Faithfully
That Lea Girl Looked A Lot Like Estella
We continued our drive in silence, leaving the forest and making our way back to the freeway. Estella pulled out the map, trying to figure out where we were going next.
“One hour to Santa Cruz,” She chirped, sneezing again.
“Bless you,” I murmured, glancing over at her. She smiled sheepishly.
“It’s just allergies, probably.” She said, waving it off like it wasn’t important. I frowned, but didn’t say anything. She and I both knew she had never had any allergies before. This worried me to no end. Why was she suddenly coughing and sneezing? Was it even possible for her to get a cold?
We made it to Santa Cruz in the hour, but decided to continue driving after picking up some food, wanting to get as far as we could. We didn’t have to say it out loud, but we were both very conscious of the fact that her time was running out. We still had at least a week of driving before we would reach San Diego, and I was determined to bring her back home.
By the time we were practically falling asleep in the car, we had made it to the outskirts of Santa Barbara. I pulled into a shady looking motel, quickly checking in and carrying Estella into the room easily. I laid her in the bed gently, moving to go grab our bags. I dumped them by the door, kicking off my shoes and crawling into the bed next to her, too exhausted to do anything else.
I woke up in the middle of the night, the sheets tangled up in my legs. I glanced up at the clock and sighed when I saw the little red numbers read 2:31. I rolled over, wrapping my arm around Estella’s waist and burying my face in her hair. I pulled her close to me, my chest to her back. She stirred slightly, but didn’t wake up, simply moving closer to me. I smiled sleepily and closed my eyes, falling back asleep.
The next thing I knew, we were in LA. I didn’t remember waking up or getting in the car, but suddenly we were there, walking around the city. Estella’s hand was in mine, and we were pointing out landmarks here and there, laughing and talking quietly and closely. We began walking back to the truck when she suddenly stopped walking. Her hand was yanked from mine and she was frozen to the spot. I turned around, running back to her, but it was like there was a glass wall between us, thick and unbreakable. I shouted her name, pounding on the glass, and I saw her start to slip away from the wall, moving backwards. She was saying something, but I couldn’t hear her, she was too far away.
“Estella, come back!” I shouted frantically, pounding against the glass with everything in me. It was useless. She was falling away from me, her eyes slipping shut, but her lips still moving. She was saying something over and over, and I kept banging on the glass, but nothing was happening and she was leaving and I had never felt more defeated or upset or alone or empty, and suddenly-
I was being shaken awake.
“Jack! Jack, please wake up. Jack? Jack, come on, wake up. Wake up!” From somewhere in the distance, I heard Estella’s voice filled with worry. My drowsy brain connected the shaking with her voice and I sat up straight quickly, snapping back into awareness. I looked over to see Estella staring at me with worry written all over her face. My face broke into a smile, and I wrapped my arms around her, burying my face in her shoulder and holding her tightly, relishing the fact that she was here.
“You were having a nightmare.” She said softly, rubbing my back gently. “What happened?”
“You were leaving me.” I admitted quietly into her skin, closing my eyes and holding her. “You were stuck behind this glass wall and I couldn’t save you.” I could feel her sigh in my hair, and she kissed the top of my head gently.
“You should go back to sleep. Come on, lay back down.” She said soothingly, easing me back until my head was on the pillow again. She laid down next to me, wrapping her arm around my waist, her head on my chest. She began humming softly, waiting until my eyes were closed to start singing.
I should tell you, I should tell you, I have always loved you, you can see it in my eyes, she sang quietly, her free hand reaching down and lacing with mine. I smiled slightly, drifting back into sleep.
The next morning I woke up to find Estella staring up at me, humming softly. She smiled brightly when she saw my eyes open, leaning up to kiss my jaw.
“Good morning. Did you sleep well?” She asked, looking at me with concern. I smiled warmly, nodding.
“I slept perfectly, thanks.” I told her, kissing her forehead. She smiled and then patted my cheek gently, wriggling out of my arms and sitting up.
“Good. Let’s get a move on then, we’re almost to Los Angeles.” She said, grinning widely and clapping her hands together happily. I chuckled, sitting up as well and getting out of bed. We each took a shower and then got back into the truck, starting it up and pulling out of the parking lot. It was almost routine now, like we had been doing this for most of our lives instead of a few weeks. Estella pulled out the map and quickly chirped out where we would need to go to get to Los Angeles, and I followed her directions. We were on the highway soon, the road stretching endlessly behind us and endlessly in front of us, and it felt like this would never end. I glanced over at her as she chattered about nothing, reaching out and taking her hand into mine. She paused, smiling as she looked at our hands and then at me. I briefly looked at her, smiling slightly and squeezing her hand before looking back at the road. She continued to chatter, a smile never leaving her lips.
We reached Los Angeles within two hours, and she convinced me to pull over so we could walk around for awhile.
