I Can Transform You

Gossip

POV: Gerard

“Gerard!”

Mikey practically jumped on top of me when I walked through the front door, cornering me in the hallway, anger and confusion contorting his face.

“What the fuck was that?”

“Wha-?” I made a noise of surprise, taken aback by the abrupt confrontation and just, Mikey-out-of-fucking-nowhere.

“You just left! Dad was telling us his big news and you fucking disappeared off the face of the earth!” He shouted, holding his hands in the air questioningly.

I recoiled, slightly deafened by his sheer volume.

Mikey never raised his voice at me. Or anyone, for that matter. Clearly, he was pissed off with me. On a normal day, this might upset me, but not today. Not now, when I was too angry with Frank to give a shit about anything else. I’d lost the will to care.

“Something’s going on with you and I want to know what it is,” my brother added, pointing his finger at me accusingly, his eyes searching mine for an explanation for my erratic behaviour.

Being that I was in one of those ‘I-don’t-give-a-fuck’ moods, everything I’d been bottling up for the last few days suddenly just came pouring out.

“You wanna know what’s going on with me?” I spoke slowly, my eyes dark and haunting. “Alright, fine...” Brief pause. Deep breath. “I have feelings for Frank Iero.” Longer fucking awkward pause. “There you go.”

Talk about cutting a long story short…

Mikey just stood there and blinked at me a few times, slowly processing this absurd information that I never dreamed I would tell anyone about.

“Beg your pardon?”

He definitely was not anticipating a confession quite so shocking. He was understandably having a hard time getting his head around it, silently questioning himself about whether he’d heard me correctly.

“I have feelings for Frank, Mikey!” I snapped irritably, but it was myself I was angry with.

“Feelings…” Mikey repeated slowly, frowning at me uncertainly. “You mean…?” He trailed off, raising his eyebrows now.

“Yes,” I sighed vaguely.

Mikey continued to stare at me with raised eyebrows, taken by complete surprise.

“Oh man.”

Indeed.

“But, uh… I thought you hated him… Hasn’t he made your life a misery for, like, ever?” He asked hesitantly, clearly curious to know more, but feeling apprehensive about interrogating me. Even though he’s an expert interrogator, always digging for gossip on people. I’m just not usually one of the people he digs for dirt on.

I sighed again, realising I wouldn’t be able to get away with telling the short version of this story to Mikey. He would need to know every little detail, and I found that I actually wanted to talk to someone about it. It actually felt like a massive weight off my shoulders to get the dirty secret out in the open.

“I did hate him… Fuck, I still do! But every day I’ve been falling for him more and more… And now… Now I’m fucking in deep, bro,” I admitted in an urgent tone, looking at Mikey almost pleadingly. Desperate for his help, even though there was literally nothing he could do.

“So… so, you hate him… but you don’t hate him…” Mikey tried to clarify, trying to be understanding, but looking utterly perplexed.

I exhaled uselessly, wishing I could explain my contradicting feelings, but it was too complicated.

“I know; it makes no sense. I have no idea what the fuck even happened. I mean, one day I was intent on getting revenge on him, and the next I was going to third fucking base with him!”

That is pretty much how it happened… Way too fast for either one of us to stop it. Too fast for me to realise I’d lost my Goddamn mind…

What? Oh my fucking God, Gerard!” Mikey exploded, his eyes wider than I knew was humanely possible. “You- You got to third base… with Frank Iero?

That’s right, little bro. While you’ve been snooping round the school finding out boring secrets like Bob only showers once a week, your own brother has been hiding the most unbelievable secret from everyone...

He looked like he was on the verge of a fucking heart attack, his expression one of complete disbelief. I almost didn’t want to tell him any more, in case I killed him. There was quite a few more bombshells in the story, after all.

“Okay, Mikey, I understand this is a big deal and you are a gossip whore and everything, but I’m gonna need you to calm the fuck down,” I stated flatly.

He nodded wordlessly and gradually managed to control his face, but he was still too shocked to get a coherent sentence out.

“I’m sorry- It’s just- I can’t- What the fuck!”

“Seriously, stop saying things. Let me do the talking,” I retorted brusquely.

And for once in his life, he actually shut up and listened without making any interrupting outbursts. It was miraculous.

“Right. A couple of weeks ago, Frank made me an offer… He told me he wanted to transform me. To make me popular like him,” I started explaining, beginning at the start of the drama.

It felt like a lifetime ago that Frank had approached me with his proposition. Right from the beginning I didn’t trust that he was being genuine, but I had an ulterior motive, so I accepted anyway. I set myself up to be stabbed in the back, and guess what? I was.

“I thought he was full of shit. But I took him up on his offer, because it was the perfect opportunity for me to get revenge on him for the years of bullying.”

My initial goal was to destroy his reputation and ruin his life. And look where I am now… I’m finally in a position where I can give him that payment he fucking deserves.

“The problem was, after a few days hanging out with him, I realised we had a lot of stuff in common… I’m talking, like, real personal stuff. And we just formed this bond… I don’t know, I can’t explain it.”

