I Can Transform You

POV: Gerard

Two days had passed since Frank had stormed out of the house after I walked in on him crying, and he hadn’t shown his face at the house since. I could only assume he was too embarrassed and pissed off to make an appearance.

But embarrassment is no excuse to ignore his Mum’s calls; he was refusing to answer his phone and tell her where he was, and she was going out of her mind with worry. Even I was a little worried, just because I was the last one to see him and he was clearly upset about something… So, for him to just disappear like this is unnerving for me, even though Frank-free days are usually my favourites.

It was Sunday evening and the stressful weekend was coming to an end. I was under the impression that my Dad and Frank's Mum had gone to the pub for happy hour, and Mikey was round his girlfriend's house, leaving me in the house alone... So I gave into my teenage boy hormones and started my own ‘happy hour’, which didn't involve drinking at the pub; just me, my bedroom and an x-rated movie. (But maybe ‘happy hour’ is a bit of an exaggeration, because it really doesn’t last an hour… Maybe 'happy ten minutes' is a better name for it.)

Unfortunately for me, I was mistaken that I was in the house alone.

I had literally just pressed play on the tape and pulled my pants down when there was a loud knock at my bedroom door, which, quite frankly, made me jump a mile in the air.

"Who is it?" I demanded in alarm, pulling my pants back up hastily whilst also kicking the power button on my TV with my foot.

"Linda," came the reply, making my eyebrows furrow.

What does Frank's MUM want?!

"Uh, just a second," I called back, jumping off my bed and doing up my pants before shuffling over to open the door.

I was thankful for the lock on my door, because it meant Ms. Iero couldn’t just come barging in during my 'happy ten minutes'... sweet Jesus, I would have fucking died of embarrassment if she did. But still, I didn’t appreciate the disturbing knock at my door.

I glanced over at the TV in paranoia to make sure it was definitely off before I opened the door very slightly and peered through the gap at Frank's Mum.

“Hi, Gerard. I was just wondering if you had heard from Frank yet...?” she spoke immediately, looking at me with a hopeful expression.

Why would I have heard from Frank? Seriously, does she think me and him are friends or something?

“Um, no… sorry,” I mumbled, shuffling uncomfortably on the spot.

“Oh. Well, your Dad told me that you and him had a falling out on Friday, and that he seemed quite upset before he stormed out…” she continued slowly, narrowing her eyes at me.

So, she interrupted my jerk-off session to indirectly accuse me of being responsible for Frank's disappearance act? I do not appreciate this.

“Uh, Frank and I fall out every day. It’s no big deal,” I sighed, trying to act like it was something that didn’t bother me, when, in fact, enduring abuse from Frank every day did kinda get to me. “So, I doubt he was upset about that.”

…But what if he was?

“I thought the two of you were friends,” she frowned, making me frown too.

What in the world would make her think that?!

I shook my head slowly.

“Oh. Well, do you know what else he would be upset about?” she moved on swiftly, seeming to ignore the fact that I had just told her that me and Frank weren’t friends, which obviously meant I didn’t know his feelings and shit.

“No,” I answered automatically.

But then I played back the memory of walking into my bedroom and seeing Frank holding that photo frame and crying, and a realisation struck me for the first time.

“Oh, hang on,” I added on second thought, turning my back to the door and Linda to scan my room for the smashed photo frame.

My eyes rested on it lying flat on my desk, where I had put it. I shuffled across my room to pick it up and then took it back to Ms. Iero.

“I caught him staring at this, looking quite upset,” I shrugged, handing it over to her.

Immediately her facial expression changed from confusion to understanding. The photo was obviously a big enough clue for her. I was satisfied with the help I had provided, and I was just about to close the door in her face to resume my ‘happy ten minutes’, when, suddenly, she started talking again.

“I should have known this would be about his father. Frank’s not one to show his emotions often… He tries to keep everything bottled up inside. But I can see that he’s still struggling with the loss, even after six years,” she sighed, running her fingers through her hair as she looked at the picture.

I froze in the process of shutting the door as I took this new information in.

Frank lost his Father? How? Did he die? Or did he just leave Frank, like my Mother left me?

Curiosity got the better of me and I couldn’t help but ask “What happened to his father?” It was in a more of an intrigued way, rather than a give-me-the-dirt-on-my-enemy kind of way.

“He died,” Linda revealed forlornly.

I couldn’t help but feel sympathetic towards Frank after hearing this. He may be a dick to me, but I could see that he didn’t have the perfect life I thought he did; he had obviously been through some tough times.

Realising this made me feel a weird connection to him despite the fact that we had been enemies for years, because I realised that I had something in common with him: a troubled past.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” I apologised sincerely, dropping my eyes to look at the photo in the broken frame that Frank’s Mum was holding, focusing on the man that I now knew was Frank’s dad, who was laughing cheerfully in the photo.

I wanted to ask how he died, but I felt like I was prying too much. I could see that Linda was having a little moment, getting a bit emotional herself whilst looking at the picture.

I started to feel slightly awkward after a couple of minutes. I wanted to shut the door and restore my privacy, but I no longer felt like carrying out my plan to jack off. The mood for that was definitely ruined.

“I know Frank’s still torn up about his father, but he just keeps his feelings bottled up… He refuses to talk to me or anyone else about it,” Ms. Iero suddenly spoke again, in a slightly strangled voice.

Even though I hate Frank, my heart went out to him then.

“Over the last six years I’ve seen such a change in him… I barely even recognise my little boy anymore. His personality has transformed completely,” she continued, as a single tear rolled down her face.

This information was a significant insight into Frank’s world to me. I finally realised why Frank was such a hateful character; he was heartbroken. It was hard for me to believe that Frank wasn’t always the way he is now though, because obnoxious and hurtful is the only way I’ve ever known him to be.

I met Frank six years ago, at the start of high school, and I now realise that was probably the worst time period of Frank’s life; he was probably trying to come to terms with his father’s death at the same time as starting at a new school.

In a fucked up way, it made sense in my head that he was such a bully now. Obviously it doesn't justify his actions and the fact that he makes my life a living hell, but at least I can understand why he does it now... He wants to take his pain out on someone, and I guess I've just always been the easiest target around.

“I just worry about him. He’s been through a lot, and I don’t think he deals with his emotions in the right way…" Oh, YOU THINK? "He’s more sensitive than he wants people to know,” Linda added sadly.

I was still having a hard time adjusting to the idea of Frank being some kind of emo kid in the closet, because of his convincing hard exterior. After all, he’s the tough kid at school; the one that everyone is scared of. Who would have guessed it was all a cover-up?

I couldn’t help but wonder who knew of Frank’s underlying pain and troubled past. His gang of friends don’t really seem like the kind that would welcome a more sensitive side to him… They’re all fucking judgemental assholes.

"You know, Gerard, you're a nice boy... Frank could do with a friend like you," she added with a sad smile.

What the hell? Me and Frank... Friends?!

Part of me wanted to laugh at that, purely because Frank and I are enemies. It was absurd. Ridiculous. Just plain wrong.

But then, the other part of me was uncertain. Despite my negative feelings for Frank, I couldn't help but hesitate and debate the situation silently in my head.

What if all he needs is a real friend to talk to?

I suppose I could try to help him… It would probably be better for both of us. He’ll be happy that he has someone to talk to about his problems, and I’ll be happy because he'll stop taking his pain out on me.

But how often do things go according to plan for me? Oh, yeah, NEVER.

Whatever. It’s worth a shot, I guess. Even though the shot will most likely come from Frank... Something tells me he is going to shoot me down without a second thought.