For The Love of The Game

“Where have you been all morning mi querido? I was about to give up and call Sergio myself.” I let out a sigh and closed my eyes as he used the little pet name he had for me, acting as if nothing was wrong.

“Why did you lie?” I cut him off before the first syllable of the next word came out of his mouth. I could tell that he was probably staring at his phone then putting it back against his ear in confusion.

“What?”

“You lied to me yesterday, and don’t even deny it, you know I can read you and your expressions better than your own mother! Now tell me the truth!” I raised my voice at the end so that he wouldn’t be able to tell that I was slowly breaking down. The anger was genuine though. I guess a short temper is something that runs in the family, both Sergio and I inherited that trait. There was a short pause before I heard him sigh into the phone. I heard him mumble something in Portuguese to someone and get back on the line.

“Please just promise that you won’t be upset, I didn’t mean for thi-“

“Ronaldo! Mi amor, please, just tell me the truth.” I was dying on the inside because I was constantly having bad scenario after bad scenario flashing in my head, each one worse than the one before it.

“I ran into Avelina on the plane.” He paused to wait for my reaction to her name, the name of his ex-girlfriend, ‘the only one he ever loved before me’. He didn’t need to say anymore for me to know where this story was going. I dropped the phone and leaned my back against the wall by the door of my bedroom, sliding down to cradle my knees to my chest as the tears started to freely flow. I could hear him pleading for me to just listen to him, but I couldn’t bring myself to hear his voice. I had to know how though, I wouldn’t be able to sleep without knowing, so I slowly placed the phone back to my ear and cleared my throat letting him know that he could continue.

“She had a photo shoot in England and was heading back to Portugal, she just happened to be on the same flight.” I scoffed at how naïve he could be sometimes. That bitch was sneaky and has wanted Cristiano back ever since we got together, she had connections everywhere and someone must have tipped her off that he would be on that flight, but I let him believe what he wanted to. “She started talking to me, I tried to ignore her, I even told her I was with you and she was just wasting her time, but when she started to flirt with Nani, my competitive side kicked in, and you know how I get when that happens.” I knew exactly how he got; he’d do anything to win, because he never liked the feeling of losing. It wasn’t what made him arrogant and cocky, the fact that he had skill was what made him arrogant and cocky, his hunger and thrive to win is what makes him competitive. Half the fun for him, is the battle, the competitiveness that comes with conquering someone and making them feel so small…cynical? Maybe. But does he enjoy it no matter who it hurts in his life? Very much so, even if it’s someone he loves. So my life falls to pieces because he wanted to prove that he could win Avelina even if she was flirting with Nani…childish. He’s already had her; the least he could do is let Nani take a piece too. Might as well, she’s been with half of their team already…whore. “Karmen, mi querido-“

“DON’T call me that, anymore, ever, again!” I let out loudly, loud enough that I’m sure Fernando and Sergio have already paused their game and are running up the steps now to see what was causing my anger. But I never heard their footsteps.

“Karmen, it meant nothing! You know that!” I almost believed him, almost. But I knew better than to think that anything that had to do with that woman meant nothing to him, his first love, how could it not mean anything to him.

“I can’t talk to you right now, just, let me be for a while. Please don’t call, I’ll call you when I want to talk.” I knew he would protest, so I hung up the phone and let out a deep sigh. I leaned my head back against the wall as I still sat on the floor, crying. I let out a blood-curdling scream and threw my phone against the opposite wall, watching it bounce back to the ground in the middle of the room in three pieces. I couldn’t help but to cry harder as I heard heavy footsteps followed by light, swift ones on the steps. I did the only thing I always did when I was upset and angry, I began to mumble curses in Spanish as I continued to cry. I heard the door open and could feel my brothers presence as he knelt down in front of me, so I started yelling at him as well. “El chico portugués estúpido con su encanto y la belleza estúpidos. Piensa que él me puede engañar, tiene otra venida de cosa. ¡Estúpido, estúpido, estúpido! ¿Por qué permitió usted mí adorarlo? ¿Por qué no dijo que no usted cuándo pregunté si estuvo bien con la idea de mí estando con él? Algún hermano que usted es.” (Stupid Portuguese boy with his stupid charm and good looks. Thinks he can trick me, he has another thing coming. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why did you let me love him? Why didn’t you say no when I asked if you were okay with the idea of me being with him? Some brother you are.) I looked up at him as I finished my rant, noticing Fernando standing against the wall next to my door, watching me.

“Pero dije no.” (But I did say no.) Sergio replied sheepishly as he attempted to wrap his arms around me in a comforting manner. I pushed his arms away, beginning to sob now.

