A Loaded God Complex

Nicole and Raya were trying to make conversation, while Pete every now and then glanced up from his magazine to glare mostly at me, and I played with my food. Our relationship was hugely strained lately. I just couldn't find his sarcastic, pessimistic jokes funny anymore, and they seemed to be a little more mean-hearted lately.

"So, what are you doing tonight after school? Going to the football game?" Raya intended it for the whole group.

"We loose every year." I told her. She was sitting next to me facing Pete directly. If it was coincidence I don't know.

"I was thinking of seeing Betty." Nicole replied lightly, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"Cool." Raya smirked and nudged me, "What about you?"

"My mom wants me to hang out with Jessie." Accidentally cutting a piece of the school's salty ham too relentlessly, it fell over into a pile of peas. Raya gave a sympathetic look, I told her everything: about how my mom wanted me to fall in love and marry her, and how much of a bore she was.

"And Pete?" Nicole attempted to graciously include him in the conversation.

He set down the magazine, the spine of it making a sound on the table, "I have therapy tonight." He then brought it back up to his face, holding it closer than it should have been. Past the corners of it I could see wrinkles around his eyes.

"Other than the game I don't have anything going on tonight." Raya came to the realization as she tapped his fingers on the table.

The bell promptly rang relieving Raya and Nicole of their duties keep things manageable. The rest of my day dragged, yet when it was done I wished it wasn't. Avoiding getting in trouble, I didn't try to stall by talking to Nicole or Raya after school, I just went straight home. Entering the garage, of our single level home, there was no car. I walked into the house find Kaylee sitting at the counter doing her homework and Ben rummaging in the fridge.

"I thought Jessie was coming." Ben's head hit the top of the fridge. He came out and shut the door rubbing his head.

"She said she knew you weren't interested." Containing the urge to throw my hands up in the air, I kept it to a small shrug. Finally Jessica got the point and finally my mother understood too. "I could have had her…" He trailed on his way to open a cabinet to search.

"In your dreams." Kaylee broke concentration from her homework. Ben halted his mad search for food to shoot her a dirty look.

"Yeah, so where's Mom and Dad?" I shook my head, they had stopped their nonverbal bickering and went back to their tasks.

"They went to the city to see some doctor." Kaylee answered, pausing between the syllables in city to scribble something down.

"I heard them talking about another baby." Ben stood on tip-toes to reach something on the top shelf the he couldn't quite get.

"They're too old to have anymore kids." I scrunched my brow and knew that my parents were probably trying to fill the void that Catherine left when she went to college, if that's what it took to fix their marriage...

"I know, right!"

"I wouldn't mind a little sister." Kaylee debated defensively.

"Yeah, you'd be the one sharing a room." I noted. She didn't seem to care, being the last child she'd always wanted a younger sibling, "If they come back tell them I'm at Raya's, please."

"Yep."

"Uh-huh."

I took the long way to her house, so I could see if she was in the cemetery and to avoid the woods. When I didn't see her there I proceeded to her house. Again, I didn't see a car. This comforted me slightly. I opened the screen door and knocked on the closed wood door behind it. There was some rustling on the other side and a bewildered Raya answered the door.

"Hey," Her face quickly changed, "Come in!"

I followed her directions and latched the screen door so it didn't slam. Raya adjusted her shirt and brushed at her hair a little, I'd never seen Raya in a plain t-shirt, jeans and sweatshirt.

"I was just watching some TV. What's up?" She asked as we left his kitchen, not shutting door.

Not bothering to do it either I went to the only room that ever made me uncomfortable. Raya shut a book that was open on the coffee table and picked up her backpack. I stood in place in the middle of the room.

"Jessica told my mom she wasn't interested anymore."

"Really?!" Raya half screamed, coming around the back of the couch to stand directly in front of me, "I say we celebrate." She was close enough I could feel her breath on my face and it almost was like I could feel the movement of each muscle of her lips when she talked.

"Ok." I concurred choking for words.

"I'm just going to go change back." She turned to the front entry of the house and I heard her make it halfway up the stairs, then stop, "You can come up." Her hair fell in her face as she peeked around the wall.

Jogging, I caught up to Raya on the stairs. Raya led us around a corner to a room next to the upstairs bathroom. I sat down on her bed while she searched through a mound of clothes on the floor from her previous outfit.

"We should go bowling, again." I flipped over to my stomach. Raya walked around to the other side of the bed that my feet were hanging off, to get into her closet.

