Crossroads of Life

We were on our way to my appointment with my OB/GYN when my phone rang. I looked at the caller ID to see it read Matt K., so I let it go to voicemail.

After going through all the preliminary check ups, I went to sit in the room on the bed, Brian and Dad sitting in chairs beside me. The doctor walked into the room and had me lay back and put my legs in the stirrups. I barely noticed what he was doing to me, all I could think about was my argument with Matt.

“Okay, so, go next door and the technician is waiting for you,” Dr. Frasier said. I nodded and got dressed the best I could. Brian ended up coming in to help me finish. In the next room, I laid back again, this time just lifting my shirt. Since I couldn’t move my neck to much, the tech moved the monitor around so I could see it right in front of me. She started up the machine, and placed a black microphone looking thing on my stomach, moving it around.
Out of nowhere a fast-paced beat came over the speakers.

“There she is,” the tech smiled. I glanced over at Dad and Brian, who were both listening, amazed. I would have been happier if Matt was here as well. The tech moved the microphone from my stomach and squirted gel onto me. She grabbed a white wand and placed it on my stomach, a black and white image appearing on the screen. Dad squinted to see better, and suddenly smiled.

“She’s right there,” He said, pointing to a small circle on the screen.

“Yes, that’s the baby,” the technician agreed. “That’s your baby Mrs. Haner.”

“Ms. Haner,” I corrected her, feeling tears fill my eyes. She took pictures and printed them out, handing them to my father as she helped clean off the gel from my stomach. I stared at one of the print outs, amazed that the small circle I was looking at was the baby growing inside of me. The baby Matt and I created together.

We left the doctors office after making another appointment. We were silent on the way home, and as we walked into the house.

“He left a note,” Brian called from the kitchen. I just sat on the couch, rubbing my hand over my stomach.

“Do you want to read it?” Dad asked me. I shook my head.

“No, it’s probably just him calling me a bitch and cussing me out.” I muttered. “I’m tired, I’m going to rest a little bit.” I walked myself upstairs, and laid down in my bed. Hugging a pillow to me, I finally let my true emotions show. I don’t know how long I cried, but I know the next thing I remembered was waking up, the sky dark and the house full of chatter.

“I’m going to go check on her,” I heard my father’s voice said.

“Leave her alone, she’s fine.” Mom scolded him. “Poor girl, had her heart broken like that.”

“I wanna kill him,” Brian’s voice said. “He knows she’s under enough as it is, and he goes and pulls that crap on her? I’m not going to let that fly.”

I gave up on listening, knowing it would just get worse before it gets better. Standing up, I made my way to the bathroom to take a bath. I couldn’t shower because of the injury yet, but I was getting close to having the luxury back.

I quickly changed into a pair of sweat pants and an Avenged Sevenfold T-Shirt, wanting to be comfortable more than anything tonight.

The conversation stopped as I started walking down the stairs. Looking around, I noticed everyone was here. McKenna, Brent, Mom, Dad and Brian.

“So, the guys wanted to have a little get together, since everyone has seen you in a while.” Brian told me. “It’s in a few hours, want to go?”

“As long as I can stay in this,” I muttered, sitting next to him.

“It’s fine, you know they don’t care.” he replied, linking our arms together.

“How are you feeling honey?” Mom asked, concern in her eyes.

“Like the biggest moron on the planet for letting something I’ve wanted for so long slip through my fingers.” I replied honestly. “I’m sorry.” I whispered, my voice cracking.

“It’s okay, it’s not your fault.” Dad said. “I had a feeling about him the minute I saw him. He’s too cocky, too egotistical.”

“Normally he’s not, I don’t know what it was with him, but he’s normally not that way, at least not to me he’s not.”

“He might have had a front up for you so he could sleep with you,” Brian replied. “And when he found out you were pregnant, he tried to find a way out of taking care of the kid.”

“Well, he doesn’t have to worry, because I’m not letting my baby anywhere near him now.” I muttered. “And I can’t take care of her, so the only thing I can think of to is go through with adoption.”

“It’s your choice Mad,” Brent said, leaning back on the couch. “We’ll be here for you no matter what.” Everyone else nodded their agreement. I snuggled into Brian more, my head resting on his shoulder. He kissed the top of my head and glanced at our father.

“Get her out of the house,” Dad said, scratching one of his eyes. “Take her to see her friends.” Brian nodded and we stood up. I pulled on a pair of flip-flops, not really wanting to bother with laces, and we left.

