I Can Transform You

POV: Frank

Oh SHIT. Gerard just saw me crying!

I had to get the hell out of that house before he tried to ask me what was wrong. He almost seemed concerned about me, for some reason. Why the fuck does he care if I’m upset? Surely I’ve put him through too much shit for him to worry about my feelings.

I bet he thinks I’m a complete pansy now. I totally just destroyed my image as the 'tough-guy-that-will-fuck-up-anyone-who-looks-at-him-funny’ and became the 'over-sensitive-kid-that-cries-when-no-one's-looking'… which is not completely incorrect, but I don’t want Gerard to know how weak I really am. I don’t want to be vulnerable again.

Oh God, what if he thinks I was crying because he called me a fucking asshole? Dear Lord, he’s going to think he was the one that actually upset me, isn’t he?

Well, it wasn’t him. What he said to me didn’t bother me really, because I already know that I’m an asshole. Especially to him. And actually, he gained the slightest bit of respect from me for that comment and the fact that he stood up to me. It showed me that he’s not a complete coward.

But ultimately, it makes no difference to me whether he stands up for himself now or not… I’m still going to have to be extra abusive to him from now on to redeem myself and make up for that embarrassing display of emotions back then.

Making my escape, I got in my expensive car and speeded off down the road, deciding I needed a friend to talk to. A true friend. So I went to see my best mate Matty, who lives a few doors away from my old house… The house I never wanted to leave to move in with the Way’s. Yeah, fuck my life.

I pulled up behind Matty’s car in the driveway and killed the engine, before stomping my way to his front door. I was in a bad mood so I was hoping he would do his usual trick of cheering me up even when I’m the foulest of moods. He has a gift in that area.

I could have gone to my girlfriend’s house, but she’s pretty high maintenance and I’m not in the mood for one of her bitch-fits. Matty is the one I can always count on to cheer me up.

I pounded on the door three times, pausing briefly between each knock. It was my special knock; he would know it was me.

I knew he was in because his car was in the drive and the light was on in the hallway of his house, but almost two minutes passed before he came to answer the door. Considering I’m highly impatient, it didn’t help my bad mood at all.

Suddenly, I saw a blurred figure through the door slowly coming towards it. I could tell it was Matty even through the stupid pattern on the door, and the way he was taking his sweet time was annoying me.

Finally, he opened the door to me, but he only opened it the smallest gap and then he poked his head round.

“Oh, uh, hey Frank… What are you doing here?” he greeted me, looking surprised that I had showed up on his doorstep uninvited.

I wasn’t sure why he looked caught off-guard, because me showing up without an invitation was not a rare occurrence. It happened most days, in fact.

“I needed to get out of that fucking Way household,” I shuddered. “Are you hiding from the police or something?” I cocked an eyebrow at the shifty way he was acting.

Looking closer at him I also noticed that he looked a little flushed and out of breath.

“No, I just… was watching a scary film,” he rubbed his neck awkwardly.

My eyebrows climbed higher and disappeared behind my fringe at this comment. I never thought I’d see the day when Matty was scared... I'd definitely never seen it before. Looking at him, you wouldn’t even think it was possible for him to feel fear. He was a machine. Okay, maybe not, but he was a big lad. He wasn’t fat… Just ridiculously tall with muscles the size of me. I was pretty small in height for a dude and my muscles were normal human muscles.

Matty’s nickname was actually ‘The Muscle’, whereas people mostly just called me Iero, which was cool with me.

“Dude,” I smirked, shaking my head, amused.

See? Already I was in a slightly better mood and I had been talking to Matty for ten seconds.

“Well, let me in then, you big girl,” I commanded, pushing the door open more so I could squeeze past him to get into his house.

Even ‘The Muscle’ couldn’t hold me back… I was pretty strong for a small dude. And his house was practically my second home anyway, so I didn’t need to be invited in. I didn’t even need to be offered food; I knew I could just help myself. That’s how much like family we were.

“So… you didn’t last long at the freak household then,” he stated with a smirk, facing me in his hallway.

“No, and I seriously don’t know how I’m going to live there. Man, I have to share a room with Gerard! And there’s like no space for me, because of his fucking comic books and stupid Warhammer models all over the place!” I paused to take a breath; I could see this turning into a full-on rant about how much my life sucked right now.

“Ugh, that kid is such a fag,” Matty shook his head in disapproval, his homophobia typically controlling every thought in his mind about Gerard.

One of the main reasons Matty hates Gerard is he's convinced that he's gay. Gerard definitely doesn't do himself any favours; he acts like a out-and-proud homosexual, with the way he dresses and talks and stuff. But he's never actually come out of the closet. Which isn't all that surprising, since he's fucking gutless.

“Oh, and get this… he called me a fucking asshole earlier!” I revealed as if it was the most unbelievable thing I’d ever encountered.

It was pretty hard to believe though, considering I’ve been picking on Gerard for years and never received a response from him. I thought he was a mute, actually.

“Holy shit, he spoke?”

“Yeah! But it was pretty funny because his Dad overheard and made him apologise to me!” I snorted, shaking my head in amusement.

