The Father I Never Wanted is the Person I've Always Needed

After that night, Val kept me busy with her and I didn't see Brian for days at a time, I slept in his room but i slept alone. I wasn't aloud to leave the house because of the box and the fear that she might be waiting but I was starting to become very upset with the way things have been going.

Val smiled at me, we had been baking things all morning she said it was just to keep our hands busy. but I think she knew everything that was going on but she wouldn't tell me. It was starting to piss me off.

"I think I'm done with the cooking crap. We've been doing nothing but this for days. J.R. is going to have to enough bedtime snacks to last a life time. We are the guys getting home."

Val sighed glancing up at the clock, Her face turning hard for a moment trying to hide something.. Fear? "They should be back by six tonight. so you can't be done with cooking we are making them dinner." I stared at her for a moment.

"Am I finally going to get to spend more then five minutes with Brian or is it going to be like it has been for the last few weeks? They come in and hide in that fucking room for hours just to turn around and leave again. If that's the case I think I'll pass on dinner tonight."

Val sighed, I knew deep down she was feeling the same way I was and she wasn't liking any of this either but the differents was that she was in the loop and Matt called her and talked to her Brian didn't call me maybe a text asking if I'm okay once a day but that wasn't enough and it wasn't right.

"I don't know Matt said that we were going to get to spend some time together but he didn't say how much or how long they were going to be here." She looked at the floor. "I know this is hard for you and i know that your feeling so confused and angry and hurt. I know that your scared too and so am I but don't worry okay? Brian loves you and miss you just the same as you do. Don't think of anything other then that."

She walked over and pulled me into a hug. "This is how life has to be for us right now but it wont be like this for long okay just keep your head up okay?"

I smiled slightly, I was still pissed but I wouldn't take it out on her anymore. "Alright what are we cooking for dinner then?" Her eyes lit up as she walked over to pull the cookies out of the oven. "port chops mashed potato's, green beans and of course we got wine for us and beer for them." I laughed

"And what about your son?"

