A Loaded God Complex

Hours had passed since I was at Raya's house. I found Nicole and kept her from talking to Pete, honestly, it wasn't that hard to do. I simply told her that I wanted to hang out with her and only her. She didn't protest. We watched MTV, a channel I didn't get at my house, together until the start of the game. Nicole was in the field marching band, so I thought I was on my own to find Raya. That was until I saw Pete lurking in the shadows of the student end of the bleachers too. We stood by each other and didn't speak much, yet it didn't feel like earlier. He seemed more relaxed, more cool.

I had never been to a football game before and it was crowded. Bugs buzzed around the big stadium lights, bulbs were burnt out on the score board, and people were wrapped in blankets. Most of the town was there and only a small section of the bleachers were dedicated to the away-teams family and friends. Chants and stomps echoed to the below where I was standing while cheerleaders swished their pom-poms. It was all quite fascinating, still during huddles and time-outs I searched the crowds for Raya. There was no luck. That was until half-time.

"Mas, I'm going to go out by the fences to watch the field show." Pete motioned and started walking away.

"Re-member Warrior fans that there's merchan-dise by the entran-ces, food down be-low at the concession stand, and face paint-ing! For every dollar 1 made student coun-sel will donate 75 cents to the home-less shelter!" The man's voice was nasally and high-pitched, the speaker clicked off and I saw him leave the booth.

More people started swarming down to the concession stands and bathrooms. I knew where Raya would be. I began to make my way to the middle of the bleacher section, but was stopped short. Very short.

"Kirche," Travis McCoy shoved a tattooed hand on my chest. His buddies surrounded me and started pushing me around.

Soon other kids from school gathered around and started screaming profanities at me to encouragement of beating me. I was loosing it, my feet were stumbling, and I searched for help. None of the adults seemed to be moving very quickly to stop the situation. In fact, some of them were simply turning a blind eye to it. A few cups of soda and bags of popcorn fluttered down from the upper seats of the stadium landing on me and peers leaned over to see the spectacle. The soda hit my shoulders like an icy coat had been put on me.

"Stop!" I cried and felt my hands skid on the concrete, "Raya?!" I called hoping she was near.

The crowd parted a little and I saw Pete jump into the circle with me. He held out a hand for me to get up and then we faced back to back. I wasn't sure exactly what we were going to do, but at least this way we couldn't be beaten as badly. He was about to throw his first punch when the speaker system screeched causing the crowd to cover their ears and the music to stop. The marching band stopped what they were doing and stood at a limp and confused attention. There was sigh before a long listed started.

"Drugs, infidelity, homosexuality, wet-lock, fraud, shoplifting, suicide, eating disorders, divorce, prison, abuse," Her tone was deadly and accusing as she went on with her list.

She never mentioned any names, but the audience was in a permanent gasp, as if it was the voice of God speaking. When the initial effect wore off they all started glancing around at each other with guilty faces. Pete still had his fists ready for action and I wanted to run home.

"You think it's ok to do that to him? All of you," She paused and her voice became even darker, "Act so righteous."

The football team came jogging down the sidewalk back to the field and then walked with helmets gripped in their hands and stopped to listen to Raya.

"Well, don't any of you dare think you're perfect or better than anyone, for that matter, for one second," The announcer had finally made it back to the booth and was pounding on the door. Raya clicked her tongue and set the speaker down with a thud, "What a loaded God complex," She muttered and turned the speaker off.

I ran under the shadows and hopped the fence. My diaphragm was shaking and I sobbed one more time to myself as I found a tree to hid behind. I wiped my eyes and told myself to stop crying. I had forgotten what this type of embarrassment was like. I had had plenty of self-embarrassment, but that just good for a person; Torturous and cruelness inflicted by others wasn't. I waited a minute more to see what was happening.

Whispers flurried and stares were given as Raya lumbered down the stairs to ground level. She passed the student council table where two fellow members were had gotten out of their seats and had stood to listen. She made her way over to Pete, who was still looking in the direction that I ran. His shoulders were still tense, but otherwise he seemed at ease. Raya must have asked where I was because Pete pointed. She squinted to see if I was anywhere. When she didn't see me she departed and walked to the parking lot with her hands in her jacket pockets.

The regular announcer's voice cracked as he thanked the marching band and introduced the already there football players onto the field. I leaned against the tree and ran a hand through my sticky soda filled hair. I wanted to go to Raya's house, but I was too shaken to see anyone. After I heard the first whistle and cheers arose from the crowd again I started to walk home.

The fall chill was nipping at my nose and a few headlights beamed for a brief second past the trees into the trail I was walking. I shivered and couldn't stop replaying the game. The last thing Raya said was still working itself out in my head. It just couldn't be true, there had to be something wrong with me, people don't just do that. A person just wouldn't hate me just because. That just couldn't be true. No one could be that evil or insecure.