I Can Transform You

POV: Frank

I raced to Lydia’s house as fast as I could, leaving Gerard behind. But he was not forgotten; my thoughts were completely divided between him and Lydia.

Part of me wished I hadn’t answered Lydia’s call and I was still with Gerard, getting hot and heavy, and the other part of me wished I had never even gotten intimate with Gerard in the first place. I shouldn’t have lead him on like that, but my mind was all over the place and I couldn’t decide what I wanted. Or who I wanted.

I pulled up outside Lydia’s house for a second time in one day and killed my car engine, jumping out of the driver’s seat without hesitation. I braced myself to be faced with Mrs. Ross and endure abuse again as I rang the doorbell, taking a deep, calming breath.

But it wasn’t Mrs Ross who answered the door this time; it was Lydia. And I wasn’t prepared to be faced with my girlfriend in floods of tears. Her eyes were red and watery and her face was pale and tear-stained. It was the first time I’d ever seen her with no make-up on too… The first time I’d ever seen her so emotional.

I wanted to comfort her, but I felt helpless. All I could do was step forward and take her into my arms, hugging her close while she sobbed into my chest. Just like Gerard did to me less than an hour ago. Today was clearly an emotional day for everyone, for different reasons. I wanted to know Lydia’s reason, but I was too scared to ask right away. I was thinking someone had died or was dying.

“It’s okay, baby, I’m here,” I spoke softly, holding her protectively.

We stayed in a tight embrace for a while longer, neither of us saying a word. Lydia finally stopped crying and everything was silent for what seemed like forever.

But then, she suddenly broke the silence with a declaration that hit me like an earthquake, destroying the shaky foundations of my young life.

“I’m pregnant.”

POV: Gerard

I was frustrated to the point of tears with Frank for walking out on me like he did, and even more frustrated with myself for trusting him. I should have known he’d pull something like that… But I was naïve and I fucking believed him. Every word he said. I thought he liked me and we had something special, but obviously, it wasn’t that special to him.

“Fuck you, Iero,” I cursed him under my breath, walking out of my room. The walls now held secrets that made my heart ache.

I was so distracted by my thoughts that I wasn’t paying much attention to where I was going. I vaguely registered my need for the toilet and headed in that direction, knowing the way from my bedroom to the bathroom like the back of my hand.

But my total lack of concentration resulted in me suddenly colliding with my brother in the hallway, who wasn’t paying attention either. He was in the middle of texting someone and the collision made his phone fly quite dramatically out of his hands and onto the floor.

“Gah!” He made a noise of surprise, and looked at me in alarm. “Gerard! What did you do that for?”

He looked like he wanted a genuine answer, as if I had purposefully abused him.

I blinked at him with a blank expression on my face, after overcoming the initial shock.

“I just felt like walking into you, obviously,” I retorted sarcastically, shrugging.

He sensed my sarcasm and rolled his eyes. Then, he bent down to pick up his phone and replied in a flat voice “I didn’t even know you were home.”

Well, I didn’t know he was home… How long has he been back?!

“Oh, I wasn’t. I just came home to walk into you. I’m going out again now,” I spoke in the same sarcastic, nonchalant manner.

Mikey furrowed his eyebrows at me, not amused by my inability to maintain a serious conversation.

“You’re hilarious,” he retorted with a full-on pokerface.

Then, suddenly, he narrowed his eyes and actually took a step closer to me, looking at my neck curiously. I recoiled with a deep frown on my face, wondering what he was doing.

“Is that a hicky?” He demanded, his eyes widening in disbelief.

Oh. I completely forgot about that… Bollocks.

“Wha- oh. Um. No,” I rambled quickly, my eyes darting back and forth suspiciously.

“Yes it is!” Mikey exclaimed, looking very intrigued. “Who gave you that?”

I really don’t want to get into this right now.

“N-no one. I… can’t remember,” I lied smoothly.

I knew Frank wouldn’t want me telling people the truth because he was most probably ashamed of his feelings for me and the fact that he cheated on his girlfriend. And quite frankly, I was ashamed too, with myself for giving into him… For falling for him.

