, next to the bed on the night stand.

"Jared.. I did want to kiss her. It's true. But I, in no way, wanted to or want to be with her romantically", he confessed.

"Either way, you wanted to kiss her, and you followed through with that, didn't you?", I replied.

"Yes, I did. I kissed her. But.."

"But what?", I interrupted. "Just because you didn't want a romantic following with her doesn't make it any less wrong. Why did you want to kiss her though? Am I just not good enough? Do you want a woman? Because if so, tell me now, so I won't bother with this bullshit relationship", I drilled.

"I'm not saying any of that! You are good enough, and no, I don't want a woman. I only did it because.. I needed to save my reputation".

"What reputation? Oh, the fact that you're a hot, television hunk, and you need to keep that sex appeal open for the ladies right?", I intervened.

"Jared.. don't you think our fan base would change if people knew we were more than friends?", he questioned.

"Maybe. But who gives a fuck. I want you to love me, not be uncomfortable"

"I'm not uncomfortable".

"Then why do you act as though you're ashamed to be with me?! You don't want any gay rumors, and your fan base is more important to you than your relationship with me? That's what you're trying to say, isn't it? Fans aren't always going to be there, but the person that loves you, with all their heart and soul, will be.. And that's me Jensen. Not the fans", I said, making it clear.

He had two choices. The fans, or me, and he knew that.

"You know.. You're absolutely right, Jared. And I'm sorry. Can't you accept that?", he asked, sympathetically.

"No.. No, not until I know why. You didn't and you don't just kiss some girl for your fan reputation. You shouldn't give a damn about your reputation. You should be concerned with loving me".

"I made a mistake. I thought she was attractive, and I don't know, alright? But I kissed her and I felt horrible. I knew I fucked up. Isn't that what you want to hear? I messed it all up, and I knew I blew everything. When I saw you storm out of the bar, I knew that everything I had with you, came to a crashing halt. I knew it all before any of this, and I instantly regretted that moment. You don't even know how bad I felt, or how much I was beating myself up because of this. I regret it, and I will every day of my life. But I'd never, ever regret the day I met you, or the day I fell in love with you", he confessed.

** I'm weak,
It's true.
I'm just scared to know the ending.
Do you see me too?
Do you even know you met me?..**

My emotions were in full blown chaos at this point. I wanted to believe every word he said, because of the fact that he was crying now as well. He was showing that raw emotion to me, not to mention rare emotion. Jensen wasn't the kind of guy to cry at anything, so I knew this was having a major effect on him.

"Please, you have to believe me Jared", he spoke, grabbing my right hand and holding it in both of his hands. "I love you, with everything I have and every ounce of my soul. You made me realize that love is a beautiful thing, but when you lose it, life is never the same. Everything feels less real, and things just get darker. Nothing is the same any day of the week. You have to believe me on this", he begged.

He instantly got onto both of his knees in front of me as I sat there on the bed an emotional sobbing wreck.

"I want to.. so bad, but, I'm so afraid of getting hurt again. I can't spend each day like that, or live in fear of having you do this to me ever again. It should have never happened.. and now that it has, it has changed everything between us, but I'm sure you know that", I said, trying to control my sobs.

"I know it has. It's changed everything drastically. And it's all because I screwed up. I'm pissed at myself and have been since that night. I love you Jared, and only you. And if I don't get you back, I would understand why.. But that doesn't mean that I'd ever stop loving you, because I wouldn't. No one could ever replace you, or shown me what you have".

He was officially crying just as badly as I was, and I just knew deep down, that he meant all of this. His hands left mine as he then placed them on my thighs, touching mine as he then placed them on my thighs, touching the fabric of my jeans, but radiating heat between our bodies. Feeling that touch instantly melted me, and I was falling for him all over again.

** I've waited all my life,
To cross this line.
To the only thing that's true.
So I will not hide..
It's time to try.
Anything to be with you.
All my life I've waited.
This is true..**

"It's so hard to trust you", I replied.

"I understand that, but you can trust me. I would never put you through this ever again, because I know I'd be hurting myself equally. I never want to lose you again, You're too important to me".

I was trying so hard to resist that urge to touch him back, but I felt that need to. I watched as he pulled himself up to his feet once again, and removed his hands from my upper thighs. But he didn't keep any distance. His hands became placed palms down on the mattress right next to me, making it to where he was leaning over me. In that moment, I brought both my hands up and touched his face so gently, feeling that smooth skin that I had been longing to touch for over a weeks time. Our eyes met as we kept our faces so close to one anthers. So close we could hear and feel one another breathing. His tongue slid across his lips, moistening them like he knew the kiss was coming.

"Jensen, I love you.. And I need you so bad right now. I want you back, but I'm still scared", I spoke, bumping my nose against his.

We were getting closer to our lips meeting and I knew that was what I wanted.

"Don't be scared. I'll never make that mistake ever again. I promise you this".

I would always hold him to that promise, and I was positive he knew that. My hands held onto his face, still feeling his flesh, but instantly, I pressed my lips to his. Touching his lips again was like a drug. I was suckered in and there was no turning back. Our mouths were caressing one another's like crazy, and as if we couldn't control it. This was the action I needed, and I couldn't deny it. I wanted this to go on forever, but we both backed away after almost a minutes worth of kissing, just to catch our breaths. That second we backed away, our eyes met once more and we were both in ecstasy.

"Are you sure this is what you want?", he panted, in question.

Resting my forehead against his, I closed my eyes and just continued to regain my composure. I knew he wanted an answer and I knew exactly what to say.

"Yes..", I whispered. "It's what I want".

He pulled away and my eyes opened upon that release. All he was doing was staring back at me, but I could see it in his eyes, he wanted it too.

"Does this mean..", he stopped.

I got the drift of what he was making reference to and nodded as a response.

"Yeah.. It means just that..", I then spoke, making my answer clear.

Our relationship was back on with that spoken word, and I knew it just as much as he did. A smile spread across his lips so lightly as I felt myself beginning to smile again like I used to when I was with him.

"I'll never hurt you again, Jared".

My right thumb slipped across his skin, wiping away the glistening tear that had streamed down his face from his left eye. His hands left the mattress as he began to stand upright again. My hands slid from his face and became rested on my own thighs.

** I know when I go.
I'll be on my way to you.
The way that's true..**

"I missed you Jared."

Both of us got onto the bed, undressing ourselves at a slow pace, and just taking it all in with being with each other again. It seemed like a dream to me, only because I dreamed about being back with him for that entire week. But this was reality. And I could finally be happy again, and I felt that my trust could be put back in him. He knew he had messed up, and he would never do it again. As long as he knew I loved him and would always be there for him, it was all he needed. As he straddled my lap while on the bed, he rested his hands on my shoulders, and our eyes met again, as we began to have a semi-stare down.

"Jared.."

"Yes?".

"I missed you so much. I missed these moments between us.. I missed being with you every day.. I missed touching you..".

"Jensen?", I interrupted.

"What?".

"Stop talking and kiss me then", I demanded.

And he did just that. Our lips connected again, and we began to sprawl ourselves out on the bed instantly after. We were ready to share that intimate moment again, knowing that this time around, it'd mean so much more to our relationship, and that this would be the moment that everything felt real again between us. As much as I wanted to refuse to give in, I did, and I knew I would. He was real with his words. I trusted him. He trusted me.. And that was all we needed..

** I've waited all my life.
To cross that line.
To the only thing that's true.
So I will not hide.
It's time to try.
Anything to be with you..
All my life I've waited..
This is true..**

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THE END!