I Can Transform You

POV: Gerard

Frank disappeared completely after his strange character-change in my bathroom, leaving me in an empty house yet again.

I was glad to be left alone though. I didn’t want Frank to keep bugging me about “transforming me” or whatever the fuck he was talking about. (I swear that kid has multiple personality disorder…)

I wandered into my bedroom and collapsed on my bed, which squeaked loudly in protest as it sustained my weight. I’m not fat, but I’m a little on the chubby side, and my bed likes to remind me of this every frickin’ time I sit down on it.

I let out a sigh and just lay down for a moment, staring at my ceiling and replaying everything that had happened today in my mind.

If I could re-do today, I would never bother giving Frank that photo frame, which is now sitting abandoned at the bottom of my bin. That’s my money down the drain, but he’s not grateful for it, so he’s not having it.

Being nice to people gets me nowhere, I swear. I might just start acting like a complete dick, like Frankie boy, and see where that gets me.

Oh, who am I kidding? I don’t have the guts.

The minutes crept by and the thoughts of Frank in my head continued to circle round and round, rapidly beginning to annoy the hell out of me. I couldn’t stop thinking about him.

Get out of my head! Jeeeez.

I realised after a while that I needed to voice my thoughts… I needed to talk to someone about everything that had happened.

Sitting up straight on my bed, I grabbed my laptop from my bedside table and started it up. Talking online was the easiest form of talking to Bob, because he was a computer nerd who spent the majority of his day playing video games online. Even Ray came on the internet every so often when he wasn’t too busy being a genius or manhandling his ‘fro.

My laptop took its sweet-ass time starting up, and I was about to explode in suspense and desperation to tell Ray and Bob what had happened, when eventually, it finished loading and the window for msn popped up. I practically punched the sign in button.

I had barely logged into msn before Bob’s username suddenly came up on my screen straight away, as if he was lurking around waiting for me to sign in like some creepy stalker.

Bob-o-san says: Oh, Geraaard. You make my heart burnnn.

Why? Just wh-

Okay, you know what? Don’t question Bob. He comes out with the most random shit ever.

Bob-o-san says: Do you like my song? :)

I blinked a few times at the computer screen before shaking myself out of the confused trance I’d fallen into.

Geetard says: It’s genius, Bob.

I pressed the enter key and sent my sarcastic response, but I didn’t stop typing because I didn’t want to give Bob chance to say some more random shit; I wanted to launch straight into my story.

Geetard says: Dude, you will not BELIEVE what has happened to me today.

Me and Bob have been friends for 10 years; there’s no need to make shitty small talk or follow the diabolical structure of a typical msn conversation. (A.K.A: “hey” “hi” “hows u?” “good thnx, u?” “fine thnx” “gdgd” “:)” “wubu2?” “nm, u?” “nm”) That sort of conversation makes me die inside. But hey, that’s what the ‘block’ button on msn is for.

Bob-o-san says: You fell in your toilet and transformed into a unicorn?

What the f-
No, Gerard, don’t question him.

Geetard says: Pfft, that happens every day. But no, THIS… This is huge.

I was in a dramatic mood suddenly and I wanted to build the suspense as high as I possibly could and big my story up.

Although, when people do that, the actual story seems pretty lame in comparison to the built-up suspense and you sound like an asshole…
Meh.

Bob-o-san says: Okay, NOW I’m intrigued…

I took this as my cue to dive into the story completely.

Geetard says: Right, well, basically, I bought Frank Iero a new photo frame (cuz I broke his and I felt bad) and I gave it to him at school today, and he was pretty nice about it to start off with. He said thanks and stuff...

Typically, I found myself starting to ramble, but it couldn’t really be helped because it was a long story. So, I tried to break it down into smaller parts so that it was easy for Bob to follow (and for me to over-dramatise).

Bob-o-san says: Frank Iero being… nice?! O_o That’s insane.

Well, wait for me to finish!

Geetard says: Yeah, but then his friends came along and he completely changed and was like “oh stop kissing my ass”

Geetard says: So then his twattish friends beat me up :/

I paused after sending that, staring at the laptop screen, waiting for a response from Bob this time. He was quick to reply; he’s a fast typer.

Bob-o-san says: What the hell! That two-faced little fuck! Urgh. Are you okay, man?

‘Frank Iero, the two-faced little fuck’... Oh that name has quite a ring to it. It sums him up nicely; he’s two-faced, he’s little, and he’s a fuck…
Genius!

Geetard says: Yeah I’m fine. That fire alarm saved my ass... I was saved by the bell quite literally. I managed to get away with nothing but a bleeding nose and lip.

And a bleeding wrist… But that one was pretty much my fault.

Okay, so, maybe I lied when I just said I was fine…

Bob-o-san says: You should really tell someone about the bullying. It’s gone on long enough.

I’ve never told anyone before because I know that it would be hard to prove that they’re bullying me; Frank and his cronies would just deny it, and every fucker in school would side with them. And then I’d really be in the shit with them…

Yeah, I’m a spineless fuck basically.

Geetard says: Hmm. Things just got interesting though…

Here I go again with the suspense building…

Bob-o-san says: Whaddya mean?

My fingers attacked he keys on my laptop at a fast pace, seeming to suddenly become impatient with my own decision to over-dramatise everything. My response, therefore, was pretty blunt.

Geetard says: Frank just came and found me and apologised.

My eyes swept over the words on the screen that I had just sent Bob and I almost didn’t believe them myself… I actually read the words and was like “no way!” as my instinctive reaction. I guessed that if I was shocked by my own frickin’ words, Bob was going to be shell-shocked.

