I Can't Hang

Basically, we were thrown out of Heaven.

Well…we were allowed to come back, just…not until we had St. James. Whoever the hell he was.

Brady and I sat on the outer cloud of Heaven, right outside the Pearly Gates, as he twisted and contorted a map in front of him to show us where we needed to go. He grunted and tossed it to the ground.

“Dang it. Let’s just go. It’s just gonna be a big white thing at the South Pole,” he fussed, grabbing my arm to pull me up.

“Whoa, wait – how long’s it gonna take to fly down there?” I asked in a panic. As you have hopefully noticed, I wasn’t completely down with flying yet. And God knows (pun intended) I didn’t wanna screw up again ‘cause of that.

“Ah, only a few minutes. I know a shortcut.”

Shortcut…? Wha…did he, like, go to Antarctica just for fun?

Before I could ask anything, he had jumped clear off the edge of Heaven and I was forced to follow him. Almost instantly there was a huge rush of air blasting me in the face, scaring the living crap out of me, but once I caught up to Brady, who had his wings positioned in the most aerodynamic position one could think of, he grabbed my hand and I felt a whole lot safer.

We hurtled back toward Earth, flowing over oceans and islands until we reached within what felt like a minute what I presumed to be the South Pole – Antarctica.

From there we simply coasted. I don’t remember much of what it felt like to be soaring thousands of miles above ground without choking from a lack of air, but I remember what Brady’s satisfied laugh sounded like.

“Told you it’d only take a minute,” he gloated.

I blushed. “So how do we know who this guy is anyway?”

Brady shrugged, expanding his wings to their full size and dramatically reducing the speed of our fall toward earth. “Uh…I’m sure we’ll recognize ‘im. I seen him ‘round Heaven and stuff.”

“Uh huh,” I rolled my eyes. “Then what’s his…hair color?”

“Dark brown,” he responded immediately, focusing on our landing. “It’s just, there’s a lotta land down here. We might be searchin’ for a while.”

My heart sank. I didn’t understand why, though; it wasn’t like I had to go back home by my curfew or anything dumb like that.

The entire aspect of that made my heart kinda ache, actually. I know I was a “missing person” down in Manhattan at the time, but had they found me dead yet? My parents had to have been worried sick! I mean it wasn’t like they breathed down my back all the time when I was alive…we were kind of distant compared to some of my classmates. They stayed outta my way and I stayed outta theirs, but sometimes I felt like I didn’t know them at all. I just had to wish that I had a grip on life back down home, what the situations were…

“Kyle, watch out. We’re gonna hit the ground here soon,” Brady warned, snapping me out of a daze. “Hold on to me.”

As awkward as it was – a fourteen-year-old boy grabbing a twenty-seven-year-old man like that – I didn’t care since I didn’t know if angels could feel severe pain yet. Lord knows I didn’t wanna spend an eternity with a broken arm or somethin’ like that.

At least here, there was a little risk of anybody noticing us. And if they did, they’d just be those scientists up there and would probably just think we’re animals. And the animals wouldn’t give a crap. Well…they might have been a little scared, but…

Brady and I got up from the slippery ice we’d landed on, falling on our butts instantly afterward. He growled and motioned for me to crawl alongside him, and soon we had reached an actual patch of land with snow – traction. My heart leapt in joy.

He was out of breath with his hands on his hips when he uttered, “Can’t wait ‘till we find this kid. The sooner the better, dang it.”

I sighed. I had a gut feeling that this was gonna take forever.

~

That night, I slept for the first time as an angel. Brady said that it wasn’t necessary, but that he could use my lack of familiarity with the divine as an excuse to chill for a minute. (Chill. Haha. Get it? Har har.)

I was pooped, for lack of a better term. Just a few hours ago I’d been crushed by a Toyota and thrust into a world I wasn’t sure existed prior to it. But the second I’d laid eyes on God for the first time, it hit me. It was real. That just made it even more exhausting.

Brady said he didn’t need to sleep. He added something about being eternally energetic after going twenty-four years with divine whatzits and thingamajigs; for that I was kinda jealous. Lucky bastard.

We’d found a spot to settle and I basically toppled over onto the powder, thankful that there was something remotely comfortable to sleep on. He took a seat right above my head and kept glancing at me as I tried dozing off.

I think the only thing preventing me from actually sleeping was him starin’ at me.

“Quit lookin’ at me!” I grunted, punching his thigh haphazardly.

He swatted my hand away and grabbed a handful of snow, holding it above my face tauntingly. “I wasn’t starin’, I was just makin’ sure you were asleep!”

“I can’t fall asleep if you keep stalking me!”

He threw the snow away from me and instead pouted, folding his arms. “You kept shiverin’ though. Didn’t look too happy if ya ask me.”

“No kidding. We’re in the middle of Antarctica at midnight. If we weren’t angels we’d be frozen.”

“Look, Kyle, just…I mean, aren’t you cold? You ain’t had any experience with this kinda stuff, so…” Brady trailed off, timid in almost the same way he was when we spoke to God.

“Yes, I’m cold, and no, we’re not spooning. That’s kinda illegal,” I deadpanned. “Just stop starin’ at me when I try to sleep, alright?”

He scoffed in protest. “Alright, have fun freezin’ then.”

“Good. I think I will.”

“Then do it, idiot.”

“Shut up and I will!”

Brady turned around so that his back faced my head. “Fine! Go to sleep, you’re eatin’ time!”

I flipped him off. (Good thing he didn’t see that. I’m surprised God didn’t strike me with lightening just then.)

Steamed like a vegetable, I went to sleep, dreaming of nothing but funny colors painting pictures on the backs of my eyelids. And when I woke up, my back was aching, and my nose was running, but…despite all that, I was warm and toasty as if I’d been sleeping at a campfire.

I looked around me. Feathers obstructed my vision and then I realized something – Brady actually wrapped me up in one of his wings. And, okay, it wasn’t all bad, it was actually kinda cozy. I mean, I didn’t thank him or anything for it, just, I was kinda happy. ‘Cause it was pretty neat, you know?

I pushed the wing open and found Brady sitting on the ice, propped up on his hands and staring at the horizon. He looked back at me and kinda did this little smile thing. I did it back, too. “G’mornin’,” he greeted, as if letting me sleep in his wing was just the most normal thing ever.

“Are you a pedophile?” I slurred.

He looked at me like I was an idiot. “No, you kept shakin’ last night and cryin’ so I finally had enough and let you sleep in my wing. You shut right up,” he reassured, saying the last part so sickeningly sweet.

I stuck my tongue out. “I’m only human.”

“You’re an angel now, Kyle.”

Then, as morning set in upon my senses and Brady yawned after I did, I looked out to the rising sun and something else came to me.

How the hell were we gonna find St. James in five million square miles of ice?