I Can Transform You

POV: Frank

By the time Mikey got back to the boys’ toilet, I had managed to get off the floor, but I was shaky on my feet. I doubled over one of the sinks, standing with my hands gripping it tight, and just staring in the mirror in front of me at my own disgraceful reflection.

I looked so ugly, with my face completely stained with blood and tears, and my nose broken and disfigured. I actually had to resist the rash urge to smash my fist through the glass, because I couldn't stand the person staring back at me. But I knew that would solve nothing; my reflection would still be there, it would just be cracked. So, instead, I just splashed my face with cold water and tried feebly to wipe away the evidence of a broken friendship and a broken heart.

When I heard the door creak open, I instantly froze in panic, because God, if anyone else saw me like this, I would slam my head into a wall until I blacked out (and then preferably never wake up).

But my eyes fell on Mikey and relief flooded through me. That was, until I saw the apologetic expression on his face.

“What?” I asked anxiously, my heart sinking hard and fast. Why was he looking at me like that? Had his talk with Gerard really gone that bad? “What happened?”

What did he say to Gerard? And more importantly, what did Gerard say to him?

“I'm sorry, Frank... I tried to talk my brother out of his plan for revenge… But he’s being a fucking asshole about it,” he sighed, not really satisfying my need for detail.

I took a deep breath and straightened up slowly, staring down, rather than at Mikey’s pitying gaze.

“Oh,” I responded quietly, furrowing my eyebrows in thought as I tried to process the many conflicting emotions colliding within me. There was fear, and of course there was sadness, but then, surprisingly, first and foremost, there was empathy.

"I don't blame him," I admitted slowly, the words sinking in as I said them out loud for the first time.

Yes, it was surely going to kill me, but I understood Gerard’s vendetta against me and I didn't blame him for this. I knew he needed to get revenge somehow to resolve some of the pain I caused him. I blamed myself.

“I mean, I’ve been a fucking asshole to him right from the start,” I added, glancing at Mikey briefly to let him see the empathy, as well as the deep regret and guilt, in my eyes.

But he just frowned at me, as if I was talking another language. Clearly he was not understanding why I was being so understanding.

“That's not the point... Two wrongs don’t make a right!” he exclaimed in exasperation, shaking his head adamantly. “Do I need to get that saying fucking tattooed on my face or what?” He raised his eyebrows expectantly, like he was genuinely looking for an answer for that ridiculous question. I could only assume that he had had this same conversation with Gerard five minutes ago.

“I will pay you £1000 to get that tattooed on your face,” I replied seriously, seizing the chance to make the conversation more light-hearted with both hands.

What kind of fucking moron gets a tattoo on their face? Let alone one that says “two wrongs don’t make a right”… Like, sorry, who d’you think you are, Jesus?

“Fuck off, that shit’s worth at least 10,000,” Mikey scoffed, and I cracked a smile at his insulted expression. “But seriously, how can you be okay with Gerard showing the whole school a video you declaring your love for him?”

Well, that wiped the smile right off my face and caused me to suddenly choke on nothing.

“He – what?”

I never said I was okay with that, dear God… A video of me and him? To the whole school? Oh my fucking God. He’s really outdone himself with this revenge business...

“Wha - where the fuck did he get that?” I demanded, wide-eyed and pretty fucking mind-blown.

I can’t say I’ve ever noticed him with a video camera when we’ve been together…

“I don’t know,” Mikey mumbled helplessly, and I continued to stare at him in disbelief.

This is insane. A video of me declaring my love for Gerard? Oh man. When did I – wait. I’ve only told him I love him once. And that was in school yesterday… In a classroom in the Math block…

Oh. FUCK my life, the school CCTV cameras! How did I forget they were there? WHY did I even open my big mouth and declare my love for Gerard in school anyway?! These fucking walls can never keep a secret.

“Oh shit, this is bad,” I continued rambling in panic, starting to pace back and forth, mentally searching for a way out of this mess. “I need to – ugh, I don’t know.”

I supposed I could try and steal the tape from Gerard… But for some strange reason, I felt like that would be wrong of me. As if it was right of him to shame me in front of the whole school. I just - I felt kind of like… I deserved the humiliation. And maybe my fellow peers deserved to see the real me... And well, Gerard certainly deserved to get his revenge.

Maybe, in some fucked up way, this was for the best and everyone was getting what they deserved…

Justice.

And you know what they say; justice always comes at a price. Well, I accepted that I was the one who would be paying it this time.

“I – I need to go,” I stammered, shaking myself out of the daze I had fallen into.

This school was starting to feel like a prison cell on desolation row more and more by the second. I knew my time in this place was limited, but suddenly, that didn't seem so bad... Whoever said the end of the world was a bad thing? I could see the light at the end of the tunnel now. A moment of truth from the consuming lies. Freedom.

I suddenly knew exactly what I needed to do, and I almost tripped over my own feet in my haste to leave. I was now a man on a mission.

“Frank, wait-”

I didn’t wait; I ran. Out of the toilets and down the corridor, away from Mikey and away from everyone. Throughout my whole school life, I'd always been the 'popular one' with crowds of people surrounding me at all times, but those days felt like nothing but a haunting memory now.

It was finally time for me to be completely alone now... Time to be true to myself and admit that I'd never really had anyone to rely on this whole time. My whole life was a lie that I'd been telling myself, as well as the rest of the world; it was always inevitable that the truth would destroy everything.

My fate was sealed, but I was going to embrace it with open arms... By the time those motherfuckers saw the real Frank Iero, I would be long gone.