"I'll have him in bed after dinner and he's been sleeping all night so I think everything will be okay... if it goes to my plans."

~~~~~~~~~

"Alright Val I think everything is about ready, shouldn't they be here by now?"

Val glanced up at the clock as she started making the plates. "They should be here anytime, go clean yourself up I'll be right behind you." I smiled placing the pot of green beans on the table.

"Alight." I walked to the room in a deep thought, hoping that this would be a good night and I could talked to him, hold him. I was missing him so much. Part of me thought that Matt was doing just to keep us apart for some reason.

I walked over to my dresser and pulled out my black shorts, taking off the sweet pants I was wearing, i pulled them up my legs.

pulling off my shirt i stared down at my shirts I didn't know which one would look better my light pink shirt or the purple tank top.

I sighed dropping the pink one back into my dresser. I sat down on the bed facing the window, I pulled the shirt over my head sighing.

"Damn, I've missed watching you do that." I turned my head to find Brian standing in the doorway his arms folded across his chest. he smiled at me.

I stood up facing him completely. Brian walked closer to me his arms ready for me to walk into as much as parted me wanted to yell at him, i listened to the part that craved to have his arms around me.

He held me tightly to his body. I rapped my arms around him placing my head on his chest with my eyes closed. I could have staid like that forever if Val hadn't yelled for us to come to dinner. I sighed pulling away from him, the angry side of me coming back. I stared up at him for a moment before walking around him out into the living room. Everyone was sitting at the kitchen table, besides Zacky Brian and I. Matt smiled at me from across the table as I sat down. "The food looks so good Sophia, Val said you've been cooking like crazy with her."

I rolled my eyes sitting down, Brian sat right beside me, I could feel his eyes on my face. "Well I hope you like it." Val handed me a glass of red wine. I smiled thanking her.

"So what have you guys been up to?"

Matt didn't even look at me. "Stuff for the band." I rolled my eyes staring down at my plate. I glanced over at Brian who had been staring at me since I sat down. I gave him the best smile I could fake and went back to playing with my food. Everyone talked and chatted about things, someone would asked me a question and I would answer as simple as I could not feeling any of this right now. I sighed standing up dumping my food into the trash, "I think I'm going to go watch a movie, I'll see you guys later." Matt glanced down at Val who shook her head at him. "Okay," I filled up my glass of wine not even looking at Brian I didn't want him to see my face. I put pitch perfect into the D.V play and sat down on the bed my wine in hand.

I don't know if it was because I downed a two cups of wine or what but I couldn't stop laughing when the girl got down on the ground dancing like a mermaid I didn't even hear the bedroom door open up. Brian stood his back to the door, staring at me. I couldn't stop laughing feeling a little buzzed from the wine.

"Are you mad at me?" he seemed angry as he down at me. "I mean you don't even talked to me at dinner or anyone you shut yourself off from everyone to come in here and get drunk by yourself?"

"Speaking of drinks, if we're going to be fighting I'm going to need another glass." I stood up from the bed tumbling a little bit i couldn't help but to laugh.

"What is wrong with you? I've never seen you like this before?"

I turned to him. "Like what?"

"Drunk."

I laughed. "honey I'm not drunk yet." He stood in front of the door way not moving.

"Let me out of here." Brian glared down at me.

"No I want to talk, and not when you like this. You don't need another cup."

I crossed my arms across my chest. "Since when did you start telling me what I can and can not do?"

"The moment you became my girl, your acting out of anger and you wont even talked to me about it."

I rolled my eyes. " Move Brain."

"No." He stood strong not moving an inch. i raised my eye brow at him.

I pulled out my phone and texted Val. 'Hey girl i'm to lazy to get up will you bring me some more wine please!!!' I stood there tapping my foot. Brian stared at me confused.

until a knock came to the door. "Come in." I yelled before Brian could say anything. the door hit his back causing him to step to the side. "Here you go no more for you tough You look like your already feeling good."

I smiled taking the glass from her hand. she glanced up at Brian's face and back at me confused. "Oh I am. Thanks Val. I turned and went back to the bed going back to my movie. Val stepped back as Brain stormed passed her slamming the door behind him.

I stared after him. I couldn't believe he was acting like this." I sighed, I couldn't believe I was acting like this. I took a big drink and sat my cup down. I didn't want this as much as I told myself I wasn't, I was pushing him away. Feeling so alone lately I guess this is easier then feeling the pain when I know he's lying to me. I just was losing faith in all of this. I flipped the movie off and put on the song that girl was singing in the shower, titanium I knew every word.

I plugged my ipod into the radio and turned it on, undressing myself for the shower.

I had the what has hot as I could stand.

'You shout it loud, but I can't hear a word you say I'm talking loud, not saying much I'm criticized, but all your bullets ricochet you shoot me down, but I get up
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose fire away, fire away ricochet, you take your aim fire away, fire away you shoot me down, but I won't fall I am titanium you shoot me down, but I won't fall I am titanium
Cut me down, but it's you who'll have further to fall Ghost town and haunted love Raise your voice, sticks and stones may break my bones I'm talking loud, not saying much
I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose fire away, fire away ricochet, you take your aim fire away, fire away you shoot me down, but I won't fall I am titanium you shoot me down, but I won't fall I am titanium'

I turned and let the water hit my face, I didn't know how much more I could take of this shit, I just feel so done.

I washed my hair, and my body before getting out I rapped myself in a towel and went to lay on the bed Brian was still gone and i didn't know if that meant gone from the room or gone from the house, I was kind of scared to know really. I laid down on top of the blanket.

"Sophia?" Val knocked on the door.

"come in." she popped her head in the door.

"Is it safe for Brian to come in here now? He's kinda fucking up mine and Matt night together with his crying about you." she winked at me.

"Yeah send him in. wait, is he done yelling at me?"

she rolled her eyes. "No most likely not but stay like that it wont last long." she laughed. closing the door behind her. It wasn't long before Brian was pushed back into our room by Val and Jimmy. I couldn't help but to laugh.

they shut the door behind them. "And don't come back out until tomorrow."

Brian glared at the door not even looking at me. I stood up with a sigh. I walked over to Brian. placing my hand on his shoulder, he turned slowly to face me.

"Look Brian, you don't have a right to tell me what I can and can not do, I don't do that shit to you don't pull that shit on me. I'm sorry I'm being such a bitch but I can't take this anymore."

I sighed sitting down on the bed. " I can't take this pain, the feeling I get every time I sleep in this bed along. not being able to step on foot out of this fucking basement shit. you getting your self fucked up and not even telling me what happened and then poof your ass is just gone leaving me to my fears." I felt the tears in my eyes but pulled them back.

Brian sighed running his hands threw his hair. "I don't know what you want me to say."

I stared up at him my feelings hurt. "That's okay, you know what i don't want you to say anything." I stood up looking at him. "I can't believe you right now." I walked around him to the door. i pulled it open. "It's your turn to sleep without me." I didn't stop when he called my name. All the lights were off and everyone else was in there rooms which was a good thing because I was still in my towel. I laid down on the couch feeling completely confused about everything.

How could he not know what to say? tell me you love me, tell me you need me. He just had to say something. I sighed letting myself slowly fall a sleep.

I woke up to the feeling of someone caring me, I started to panic at first but Zacky's voice calmed me down. "Sophia, why are you in a towel?"

I giggled quietly my eyes closed again. "Brian didn't like that I was drinking, i kinda went a little overboard and we got into a big fight and well he fucked up so I walked out and forgot i didn't have clothes on."

Zacky sighed. "Sophia... Brian has been threw some shit don't take him to the heart your all he thinks about."

"He didn't know what to say.. i poured my heart out and he let me sit there broken.. I'm broken." I think Val drugged me I didn't drink that much.

Zacky didn't take me to his room like i thought he was going to he took me back to Brian's room I pretended to be asleep.

"Damn Brian your still up?"

Brian sighed. "Yeah got a lot on my mind, what are you doing with her?"

"Bringing her back to you, even in her sleep all she can talk about is you, what happened man?"

"She was mad, I was mad and nothing went as I planned. I fucked up but s he just drives me nuts." i Brian's hands take me from Zacky I placed my head on his chest taking him.

"Zacky I don't know what to do, I'm killing her. You should have seen the look on her face when she seen me today." If I would have opened my eyes I would have been met with his.

"Look man whatever you said to her tonight, or should I say didn't say to her tonight that's what's hurting her. you need to talk to her and realize she is so confused. she doesn't know anything thats going on. how would you feel?"

"I know. look lets talk tomorrow. I don't want to wake her up she was a little gone tonight."

Zacky laughed lightly. "I would say so." Then I heard the door shut. Brian placed me on the bed and then covered me up I felt him get in the bed next to me. his arms pulled me close to his body. "I can't sleep unless your in my arms." his lips grazed across my neck. "Mmm." I couldn't hold in the feelings he gave me, no matter how angry I was at him.

"I love you."

I opened my eyes and looked at him. he was on his elbow staring down at my face. "Forgive me?"

I smiled "Always." His hand ran up and down my side as we stared at each other. I placed my head against his chest. "Don't ever let me go."