I heard fabric sliding off her skin and I tried not to glance over my shoulder. It was just a reaction to look in the direction of a noise I reasoned, so I didn't have to have that empty feeling of confusion in me.

"We'll have to check and make sure that there isn't a league or anything before six. Are you going to the game tonig-" She snapped the button on her shirt and then sat down on the bed to put on her shoes. A stair creaked and Raya jumped, "Did you hear that?" Another one whined with a squeak and she started rushing. "My dad shouldn't be home yet!" Running, she flung open her slatted closet doors, "Mason get in." Raya whispered.

I did so. I had to push back on the clothes in order for her to shut the doors completely. The slats provided some light and I could still see to the room. Raya went over to her window and pushed away the lace curtain, turning back around she heaved a sigh. The relief only last momentarily as she walked out of her room to meet whomever was coming up the stairs.

"Pete, dude! You scared the shit out of me!" She laughed nervously and Pete tried to shared it too.

"Sorry," Their voices neared and I started reaching to open the door, "The door was open and the TV--" They were in the room and Pete hesitated, "I need to tell you something."

"Shoot." They stood in front of the closet and I could see Raya's hand stop in a hiatus on it's way to opening the door. Before she turned to face him, she gazed in where she thought I was in the small space.

"I was wondering if you'd… Well, I wanted to know if-" He was stumbling over his words, I knew what he was doing.

"Yes?" Raya pushed encouragingly. My hands urged to bust through the doors, yet I was utterly and completely stuck in a horrible anticipation.

He inhaled to the point of filling his diaphragm and pounced on to Raya's mouth. Squeezing my eyes shut and covering my face with my hands, I was trying to block out the sight I had just seen and was still happening. I sunk down. Landing on some shoes I heard someone running away.

"Peter! It's not-- gah damn it!" She shouted and I heard her trudge over to the closet doors. Opening my eyes must have opened other senses, because her usually pleasant smell overwhelmed me and sickened me, "You said he wasn't going to ask me out!"

Raya was staring expectantly to see me still standing. Bending down her knees popped, I saw her face. It made me happy to see Raya a little disgusted, still I had to take it back knowing that my friend was on the other end of it.

"Mason," She placed a hand on my cheek, "What's wrong?"

Turning my head away from it, I knew I had no logical reason, "I-I don't know. I just don't want you kissing him!" I snapped feeling stupid for trying to come up with one.

"Mas," I blinked hard, "Do you like me?" Raya shyly offered.

"What?" I whimpered, gripping around my knee tighter.

"Do you like me?"

"Yeah?" My curiosity was growing exponentially to see what she'd say and how'd she'd take it. I mean never really liked anyone before, well, when I was five I had a crush on Nicole. I don't think that counts though, and I it was most likely out of instinct to like the only other person who was nice to me.

"Do you want to kiss me?"

I thought hard about it for a moment and realized it, "Yeah," My voice was feeble in fear of being rejected, "I really want to kiss you."

Cupping both hands around my face, she held it tightly, but not hard, and slowly attached her lips to mine. I'd never kissed anyone. This was filling my undefined cravings to be close to her, I was wishing and wanting more, no matter what it was. It was a shorter kiss and when she pulled away every beat of my heart was apparent in my quaking body.

"Mason," Raya pulled away and looked me in the eyes, "I need you to find Nicole, and don't let her go to Pete's, ok."

"Ok."

"I'm going to talk to him."

"What? Why?" I snapped out of my haze and was trying to see what she was doing or why she'd still want to talk to him.

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do."

"Good, then can you find her?"

"He shouldn't have been home until 6:00 tonight." I shook my head and informed, Raya grasped around my shoulders.

"I know. But the damage is done. Can you just make sure Nicole doesn't try to find him or call him." She reinforced, "Oh! And don't tell her what you saw. I think that'd just make Pete's case worse. Will I see you at the game tonight?" Raya added.

Nodding vigorously, I got up and swiftly started heading out to find Nicole. Before I got completely down the hallway I darted back and caught Raya off guard, standing in her doorway. I wanted to try it again. Crashing my mouth to her, I could feel Raya grinning until it was big enough we couldn't kiss anymore.

"Mason! Go!" Raya blushed and beamed.

It was still a tad mysterious what was going on or what would cause this, but at least all of the feelings I had had some illumination. My feet led themselves to the nursing home as I pondered the all the things going through my head.