“Where’s this going on at?” I asked him when I realized we were heading towards Matt’s house, where their get togethers normally take place at. Brian hesitated, showing me he didn’t know how to say it. “Where?”

“You’ll see when we get there.” was all his reply was. I nodded and sat back in the seat, watching the scenery pass us by.

I jolted awake as Brian shut the car off.

“Sorry,” I muttered, rubbing my eyes. I hadn’t realized I had fallen asleep.

“It’s okay,” Brian replied. I looked out the window, but instead of seeing a house, I saw a cemetery.

“Where are we?” I asked Brian as he got out of the car. He didn’t reply as he helped me out. We walked down a long, narrow path, and he finally stopped. Up ahead was Matt, Zack and Johnny. Lacey, Leana, Val and Gena was with them, and Leana looked as though she was crying.

“Maddy, we’re at Jimmy’s gravesite.” Brian finally informed me. “We know you haven’t been here yet, and we all wanted to be here for your first visit.”

“I-I can’t do this Bri,” I said, backing up slowly. The others must of heard us because they turned to see where we were. “I can’t.”

“It’s fine,” Brian muttered, pulling me to him. “Everyone is here with you for it.”

“Jimmy’s not here,” I replied, trying to back away more. “Jimmy’s not here I can’t do this Brian. I just can’t!”

“Maddy,” Zack’s voice said from beside me. I looked into his startling green eyes, so full of sorrow and understanding, I lost it completely. I collapsed on the ground, sobs making my body shake furiously. A soft hand wrapped itself around my own, and I knew it was Leana’s right away. She hugged me, the both of us crying for the same reason. The loss of her husband and my friend, and the hurt of having to see his name in stone so young.

“It’ll be fine,” She assured me. “Just think, the memories you have of him doesn’t involve seeing him in the funeral home. You can think of Jimmy and see him as the carefree spirit we all knew.”

“The only thing I think about when I think of him is the last night I saw him and I yelled at him.”

“He took what you said to heart Mad.” Johnny said, kneeling in front of me beside Leana. “He asked us if he really did seem overprotective of you, and he decided give you more freedom. Didn’t you notice he didn’t call you as much while you were on the road.”

“I thought it was because he was pissed off at me,” I admitted.

“Honey,” Leana said with a chuckle. “You know Jimmy never held a grudge. If something made sense to him, then he decided he would work on it.”

“You’re right,” I muttered, nodding my head.

“Ready to go see him now?” Brian asked me. I nodded, and Matt came forward and helped me up. We walked to the spot Val and Gena was still standing at, and Val grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I closed by eyes as we walked up to the stone, and when I stopped, I sighed. It was a standing headstone, his picture right in the middle of it. Above the picture it was “James Owen Sullivan,” and beneath it was the date of his birth, and the date of his death. Just below the dates it said foREVer.

I ran my hand over his name, still not believing he was six feet beneath me. My knees gave out on me, and I felt hands wrap around me gently, and I knew it was Brian. I recognized the picture right away too, because if you looked closely enough, you could see someone’s head leaning against his. I pulled out my wallet and a picture. Jimmy’s expression was the exact same, but the difference was, I was in the picture with him. It was the night that I was told I was signed to the WWE. He wanted to have a good luck party for me, and the picture was taken for the both of us incase we got lonely on the road and missed each other.

“Are you okay?” Matt asked me gently. I nodded, smiling up at him.

“It’s not as bad as I thought,” I spoke up finally. “I just wish he was still here.”

“We all do sis,” Brian replied, rubbing my shoulders.

“Yeah, he would be flipping out over the thought of being Uncle Jimmy.” Zack smirked. The simple comment pierced my heart more than anything. He was right, Jimmy would have been excited about the baby.

“Zack, no more talk about that,” Brian said quickly, knowing exactly what I was thinking.

“W-” Zack looked confused, but a look from Leana cut his sentence off.

“Just please listen to him,” she said to everyone else. Only Brian and Leana knew what was really going on. I called Leana while I was in my room and told her. They must of decided to do this after I called her.

“Come on, we’ll go back to our house,” Val announced to everyone. Leana decided to ride with us to Matt and Val’s house.

“Sorry about Zack Maddy.” Brian said.

“He doesn’t know, but I should tell them,” I replied.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” Leana spoke up. “They’ll go after Korklan, you know they will.”

“But it’s better than pretending everything’s fine when it’s not.” I muttered, looking out the window.