Lead the Way

I sat in the same spot just watching Jimmy and being amazed by the beauty that he was and I didn’t know really what to think and when I was watching him I didn’t have to think anymore. I just had to be me. I just had to be there. Matt finally announced that the show was over and I stood up brushing my self off and snuck out to the back of the arena.

I stood their flipping my phone open and closed closing my eyes and trying to push back any feelings of fear that I was having at the moment. Jimmy promised he’d be out here, He wouldn’t let me down not after… My thoughts were cut off as I herd the door open and shut again.

“Riley?” His voice was soft and cautious like he knew he was doing something he shouldn’t be.

“Over here Jimmy.” I said softly as I moved and touched his arm allowing him to see where I was. He turned to look at me and before I could even breath his arms wrapped around me and he held me close. I could almost feel my knee’s give way as he held me. It had been so long since he’d even touched me that I wasn’t sure I was going to be able to stand on my own to feet much longer.

“I’m so sorry” he whispered pressing his face into my hair and holding me against him. I leaned my head against his chest and closed my eyes slowly letting my self wrap my arms around his body. I drew in a deep breath smelling the soft smell of cigarettes, his deodorant, and just well the way Jimmy smelled.

“Don’t be.” I managed to whisper out to him as I pressed my self into his arms even further trying to bite back the tears that threatened to flow down my face. “Just don’t let go.”

“I won’t and I’m sorry. I should have protected you better” He whispered into my ear holding me closer than he ever had before as if that was going to take away all the pain that I’d been through.

“Jimmy what’s going on?” I asked in a soft unsure voice pressing my face to his chest unsure of really what else I could even say at this point. I was beginning to feel like there really wasn’t anything I could say at this point. Jimmy slowly pulled away giving me a soft look and setting his hand on my cheek stroking it softly.

“There is a lot going on right now Riley. The one thing I need you to understand is that I’m with Leana to protect you.” I looked at him shaking my head there was no way it was possible that he was with her to protect me. Why would he make him self miserable and hurt me in order to protect me it didn’t make any sense.

“What do you mean?” The look on my face must not have been what he wanted to see because he let out a heavy sigh and began to search for something to say to make me feel better or fix what he had just said.

“Leana threatened me alright. I have two choices brake up with her and all hell will break lose and she’ll keep coming after you or I can stay with her and she’ll stay away from you.” He looked at me desperately trying to make me understand.

“Wait…What?” My eyes grew wide as I looked at him trying to make sense of the situation.