“Oh. Well, that’s boring,” Mikey frowned at me, looking disappointed.

My brother is such a gossip whore. If he knew about me and Frank I guarantee the news would spread round the school within minutes.

“Yeah, um… Moving on,” I muttered, changing the subject quickly. “What are you doing home? No, wait, let me guess… You’ve fallen out with Alicia?”

Mikey is hardly ever home; he’s always round Alicia’s. So, my automatic assumption is of course that they’ve had an argument, like they always do.

“Yes,” he confirms straightforwardly. “But that’s not why I’m here… I came to find Frank.”

Urgh, why must my brother insist on talking about stuff I’m trying not to think about?

“What d’you wanna see him for?” I retorted stiffly, a look of dismay on my face.

Mikey raised his eyebrows at my obnoxious tone.

“Haven’t you heard the news?” He asked, immediately switching back to gossip-whore-mode.

I shook my head slowly, at a loss for what the news could possibly be that has got Mikey on the hunt for him.

“You know his girlfriend, Lydia?” Mikey began, looking excited by the drama he was close to revealing.

But I interrupted before he could say anything else.

“I thought they were on a break.”

Well, that’s what Frank told me earlier… Or was that just another thing he lied about to get me into bed?

“Really? Did he dump her when he found out she was pregnant?” Mikey enquired incredulously, digging for the dirt.

My heart actually froze for a second hearing Mikey’s words. I kept replaying them in my head, trying to get them to sink in, but it was too much. I could not believe what I had just heard.

“Lydia’s pregnant?” I choked, actually feeling sick to the stomach.

Oh my God, he cheated on his pregnant girlfriend with me?

And his pregnant girlfriend probably cheated on him with Matty... Which means that the baby might not even be his…

Oh Jesus, what has he got himself into?

There were so many things running through my head. All my thoughts were colliding, creating so many contradicting emotions.

Worry. Confusion. Anger. Sadness. Frustration. Regret. Guilt. Annoyance.

“Yeah, well, that’s what’s going round the school. I wanted Frank to confirm the rumours… Do you know where he is?” Mikey asked, looking hopeful.

He’s probably at Lydia’s... I bet it was her ringing him earlier, and he is there now, being told the life-changing news…

“I think he’s at Lydia’s,” I voiced my thoughts. “He left here like 10 minutes ago and I’m pretty sure he didn’t have any idea about this before he left…”

If he did know, he did a fucking good job at forgetting about it and keeping it a secret… And he’s even more of an asshole that I thought he was.

But something told me he didn’t know anything. I guessed that Lydia was telling Frank the news now… Which would explain why he had to leave so urgently.

I wondered how he was dealing with the unforgivable truth... Or if he was even being told the whole truth…

POV: Frank

“Frank… Please say something,” Lydia begged anxiously, sitting on the stairs with her head in her hands.

I’d lost track of how long I’d been standing there, staring at the floor in complete silence. I refused to meet her eyes… Refused to accept the truth.

How can I just accept the fact that I’m going to be a Dad? My life’s over, as far as I can see.

“What do you want me to say?” I asked blankly, feeling just completely lost all of a sudden.

She jumped to her feet and came back over to me, taking my trembling hands in hers.

“Say you’re not going to leave me… You’ll help me raise this baby,” she begged desperately.

Well, what choice do I have? I can’t walk away from this. I can’t go running back to Gerard like I want to… I’m fucking trapped.

I didn't speak for what seemed like minutes on end, but then I finally lifted my eyes up to meet hers, letting out a helpless sigh.

“I’m not going to leave you… I’ll help you raise this baby,” I told her exactly what she wanted to hear, though it took a lot to say it.

She looked overwhelmed, her eyes filling with tears of happiness. I was overwhelmed too, but the tears in my eyes were not ones of happiness or relief. They were the opposite.

“I love you,” she whispered, putting her arms round me and burying her face in my chest. My arms automatically wrapped around her too.

“I love you too,” I replied in a small voice, closing my eyes to keep the tears from falling.

I hate this fucked up situation, but I really do love her. That’s why I can’t leave her to do this alone… We’re in this together.

The only problem is… Gerard.

Where does this leave me and him?