The Father I Never Wanted is the Person I've Always Needed

I ignored Zack taking another hit of my cigarette. “You know you really are just like him.” I glared at him.

“I am nothing like that man and if I was I’d kill my self.”

He sighed. “did you know that your all he’s talk about for that last week?”

I laughed bitterly. “Oh yeah, what about that last sixteen years of my life? Did he talk about me then?” I glanced over at him. “I didn’t think so.”

“The man is really trying and your making this a lot harder for the two of you than it has to be.”

I glared at him know dropping my cigarette. “Yeah well if he would had decided to be a dad years ago none of this would be happening.”

He nodded. “Yeah, your right but he didn’t but he is now.”

“Well now’s not good enough for me.” I shook my head. “How would you feel if you were in my shoes? Would you just pretend like everything’s okay and be a ‘family’ with a man that you had to learn about on the internet?” I laughed “And he decided me the fucking bastered denied having any kids which I take very insulting seeing as I’m standing right here.”

Zacky stared at me for a long minute. “You can try and act like you don’t care about anything and you can act like you don’t need him but I see right threw you. I can see the pain in your eyes and I can see how much he affects you.”

I glared at him “Why do you see threw this.” I flipped him off before turning away from him and headed for the street I’m pretty sure I know my way back to their house and I wasn’t going to let this fucker try to read me like he knew me that’s the problem here they don’t fucking know me.

“Where you do think your going little girl?” Zack was starting to get on my nerves.

“If you haven’t noticed I’m not a fucking little girl anymore so why don’t you go mind your own damn business you old man!” I pulled my cell phone out and dialed the his number. It only rang once before I heard his voice. “Sophia, where the fuck are you? The party started hours ago.”

“You wont believe me if I told you but that’s why I’m calling I’m not going to be able to make it their anytime soon.”

“What’s going on honey?”

“They fucking sent me to live with my father that’s what’s going on, they let him take me way after all this time.” I wasn’t going to give him the power of making me cry over him I wasn’t going to cry over someone who didn’t care about me.

“Awe do you want me to come kick all there asses and bring you home?” I giggled at the thought of that Gavin was my very best friend who was also gay, “I don’t think you would be able to you would be to busy drooling all over yourself for that.”

I could hear the party that was going on around him. “But I’m going to let you go Gavin have a few drinks for me babe I love you.”

“I love you to don’t forget what I said.”

I laughed “I wont bye.” I hung up with a sigh. It was the beginning of the summer and here I was in a place I didn’t know with no one to hang with, I could really go for a drink right now. Don’t get me wrong I’m not one of them party girls who cant seem to go anywhere without a drink in her hand but when my life was stressed I would go over to Gavin’s and he would throw an awesome parties.

I put my phone back in my bag and sighed. “Sophia!” her voice scared me she had stopped the car and was now running across the street to me. “What the fuck do you think your doing it is to dark for you to be walking back to the house!”

I rolled my eyes at her and kept walking. “Go back and eat Val I’ll be fine really.”

“If your ass isn’t in my car in one minute I’m going to call Matt and have him come take care of you and I know that’s something you don’t want and I don’t want to do it but if you take one more step I promise on everything that I love I will.”

I turned and glared at her. “Fine but I never seen you as the bitch type Valary but I guess I was wrong.” I knew that I was the one being a bitch but there was something about the way everyone thought they could boss me around now was really pissing me off.

When she got in the car she didn’t turn around like I thought she would, She drove me back to the house in silence. I didn’t even give her time to stop the car before I jumped out slamming the door behind me. once she had the front door unlocked I ran strait up to my room slamming the door shut and locking it behind me I quickly changed into my pj’s and opened my bedroom window and claimed out on the rough. This time I didn’t hold back the tears I just let them fall. I wasn’t crying for my father I knew that these tears were tears of anger. They were for my grandma who I know cried her heart out in my papa’s arms after I left. These tears where for Gavin who I didn’t even get to say goodbye to but most of all these tears were for the little girl inside of me who wished her dad would have been there when she really needed him not know when she can take care of herself.

I don’t know how long I sat up there but the slamming of a car door knocked me out of my thoughts.

“Why the fuck didn’t I go after her myself? I’m the one that made this mess and now Val is in our room crying her eyes out. This is not how I thought this was going to be.”

“I know man but did you really think she was going to run to you with open arms?” Zack’s voices shocked me. “She’s hurt more then she’s letting you think she is there more to her then she wants you to see. She don’t want to get hurt if she lets you in, did you not see the pain in her eyes tonight because I sure the hell did.”

“I know but she wouldn’t even look at me and when she did there was so much hatred in the girl that the only thing I could see was her mother.” That put a flicker of anger into me. I quickly claimed back into my room and shut the window loudly and I fucking hope he heard it. I’m nothing like that women at least I got a drunken phone call on my birthday, and that’s a hell of a lot more then he could say. I laid down on my bed and screamed into my pillow. I’m going to go to sleep and hope that when I wake up I’m anywhere but here.