“¡CIERRE LA BOCA!” (Shut your mouth!) “Avelina, Avelina, jodiendo a ramera.” (Avelina, Avelina, fucking bitch.) I mimicked remembering how he would say her name whenever he talked about her. This earned a laugh from my two audience members, which only caused me to break down more. I hid my face in my hands knowing that I looked awful when I cried. Sergio shushed me in a soothing manner but I was helpless. I couldn’t stay with Cristiano after this, not this time, I can’t. Sergio grabbed my wrists trying to pull my hands down from covering my face but I wouldn’t budge. Shortly after, I felt his hands leave my wrists and a new, softer pair of hands engulfed them, gently pulling at my wrists, as if asking permission or requesting me to pull my hands down. I slowly inched my hands down, first revealing my bloodshot eyes to see Fernando staring back at me, his face mere inches from my own. He clicked his tongue, tsking the fact that I hadn’t moved my hands down all the way. He pulled again, so I moved my hands again, still covering my mouth, which with a final tug he had my hands on my knees and he was wiping the still-flowing tears from my eyes. I could see Sergio pacing by my bed, silently mumbling to himself, stopping only when Fernando called his name.

“Karmen.” Sergio let out, worry clear in his voice as he sat in front of me next to Fernando.

“What did he do?” Fernando asked. I opened my mouth to answer, but only caused myself to start crying again. “Shh, shh, no llore sobre Cristiano, por favor.” (Don’t cry over Cristiano, please.) I nodded and sniffled as I slowly began to tell them why I was in the state I was in.

“He bumped into his ex-girlfriend on the plane, and the panting, and getting his phone late, and he-“ I started crying again as Sergio gave me a confused look, not knowing what I was talking about, but Fernando, he had a different reaction to this news. He dropped his hands from my face, balling into fists, his face turning red with fury as he stood up.

“¡Bastardo!” He began to exit the room, but Sergio jumped in front of the door to stop him.

“What’s going on? What is she talking about Fernando?” He let out a heavy sigh knowing that he had to explain, but he didn’t want to waste time.

“I need to go find him and let him know that he’s not just messing with any girl. He can not mess with Karmen the way he did and get away with it, not when I’m alive and breathing.”

“What does she mean about the panting and his phone?!” Sergio yelled at Fernando who wasn’t answering his questions. I had stopped crying enough to regain my composure and I walked over to the two of them and had them walk and take a seat on my bed.

“I called Ronaldo to let him know I was in Madrid and to see if he had landed safely seeing as he didn’t text me to let me know. When I called, he picked up a bit later than he usually does when I call and was panting heavily. Long story short, he was out of breath when he answered and said he was swimming, when I know he never keeps his phone around when he’s doing any type of training and that he was actually supposed to be at his mom’s at this time. I knew he was lying. Fernando knows because he was there when I spoke with Ronaldo. And when I asked why he lied today, he told me the truth, that he had run into his ex on the plane, and…they got reacquainted.” Sergio was the furious one now, storming out of my room and into his own. Fernando and I followed him, attempting to calm his outburst. “Sergio, stop, what are you doing?” He began throwing a few shirts and shorts into a duffel bag and grabbing his wallet and keys from his nightstand.

“Sergio, where are you going?” Fernando asked as he ran alongside his best friend. Sergio stopped at the bottom of the stairs, looking back and forth between Nando and I.

“I’m going to kill that little piece of shit for even thinking about another woman while he was with my sister. WAS Karmen, you end this today, you will not see him again!” I knew better than anyone not to argue with Sergio when he was upset, he was like a rogue elephant when pissed off. Still, Fernando stood in his way.

“Sergio, now is not the time to deal with this. We’ll be seeing him in a week, we can take care of it then, but we are not spontaneously flying to Portugal to try and track down this Porto.” I could tell that Nando was still mad, but he was thinking rationally now. I honestly didn’t want either of them to go to Ronaldo, I could take care of this myself, I understand the overprotective obligation they feel towards me, but I would be able to handle it on my own. The breakdown I had was natural for this process. The fire in Sergio’s eyes died and he dropped his bag on the ground, coming to me and embracing me in a warm hug.

“I’m sorry I didn’t do anything to stop this and that I didn’t watch over you like I was supposed to.” It was my turn to console my brother.

“Shh, Serg, mi hermano, this is not your fault, you have nothing to be sorry about. You’ve kept your promise to mama, you’ve been watching over me since it was just the two of us, don’t blame yourself for this. My love for Ronaldo was not meant to be, I have to find someone else to share it with.” Sergio held my face between his hands and planted a gentle kiss on my forehead before letting go and hugging me again.

“You were always the smart one out of the two of us.” We both laughed as Fernando came over and hugged me once Sergio let go. He placed a kiss on both my cheeks then my forehead and held me tightly as he whispered in my ear before kissing it and walking towards the living room, Sergio following him.

“We’ll work it all out, he won’t hurt you again, I won’t let him.”