“This is the last time I’m going to be able to see this city, Jack. Please?” She asked with just the perfect amount of sadness and hope that I had to give in to her. She squealed happily, just like she did when I agreed to let her ride the trolley, and I can’t help but smile. She leans over, kissing me before quickly moving back, coughing violently again. I winced before moving towards her. She shook her head through her coughing, holding up a hand and keeping me away from her. When they finally finished, she smiled weakly at me.
“I’m fine. Let’s go.” She said, quickly getting out of the truck. I knew my forehead was creased with worry but Estella had already made it very clear that she was going to walk around this city whether I came or not. There was no way I was leaving her alone, so I got out of the truck, locking the doors and walking over to her side. Remembering my nightmare, I put a protective arm around her waist, holding her close to my side. She smiled slightly, leaning into me as we walked down the sidewalk.
As we walked more into the downtown area, it got more crowded and there were a lot more celebrity sightings. Estella became very excited whenever she saw anyone even remotely famous. She got extremely ecstatic when she saw two actors from one of her favorite TV shows she used to watch back home.
“Jack, look! It’s Lea Michele and Cory Monteith from Glee! Oh, aren’t they so cute together?” She squealed, tugging on my shirt and pointing them out to me. I had to take a double take, because that Lea girl looked a lot like Estella. I shrugged it off, and we continued walking, Estella deciding that since she didn’t have anything for them to autograph it would be pointless going up to them. We walked around the city until she got tired, which happened pretty fast. It only served to remind me that she was going to leave me soon. Our time was running out. I swore right then and there that I would spend every last moment with her. I led her to a bench so she could catch her breath, and she rested her head on my shoulder, inhaling and exhaling with difficulty.
She looked up at me, smiling softly. “Thank you, Jack.” I glanced down at her, a bit surprised.
“For what?”
“For this. For everything.” She said, spreading her arms out as if motioning to our entire trip. “You didn’t have to take me on this trip, but you did. And I am so, so grateful for it. I’m glad that I’m going to die knowing that I made it down here, instead of in my bed at home. This is so much more than I deserve, so thank you.” She said, leaning up and kissing my cheek softly. A smile tugged at one end of my lips, and I kissed her forehead.
“You’re welcome.” She smiled, nestling closer to me.
“I just wanted to tell you that in case I don’t get another chance.” She said quietly, closing her eyes. She knew more than I did exactly how much time she had left, and by the sound of her words, it wasn’t much. I looked down at her with fear and worry, and she shook her head.
“Not today. But soon.” She said, answering my unspoken question. I exhaled, relieved a bit. I had one more day, at least.
“One hour to Santa Cruz,” She chirped, sneezing again.
“Bless you,” I murmured, glancing over at her. She smiled sheepishly.
“It’s just allergies, probably.” She said, waving it off like it wasn’t important. I frowned, but didn’t say anything. She and I both knew she had never had any allergies before. This worried me to no end. Why was she suddenly coughing and sneezing? Was it even possible for her to get a cold?
We made it to Santa Cruz in the hour, but decided to continue driving after picking up some food, wanting to get as far as we could. We didn’t have to say it out loud, but we were both very conscious of the fact that her time was running out. We still had at least a week of driving before we would reach San Diego, and I was determined to bring her back home.
By the time we were practically falling asleep in the car, we had made it to the outskirts of Santa Barbara. I pulled into a shady looking motel, quickly checking in and carrying Estella into the room easily. I laid her in the bed gently, moving to go grab our bags. I dumped them by the door, kicking off my shoes and crawling into the bed next to her, too exhausted to do anything else.
I woke up in the middle of the night, the sheets tangled up in my legs. I glanced up at the clock and sighed when I saw the little red numbers read 2:31. I rolled over, wrapping my arm around Estella’s waist and burying my face in her hair. I pulled her close to me, my chest to her back. She stirred slightly, but didn’t wake up, simply moving closer to me. I smiled sleepily and closed my eyes, falling back asleep.
The next thing I knew, we were in LA. I didn’t remember waking up or getting in the car, but suddenly we were there, walking around the city. Estella’s hand was in mine, and we were pointing out landmarks here and there, laughing and talking quietly and closely. We began walking back to the truck when she suddenly stopped walking. Her hand was yanked from mine and she was frozen to the spot. I turned around, running back to her, but it was like there was a glass wall between us, thick and unbreakable. I shouted her name, pounding on the glass, and I saw her start to slip away from the wall, moving backwards. She was saying something, but I couldn’t hear her, she was too far away.
“Estella, come back!” I shouted frantically, pounding against the glass with everything in me. It was useless. She was falling away from me, her eyes slipping shut, but her lips still moving. She was saying something over and over, and I kept banging on the glass, but nothing was happening and she was leaving and I had never felt more defeated or upset or alone or empty, and suddenly-
I was being shaken awake.
