The Father I Never Wanted is the Person I've Always Needed
Promise
The banging on door has been going on for the last half hour. I haven’t left my room since I locked myself in here last night and it was already ten thirty p.m. no matter how many times I scream for them to go away they wont.
“I know you mad but you haven’t eaten anything all day please at come eat.”
I glared at the door. “For the last time no.” I walked over to the radio on my dresser and turned it up enough that I wouldn’t have to hear her voice anymore. I decided that it would be a good time to take a bath and try and clear my head. I knew that I was being childish right now but he put his hands on me, I have never had anyone hit me like that before. Don’t get me wrong I’ve been in fights before but never has anyone like my dad felt that it was okay for them to hit me. if my Grandpa knew that he did this to me he would kill him.
The thought made me want to call him right now, maybe I would get my life back but it doesn’t seem like theirs much to go back to none of the people I call ‘friends’ never text me back anymore and when I called my grandma this morning like I promised she informed me that her and my papa were going to be going on a trip and the only way I was going to be able to get a hold of her was by email and as much as I disliked that idea of it I didn’t tell her that I wanted them to have a good time and it was only six months right? I could last here for six months, well I hope so anyways.
I rapped a towel around my and walked into my room I almost screamed. “What are you doing in my bedroom?” I glared at her.
“Come on, you think you’re the only girl who knows how to clime onto the rough? I was a teenager once.” She smiled at me.
“Well then you know your way out then right?” I turned away from her and started going threw my clothes.
“You know that they are both going crazy down their. Val feels bad for yelling at you.”
“She should, she’s not my mother.” Michelle sighed. “Your dad is down stairs right now crying his eyes out. He’s been like this since he hit you.”
I knew she was lying that man doesn’t cry. “Yeah okay. Now if you don’t mind I would like to go to sleep.”
“Come with me to get something to eat and we can talk? I won’t tell them were we are.”
“No I don’t want to talk to anyone.”
She sighed. “Fine we don’t have to talk just let me get you something to eat.” Damn this girl just doesn’t give up does she. I was starving but I wasn’t going to give in to her.
“No. now please leave.” She took a deep breath. “I know that your hurting right now and by the bruise on your cheek I think you have a right to be. I know that your hurting more than any of us really know I can see it in your eyes. You love him as much as you hate it and if you don’t give him the chance to be the father that you wanted him to be all those years ago he’ll never be able to make up for the mistakes he’s made. He is a fucking idiot sometimes and I’m not telling you to for give him right away just give him a chance to fix your broken heart.”
I stared at her back as she turned unlocking my door “When your up for something to eat come down stairs and ill make you anything you want.” She closed the door lightly behind her and I quickly locked it back. I stared at the wall for a long hour thinking about what I was doing. I didn’t want to forgive him for a reason he hurt me and there is always that chance that he could do it again and I couldn’t take that but if I keep acting like I am now I’m just hurting us both even more but even with that being said I couldn’t just forgive him for what he’s done to me.
I couldn’t ignore the growling in my stomach anymore Glancing at my clock I seen that it was twelve thirty. I was hoping that everyone would be out back I seen that they had a fire going. So broken hearted they are right?
I unlocked my door and opened it enough for me to be able to hear any type of movement in the house but I didn’t hear anything so I took that as my chance and walked as quickly as I could down the stairs. I cruised myself when I heard the voices coming from the kitchen
“Babe we can’t change what happened now and you couldn’t get a hold of her grand parents, you can’t just abandoned her again.” He was going to send me away? I should be happy about this. I should be jumping for joy but that wasn’t what I was feeling. I couldn’t let him slip away from me again. How stupid do I sound? Caring for someone who didn’t give a fuck about me but I could make him, and I will.
“But she doesn’t want to be here she’s made that very clear she hates me.”
“Because you’ve never given me any reason not to.” Both of their heads shot in my direction. “And now your making me even more right.”
Matt stood from the table. he had tears in his eyes. “I’m so fucking stupid. I didn’t mean to do that to you I have never hit a women in my life and I hit you my daughter and its killing me.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I shook my head that would only make me pissed off again. “I’ll make you a deal, I’ll try to not be such a bitch to you if you promise that you promise to never leave me again.”