It came out of fucking nowhere. Falling for him was like getting hit by a bus.

“And it all just got out of control. We couldn’t stay away from eachother,” I recounted, wishing I could go back in time and stay as far away from him as possible. “And uh, he ended up cheating on Lydia with me. He even fucking told me he loved me and wanted to be with me!”

He started all of this. He unleashed something in both of us: lust, envy, heartache, love.

“But yeah, then I found out that he only started hanging round with me to find out my secrets and spread them round the school… which he fucking did. He told everyone the things I’d told him about my past,” I mumbled regretfully, hanging my head.

Frank can deny it all he wants, I won’t believe him. There is NO way Matty could have found out my secrets without Frank telling him.

“Then, he spent hours fucking begging for my forgiveness and telling me he didn’t tell anyone what I told him. And we sort of kissed and made-up… But just now, when we disappeared together, he told me he got Lydia pregnant and that they’re getting married,” I finished flatly, trying to hide how completely crushed I really was.

So, now I’m back to square one. I’m getting my fucking revenge.

Mikey looked at me in complete awe, as if I’d just revealed I am in fact a woman. All of this was a lot to take in though, and I thought he’d done pretty well not to die of shock.

“Holy shit, Gee,” was all he managed to say.

“Yeah,” I agreed, even though there was nothing to agree with.

Everything was silent for a long time, both of us lost in our own thoughts about this fucking soap opera that was my life right now.

But then, Mikey broke his silence, finally regaining the ability to form coherent sentences.

“Sounds like things were a lot simpler when you two were enemies,” he mumbled, blinking at me a few times.

Ah, such excellent words of advice from my brother. Oh no, wait…

“Thank you for that helpful observation, Michael,” I retorted sarcastically. “You’re right, they were.”

I actually miss the days when Frank would throw a football at my head and I would hold my head high, acting like nothing had happened and he didn’t exist. I wish I could fucking pretend he didn’t exist now.

“You never told me you were… you know…” Mikey trailed off awkwardly. I raised my eyebrows at him. “…gay.”

I heaved a sigh and focused downwards, taking a sudden interest in my feet. My converse were quite interesting, to be fair.

“Well, I didn’t know for sure. But uh… yeah. I know now,” I replied, rubbing my neck out of nervous habit. It was hard to admit this. It’s never easy to come out of the closet for the first time. It’s a really fucking daunting process.

Mikey didn’t respond immediately and this made me panic slightly.

“Is that a problem for you?” I slowly lifted my gaze to take in his expression.

“Problem? For me?” He demanded dramatically, looking insulted. “No! I don’t- whatever. You know? It’s your life. I’ll support you whatever you choose.”

See, I knew there was a reason I loved my annoying brother.

“Thank you,” I half-smiled gratefully at him. “I was scared you would disown me as your brother or something.”

He chuckled lightly.

“Yeah, because I am clearly a raging homophobe,” he joked, rolling his eyes at me. I grinned and rolled my eyes too, mentally slapping myself for ever doubting my brother.

“Frank Iero, though… Jesus,” Mikey added, eyebrows shooting upwards again. “He and his friends are the fucking homophobes! I thought for sure he was straight…”

I nodded in strong agreement.

“He’s so fucking fake. He still won’t even admit his sexuality to himself,” I bitched, needing to vent my anger about him. “He’s determined that he’s not gay, even though the things he’s done with me are clearly gay. He’s just scared of what everyone will think of him.”

“Well, I think I would be scared too if I was him!” Mikey reasoned, and I glared at him. I did not need him sticking up for Frank in any way right now. “I mean, come on, his best friend is a fucking psycho who hates gays. And his girlfriend, who he has been with for years, is knocked up… So, coming out of the closet now would be pretty bad timing.”

I shrugged coldly.

“I don’t care. I’m gonna drag him out of that fucking closet if it’s the last thing I do,” I declared vengefully. "The whole school is finally going to see the real Frank Iero."

Mikey looked taken aback by this vengeance-seeking side to me. He’d never seen it before. Hell, I’d never had it before now. Frank Iero made me like this… He transformed me.

“And how exactly do you plan to do that?” Mikey enquired cluelessly.

I gave him an evil smirk.

“You’ll see.”

Literally.
♠ ♠ ♠
Hmmm. What's Gerard gonna do? ;)

Thaaankyou to my lovely commenters:
LiL_McR_FaN
Just.a.Kid
Tayyyyyy
rorschach's journal. (I purposefully said Gerard's house, because Frank is living with Lydia right now, and he never really considered the Way household his home :])
Psycho.
DustyBullet
IntentToStartAFire
Annalia
TheFabulousKilljoys
CollisionCourse
Sweet Pandemonium
cyanidexromance (bahah ;D)
XxBroken_FeathersxX
XxVesperusxX
Frankie's Gee.
cutelilblondey00
poisongirl24
Dumb_dumb
MaryxRAWR
violet vixen.
Chaotic Lover
KobraKid--