I Can't Hang

And not only were there a thousand angel eyes locked on us, watching our every move, but the giant TV screen was turned on, too. When we walked in, all of the angels went completely silent, letting the noise of the television come through. What it had to say didn’t help us out, either.

“We’re out here in the streets of Manhattan where the odd occurrence happened just yesterday,” some British guy was saying. “As the appearance of two angels, it seems, came to this city, a few hours after a teenage boy had been hit by a car. Some call it a sign from God. Others call it hallucination from the smog in the air. And some just believe it didn’t happen at all.”

Brady facepalmed. I almost did, too.

“Oh my God, I thought things weren’t gonna get no worse…” he muttered.

“Experts have been buzzing about the events, as have news teams across the world.” Footage cut to a cheap cell-phone capture of me and Brady falling out of the sky. Then, to a bunch of official-looking people chattering about what I assumed was the incident.

“Aliens! It’s proof of aliens! They’re trying to abduct us!” one fat guy with glasses (who kinda looked familiar, actually) said. “They’re breaking the law!”

“It’s a sign we need to get back to God!” some other quack (another fat guy with glasses) added.

“It’s not real; it’s probably just a mirage or something,” a scrawny dude who resembled a velociraptor mumbled.

The news channel went on like that, getting opinions from other talking heads that couldn’t be further from the truth. Brady, James, and I stood in the midst of the angels, gaping up at the television screen with our mouths wide open and hanging down.

I elbowed Brady and whimpered, “I guess this is a bigger deal than we thought it’d be…”

He gulped. “That’s what I’m afraid of…”

One angel broke from the crowd, a young girl who looked intimidated by us. Pointing her thumb behind her, she told us, “God wants to see you, immediately. You better go to Them.”

St. James looked around worriedly, despite him not having anything to do with this. “What…what happened?”

“They’re in trouble. God’s mad.”

If I wasn’t an angel, I’d have been swearing up, down, left, right, diagonally, and through the window.

“Well…we should go see Them,” Brady sighed, leading the way. We trudged behind him in line, two accidents and some guy who tagged along. The walk to God’s door was terrifying. I couldn’t feel my fingers, my legs, or anything, really. I was just numbed at that point.

Before I could even knock, God shouted, “COME IN, FOOLS.”

Behind us, I heard a couple of angels snicker the way elementary school kids did when someone got called to the principal’s office. I guess this was, in a way, sort of similar…only, you know, on a more divine scale…

We went in, slowly. Once the three of us were in, the door slammed shut behind us and we caught sight of God Themselves, the light a steady buzz filling up the throne.

My heart fell. I always knew this wouldn’t be a good thing, but at that moment, all my fears were running rampant in my little head.

“I hope you know what you’ve done, the both of you,” God spoke rather calmly.

“We messed up,” Brady whispered, staring at the ground.

“How?” St. James asked. Apparently he didn’t get the memo that only Brady and I were supposed to be there. Although, being stranded in Antarctica for a while probably didn’t help his social skills out.

Brady glared at him.

“Kyle fell from a building and Brady made a scene, spreading his wings and letting all of Manhattan see them,” God grumbled.

“What about when Brady chased me into the alley? Why didn’t you punish him for that?” I bargained. I desperately didn’t wanna be banished to Hell for something this trivial.

“Nobody could tell he was an angel. He didn’t have his wings out – and neither did you. You, now you were invisible. Angels do that a lot, actually,” God informed us. “ANYWAY. About what happened the day you died, Kyle…”

Brady winced. He could tell a storm was brewing, and so could I.

“You’re almost blowing the Earth into pieces over this. I can’t deal with that. Both of you need to learn a little something about being incognito,” They informed. “I almost decided on banishing you from Heaven completely, but…”

“No!” Brady gasped, falling to his knees. “Anything but that! Please, man!”

My heart pounded up into my ears. “What’s gonna happen to us?”

“You’re on probation. Two weeks on Earth without your wings, or any way to get to Heaven.” God scowled through the dimming light, Their voice growing to a deep growl.

All of a sudden it felt like an anvil was being lifted off my shoulders.

Two weeks on Earth again? That didn’t sound like such a big deal to me. I even smiled up at Them, hoping to convey a bit of thankfulness, honestly.

Brady, on the other hand, was moaning and groaning for some odd reason.

“Whoa,” I grinned. “Man, I thought you’d, like…rip our wings off or something.”

“I could’ve,” They shrugged.

“Two weeks on Earth? Oh, no…” Brady muttered under his breath, looking like a deer in the headlights.

God caught sight of St. James to our right, shining a beam onto his young, round face. “At least you seem to have brought James back up. Let’s have him keep an eye on both of you while you’re down there.”

His eyes went wide and his wings shrunk. “Uh…”

“You can keep your wings and halo, and you can go to Heaven. But they can’t,” God added. “You’ll just be keeping them out of trouble.”

James looked at us for a moment before his mouth twitched in thought. “I guess I can do that…”

“I don’t wanna be on Earth! Everything sucks now!” Brady blurted out. “There! I said it!”

“Brady, quit griping. I didn’t mean for this punishment to be a field of daisies for you.”

“B-but…2010! It’s not ’86, I don’t know what’s going on there,” he cried, getting up from the floor. Boy, he was awful funny when he groveled. I shrugged at him, smirking slightly as if to be the biggest peanut gallery in the room.

“Yes, Brady, we know. That doesn’t change my mind. You three are going back down to New York so you can see the mistake you made every day you’re down there, and that’s final, ‘cause I said so,” God enforced. Pointing a redoubtable glimmer at him, They made him shut up fast, too. “Find an apartment, get a job, move to Florida, I don’t mind what you do or where you go. Do something for two weeks that won’t get you in trouble. I don’t care, just as long as you come back in one piece and aren’t wreaking havoc down there.”

I nodded, as did St. James. Brady didn’t budge.

“Now turn around. I’ll be keeping your wings up here while you’re on Earth again.”

When my wings were taken off, I didn’t really feel that different. There was just a sharp second of blunt pain and then they were off. I guess it was probably because I didn’t have them for that long and wasn’t used to them in the first place.

“Holy crap, I feel fat now,” Brady discovered after getting his taken off.

When we turned around, there were our wings floating in the cone of light that was God, hovering above the throne. Even when they were off of my back, my wings still looked tiny and pathetic.

“Get used to it,” They deadpanned.

I didn’t, at first, understand why this was supposed to be a punishment. In fact, all I really wanted for a long time was to go back to Earth and be alive again, convincing myself that this was all a dream. In my heart I knew it wasn’t. And in my heart I knew I was getting that wish granted again, but in my head, I knew it wouldn’t be all I had cracked it up to be.

St. James walked toward Heaven’s door, ushering us to come along, and we followed.