It’s pretty obvious that his Dad doesn’t want any trouble… He just wants a happy, peaceful home. That's too bad... He seriously doesn’t know what’s coming. Trouble is my middle name. Well, not really, my middle name is Anthony… But I prefer trouble.

“That’s hilarious!” Matty grinned. “Did you laugh in his face?”

Nope, actually, I cried in his face…

“Obviously!” I lied impulsively, diverting my eyes away from Matty’s for a second.

If he knew I cried I would never live it down. He would rip the shit out of me forever.

“Ha, brilliant!”

I forced a smirk and then turned away from Matty, starting to head towards his living room. Why were we still standing in the hallway anyway? My feet hurt… I wanted to sit down.

“So, what’s this scary film you’ve been watching then?” I asked, reaching out a hand to grab the handle and open the door to his living room.

“Wait, uh…” Matty tried to stop me from opening the door, but I didn't stop; I just frowned at him as I pushed it open.

The room was dark and my hand automatically found the light switch. My eyes fixed on the TV screen first and I saw that the film Matty was watching was Paranormal Activity.

"Ha, that film is not even scary!" I burst out laughing, upon realising how much of a pansy my best friend is.

I turned around to smirk at Matty, but a flash of blonde suddenly caught my eye and I glanced to the corner of the room and found a familiar face that I was not expecting to see...

“Lydia?” My laughter stopped abruptly and I blinked a few times at my girlfriend sitting on the sofa.

Now I was the one who was surprised.

She snapped her head towards me and then to Matty in the doorway, wearing the same look of surprise on her face that Matty had had when he opened the door and saw me. Did they both forget that I existed or something?

“Frank!” she exclaimed after a short silence, jumping to her feet and coming bounding over to me.

“Uh, hey… What are you doing here?” I asked in bewilderment as she threw her arms around me, her long, blonde hair attacking me.

I didn’t immediately know what to do with my arms. I just held them out with the palms of my hands facing the ceiling, gesturing my confusion. And before I could decide what to do, the hug was broken by Lydia pulling away from me to look at me with those big, blue eyes of hers.

“I was bored, so I came to see Matty,” she answered brightly. “Y'know, to watch a film and have a good catch-up.”

A good catch-up? I wasn’t even aware they were very close friends… I mean, sure, they see eachother at school in lessons and stuff, and they’re sort of casual friends because they’re both close to me and we’re in the same gang of people. But I didn’t think they were the ‘meeting up without me’ type friends...

I'm not sure how to feel about this revelation.

“Well, why didn’t you call me? I would have come and entertained you,” I pointed out, furrowing my brow.

“I know, baby, but I didn’t want to bother you, because I know you had a lot going on today, what with moving in to your new house and everything,” she explained quickly.

I didn’t say anything. I just folded my arms; a gesture that demonstrated how unimpressed I was with this exclusive situation. I didn’t like that they had basically gone behind my back.

“Sorry we didn’t tell you, man,” Matty broke the short, awkward silence.

“Yeah, I'm sorry if you feel left out, babe,” Lydia apologised in a sickeningly sweet voice that she knows I can never resist.

Still, I could have stayed in a bad mood if it wasn’t for the next words to come out of Lydia’s mouth.

“I’ll make it up to you.”

“Oh, will you?” I cocked an eyebrow curiously.

“Do you want to stay round mine tonight?” she invited, looking at me with a suggestive smile that automatically translated her words to “do you want to get laid tonight?” in my mind.

“Uh, yeah, okay,” I accepted, jumping at the chance.

What can I say? I’m a teenage boy… I have sexual needs.

I turned to Matty, with a smirking look on my face that said “score!” but he didn’t smirk back. He just glared at me. He had always been jealous of mine and Lydia’s relationship, just because he didn’t have a girlfriend himself to attend to his sexual needs.

There was a brief, uncomfortable silence, which I quickly decided to break.

“Right… Well, it was nice seeing you, mate,” I told Matty, taking hold of Lydia’s hand and leading her towards the exit.

“You didn’t stay long,” he grunted as we walked past him.

“Yeah, well… you know how it is,” I grinned, glancing at Lydia beside me and then back to Matty, wiggling my eyebrows.

This made Lydia hit me in the stomach lightly with the back of her hand.

“Stop it,” she hissed, referring to the way I was bragging.

I smirked at her.

When we reached the front door and I reached out to open it, Matty spoke up again.

“Lyds, we haven’t finished watching Paranormal Activity!”

Lyds? …What the fuck?

“Sorry, Matty, maybe some other time?” my girlfriend replied over her shoulder.

I didn’t like the idea of them continuing this little date alone again some other time, so I decided to cut in at this point.

“Yeah, we’ll make a night of it. Get all the gang here!” I declared in a tone that told them it was not open for discussion, waving goodbye hurriedly. “Later, dude.”

It was obvious that I was overly eager to get back to Lydia’s and have her ‘make it up’ to me, but that was because I was so desperate for my mood to be brightened. I was still thinking about what happened before at Gerard’s house and I needed a distraction.

Lydia was the perfect distraction from all my problems and bottled up emotions I didn't want to feel.