"Billie, This Is So Wrong, but I Love You."

As the cab pulled into Berkeley hotel, I started to cry all over again. Billie was out of my life forever, when, for over six years all that invaded my thoughts was him. I was sure he felt the same, but I must have been mistaking. I dragged my only belongings out of the cab and walked inside to the reception. I had to wait behind a couple that couldn't wait to get into a room.

"I'd like a room please." I said flatly. I was so exhausted from all the sobbing.

"Name?" The recptionist asked.

"Clara Chambers." I handed her an ID card and she wrote some things down.

"Room 218. I put you up for a package that includes T.V. in the room, access to the pool and gym, DVD's and a mini bar. So, all together that comes to a total of $250, thank you."

"For a night?" I asked, shocked.

"Yep. Take it or leave it."

I handed her money as she handed me the key and walked slowly to my room. I opened the door and sighed. I stared at the plain, stained ceilings and longed for Billie. Adrienne didn't deserve him. He deserves someone better, someone special, even if that person isn't me. He just is selling himself short. I yawned and changed into a night gown, all the while thinking of Billie. I started to get bored and pissed off at what I was thinking about so I settled into bed, watching The Holiday.

___________________________________________________________

I woke to the sound of knocking on my door. I turned over tiredly, looking at the clock in the hotel room. 3.15am. Great. Who could it be at this hour? My mind immediately took me to a special person. No way, I told myself, Billie kicked me out, why would he track me down again? He'd most likely be at the hospital with his new son. If it was even his...

I made my way sleepily over towards the door. I stumbled with the lock, and then finally I saw... Billie!

"What... What... You... Doing... Are... Here?" I stuttered.

"Clara, can I come in?" He asked, and I stood back from the doorway. He glanced inside and walked over to the bed.

"I don't know what to do." He whispered.

"What do you mean? You don't love me anymore, so it's easy."

"Of course I still love you! Hell, I love you more than Adie!"

My heart and hopes soared. He loved me! And more than Adrienne!

"So, then, what's so hard?"

"The children. Our house, the marriage. That."

"Oh, Billie. You didn't sign one of those prenuptial agreements, did you?"

"No, but I can't just kick her out, can I? She's the mother of my children... Or child."

I gave him a questioning look.

"I don't think our new son, Justin, is mine."

"Oh."

"I love you. I love you Clara!"

Billie pulled me in close to him, and started kissing me. I know I should have pulled away, I know it, but so many years had gone by without his touch and I couldn't bear it. I melted into him, and before I knew it he was taking off my shirt and bra, cupping my breasts, and I was rubbing his naked back. He reached down and took off my pajama pants and underwear, and I removed his jeans and boxers. We kissed passionately and he slid two fingers inside me before he finally slid himself inside me. When he did it was so amazing. I had waited all my life, since year 9, to have this moment with him. This was as close as I could get to him and I loved it. It was perfect. We both came at the same time and he fell on top of me.

"I've made a mistake, I'm so sorry!" Billie panted, pulling on his clothes. I wrapped myself in a sheet and walked over to him.

"What the fuck? What do you mean?"

"I mean I can't be with you anymore. It's wrong, bad. I just committed adultery to my wife, who I do love. I can get over you, I have to. I'm sorry, but I have to go."

With that he ran out the door to his BMW and I collapsed on the bed in hysterical sobs yet again.