He smiled walking over to me pulling me into a very tight hug. “I promise.”
“I know you mad but you haven’t eaten anything all day please at come eat.”
I glared at the door. “For the last time no.” I walked over to the radio on my dresser and turned it up enough that I wouldn’t have to hear her voice anymore. I decided that it would be a good time to take a bath and try and clear my head. I knew that I was being childish right now but he put his hands on me, I have never had anyone hit me like that before. Don’t get me wrong I’ve been in fights before but never has anyone like my dad felt that it was okay for them to hit me. if my Grandpa knew that he did this to me he would kill him.
The thought made me want to call him right now, maybe I would get my life back but it doesn’t seem like theirs much to go back to none of the people I call ‘friends’ never text me back anymore and when I called my grandma this morning like I promised she informed me that her and my papa were going to be going on a trip and the only way I was going to be able to get a hold of her was by email and as much as I disliked that idea of it I didn’t tell her that I wanted them to have a good time and it was only six months right? I could last here for six months, well I hope so anyways.
I rapped a towel around my and walked into my room I almost screamed. “What are you doing in my bedroom?” I glared at her.
“Come on, you think you’re the only girl who knows how to clime onto the rough? I was a teenager once.” She smiled at me.
“Well then you know your way out then right?” I turned away from her and started going threw my clothes.
“You know that they are both going crazy down their. Val feels bad for yelling at you.”
“She should, she’s not my mother.” Michelle sighed. “Your dad is down stairs right now crying his eyes out. He’s been like this since he hit you.”
I knew she was lying that man doesn’t cry. “Yeah okay. Now if you don’t mind I would like to go to sleep.”
“Come with me to get something to eat and we can talk? I won’t tell them were we are.”
“No I don’t want to talk to anyone.”
She sighed. “Fine we don’t have to talk just let me get you something to eat.” Damn this girl just doesn’t give up does she. I was starving but I wasn’t going to give in to her.
“No. now please leave.” She took a deep breath. “I know that your hurting right now and by the bruise on your cheek I think you have a right to be. I know that your hurting more than any of us really know I can see it in your eyes. You love him as much as you hate it and if you don’t give him the chance to be the father that you wanted him to be all those years ago he’ll never be able to make up for the mistakes he’s made. He is a fucking idiot sometimes and I’m not telling you to for give him right away just give him a chance to fix your broken heart.”
I stared at her back as she turned unlocking my door “When your up for something to eat come down stairs and ill make you anything you want.” She closed the door lightly behind her and I quickly locked it back. I stared at the wall for a long hour thinking about what I was doing. I didn’t want to forgive him for a reason he hurt me and there is always that chance that he could do it again and I couldn’t take that but if I keep acting like I am now I’m just hurting us both even more but even with that being said I couldn’t just forgive him for what he’s done to me.
I couldn’t ignore the growling in my stomach anymore Glancing at my clock I seen that it was twelve thirty. I was hoping that everyone would be out back I seen that they had a fire going. So broken hearted they are right?
I unlocked my door and opened it enough for me to be able to hear any type of movement in the house but I didn’t hear anything so I took that as my chance and walked as quickly as I could down the stairs. I cruised myself when I heard the voices coming from the kitchen
“Babe we can’t change what happened now and you couldn’t get a hold of her grand parents, you can’t just abandoned her again.” He was going to send me away? I should be happy about this. I should be jumping for joy but that wasn’t what I was feeling. I couldn’t let him slip away from me again. How stupid do I sound? Caring for someone who didn’t give a fuck about me but I could make him, and I will.
“But she doesn’t want to be here she’s made that very clear she hates me.”
“Because you’ve never given me any reason not to.” Both of their heads shot in my direction. “And now your making me even more right.”
Matt stood from the table. he had tears in his eyes. “I’m so fucking stupid. I didn’t mean to do that to you I have never hit a women in my life and I hit you my daughter and its killing me.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I shook my head that would only make me pissed off again. “I’ll make you a deal, I’ll try to not be such a bitch to you if you promise that you promise to never leave me again.”
He smiled walking over to me pulling me into a very tight hug. “I promise.”
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