“Jack! Jack, please wake up. Jack? Jack, come on, wake up. Wake up!” From somewhere in the distance, I heard Estella’s voice filled with worry. My drowsy brain connected the shaking with her voice and I sat up straight quickly, snapping back into awareness. I looked over to see Estella staring at me with worry written all over her face. My face broke into a smile, and I wrapped my arms around her, burying my face in her shoulder and holding her tightly, relishing the fact that she was here.
“You were having a nightmare.” She said softly, rubbing my back gently. “What happened?”
“You were leaving me.” I admitted quietly into her skin, closing my eyes and holding her. “You were stuck behind this glass wall and I couldn’t save you.” I could feel her sigh in my hair, and she kissed the top of my head gently.
“You should go back to sleep. Come on, lay back down.” She said soothingly, easing me back until my head was on the pillow again. She laid down next to me, wrapping her arm around my waist, her head on my chest. She began humming softly, waiting until my eyes were closed to start singing.
I should tell you, I should tell you, I have always loved you, you can see it in my eyes, she sang quietly, her free hand reaching down and lacing with mine. I smiled slightly, drifting back into sleep.
The next morning I woke up to find Estella staring up at me, humming softly. She smiled brightly when she saw my eyes open, leaning up to kiss my jaw.
“Good morning. Did you sleep well?” She asked, looking at me with concern. I smiled warmly, nodding.
“I slept perfectly, thanks.” I told her, kissing her forehead. She smiled and then patted my cheek gently, wriggling out of my arms and sitting up.
“Good. Let’s get a move on then, we’re almost to Los Angeles.” She said, grinning widely and clapping her hands together happily. I chuckled, sitting up as well and getting out of bed. We each took a shower and then got back into the truck, starting it up and pulling out of the parking lot. It was almost routine now, like we had been doing this for most of our lives instead of a few weeks. Estella pulled out the map and quickly chirped out where we would need to go to get to Los Angeles, and I followed her directions. We were on the highway soon, the road stretching endlessly behind us and endlessly in front of us, and it felt like this would never end. I glanced over at her as she chattered about nothing, reaching out and taking her hand into mine. She paused, smiling as she looked at our hands and then at me. I briefly looked at her, smiling slightly and squeezing her hand before looking back at the road. She continued to chatter, a smile never leaving her lips.
We reached Los Angeles within two hours, and she convinced me to pull over so we could walk around for awhile.
“This is the last time I’m going to be able to see this city, Jack. Please?” She asked with just the perfect amount of sadness and hope that I had to give in to her. She squealed happily, just like she did when I agreed to let her ride the trolley, and I can’t help but smile. She leans over, kissing me before quickly moving back, coughing violently again. I winced before moving towards her. She shook her head through her coughing, holding up a hand and keeping me away from her. When they finally finished, she smiled weakly at me.
“I’m fine. Let’s go.” She said, quickly getting out of the truck. I knew my forehead was creased with worry but Estella had already made it very clear that she was going to walk around this city whether I came or not. There was no way I was leaving her alone, so I got out of the truck, locking the doors and walking over to her side. Remembering my nightmare, I put a protective arm around her waist, holding her close to my side. She smiled slightly, leaning into me as we walked down the sidewalk.
As we walked more into the downtown area, it got more crowded and there were a lot more celebrity sightings. Estella became very excited whenever she saw anyone even remotely famous. She got extremely ecstatic when she saw two actors from one of her favorite TV shows she used to watch back home.
“Jack, look! It’s Lea Michele and Cory Monteith from Glee! Oh, aren’t they so cute together?” She squealed, tugging on my shirt and pointing them out to me. I had to take a double take, because that Lea girl looked a lot like Estella. I shrugged it off, and we continued walking, Estella deciding that since she didn’t have anything for them to autograph it would be pointless going up to them. We walked around the city until she got tired, which happened pretty fast. It only served to remind me that she was going to leave me soon. Our time was running out. I swore right then and there that I would spend every last moment with her. I led her to a bench so she could catch her breath, and she rested her head on my shoulder, inhaling and exhaling with difficulty.
She looked up at me, smiling softly. “Thank you, Jack.” I glanced down at her, a bit surprised.
“For what?”
“For this. For everything.” She said, spreading her arms out as if motioning to our entire trip. “You didn’t have to take me on this trip, but you did. And I am so, so grateful for it. I’m glad that I’m going to die knowing that I made it down here, instead of in my bed at home. This is so much more than I deserve, so thank you.” She said, leaning up and kissing my cheek softly. A smile tugged at one end of my lips, and I kissed her forehead.
“You’re welcome.” She smiled, nestling closer to me.
“I just wanted to tell you that in case I don’t get another chance.” She said quietly, closing her eyes. She knew more than I did exactly how much time she had left, and by the sound of her words, it wasn’t much. I looked down at her with fear and worry, and she shook her head.
“Not today. But soon.” She said, answering my unspoken question. I exhaled, relieved a bit. I had one more day, at least.