Bob-o-san says: Omg really? What the fuck?!

Well, I think I guessed right…

Geetard says: Yeah, really! I know right, wtf?

Reading over mine and Bob’s words again I realised that the conversation was starting to become a girl’s gossip session... I actually sounded like a 14 year-old girl.

Not cool, man.

Bob-o-san says: Maybe he’s up to something..

Geetard says: Oh he’s definitely up to something. Man, he fucking asked me if I wanted to be part of his gang!

Okay, I still sound like a 14 year-old girl, but at least now I’m a slightly more hardcore one that says the f word…

Bob-o-san says: Are you shitting me?

Geetard says: No! He said he could make me popular!

I still see no reason why Frank Iero would want to make me popular. He said he’s doing it because he wants to change… But how will making me popular change him? Surely I’m the one being changed…

Bob-o-san says: =O <- That’s me staring at the computer screen with my mouth wide open right now.

Oh he paints quite a picture, doesn’t he?

Geetard says: My face is more like this -> =S

Now is definitely an s-shaped-mouth time…

Bob-o-san says: Srsly, though, he’s a shifty fucker. Don’t trust him, Gerard.

Geetard says: Don’t worry, I won’t. I told him to fuck off!

Bob-o-san says: That’s probably the smartest thing to do.

I found myself nodding at my laptop screen in agreement, then I realised that Bob couldn’t see me, so I started to type my response. But at the bottom of the window it said ‘Bob-o-san is typing, so I stopped typing and waited to see what else he had to say.

Bob-o-san says: Although…

My fingers hovered over the keyboard still, waiting for Bob to continue. It still said he was typing, but he was taking his time with it, and I was growing impatient.

Geetard says: …Although what?

It’s so annoying when someone leaves you hanging in suspense.

Wait, looks who’s talking! I just aimed to build suspense with my account of today, so I’m a hypocrite!

Okay, I just owned myself…

Bob-o-san says: You could actually take him up on that offer.

I had to read that response at least 5 times to check my eyes weren’t deceiving me. When I was forced to come to the conclusion they weren’t, I was extremely confused and a deep frown contorted my face.

Geetard says: Are you insane?

Why in the world would I take Frank up on that offer? Bob just told me not to trust him, and I don’t!

Bob-o-san says: Yes, but just hear me out…

Bob-o-san says: If you went along with his plan, you could finally get revenge!

Get revenge… on Frank? That sounds like a risky little game... But I’m very intrigued.

Geetard says: Keep talking…

Bob-o-san says: Well, if you hang around with him for a few weeks or whatever and let him “make you popular” then you could find out more about him…

Well, I couldn’t care less about Frank so I don’t want to find out more about him… And I don’t really wanna hang around with him…
So I’m not loving the plan so far.

Bob-o-san says: And you could uncover his secrets and then spill them to the whole school! You could ruin his reputation completely if you found out something bad enough...

Ruin Frank’s reputation?
Okay, the plan just got slightly more interesting…

Bob-o-san says: OH or even better, you could STEAL his reputation! If he keeps his word and actually makes you popular, you could gradually push him out of the picture and take his place as the most popular kid in school! And you can get rid of his army of dipshits and make me and Ray popular too… kthnx.Steal Frank’s reputation?
Okay, this is officially the best plan ever.

Geetard says: Now THAT would be some sweet revenge!

Geetard says: …But I do not see that working somehow.

There are so many ways this plan could go wrong… For one thing, we’re actually trusting Frank’s word to make me popular by going ahead with this plan, and I bet Frank doesn’t even keep his word!

Bob-o-san says: I think it could. But only if you take things slow and don’t be too obvious. You have to be convincing though… He needs to believe you’re his friend. But don’t give any secrets about yourself away, because anything you say he could use against you…

Jesus Christ, it’s as if Bob has been sitting alone in a dark room, plotting this revenge for years!

*Torosaurus has just signed in*

*Bob-o-san has invited Torosaurus to join the conversation*

I completely missed these two messages on the screen, so I was oblivious to Ray’s presence when I sent my response.

Geetard says: Bob, you are an evil genius!

Bob-o-san says: Why thank you. *Evil laughter*

I actually started laughing then because I could hear Bob’s evil laughter in my head, and it was more of a retarded witch cackle.

Torosaurus says: Alright, what am I missing? :|

This made me laugh too, because I hadn’t realised Ray was even in on the conversation. (I swear he just pops up outta nowhere at the most random times…) I could just imagine his ‘what the fuck’ face in my mind.

I started to type an answer to Ray, but Bob beat me to it.

Bob-o-san says: Gerard’s gonna ruin Frank Iero’s reputation and then become the most popular kid in school.

Casual and straight to the point… Typical Bob!

Torosaurus says: Yeah, and I’m going to become the Queen of England.

Sarcastic and determined to destroy my unrealistic aims in life… Typical Ray!

Geetard says: Your sarcasm is dampening my positive attitude towards my plan of revenge, Ray -_-

In other words… Don’t piss on my parade!

Torosaurus says: Are you telling me you’re being serious?

Geetard says: Indeed

Torosaurus says: *Head-desk*

A mental image of Ray banging his head on his desk entered my mind suddenly, and I ended up smirking slightly, even though Ray was destroying my confidence in the plan completely.

I thought it was a good plan… But it was a long shot. Like, a really long shot. A mile long shot. But even if I didn’t fulfil the aim and hit the target, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. I didn’t really have anything to lose, as far as I could tell.

Ultimately, it was worth the shot because I had the perfect opportunity to cause damage to Frank Iero’s reputation… To get even once and for all.

Three cheers for sweet revenge!