I'm Wearing Thin

Lindsay

“You said this wouldn’t happen again.” I sighed shakily, not making eye contact with him. I brushed my fingers against the fresh hickey on his neck and dropped my hand.

“Baby, I was-”

“Drunk. Yeah, I know Alex.”

“You’re mad.” He blindly stated.

“Well yeah, maybe just a little,” I snarled sarcastically, finally looking up at him. His eyes were sad. Right now, I didn’t care whether he felt bad or not. This happened every single time he left.

“You know I love you,” He tried to take my hand, I slapped his hand away.

“Do you really?” I glared. “Because it sure doesn’t seem like it most of the time.”

“I do,” He mumbled pathetically. There was silence for about a minute.

“Just go,” I pointed to the door. He leaned in to kiss me, but I shoved his chest, and walked upstairs into my room, collapsing onto my queen-sized bed, letting the tears fall. Why did this always happen? Was I not good enough for him anymore?

That was probably it. I wasn’t in the best shape, sure, I’m not fat, but I’m not skinny either. I’m just normal; I’ve got some baby fat. I bet his fan girls are big-breasted twig girls, with flawless features and wonderful curves. I bet they do anything he wants, and tell him everything he wants to hear. I bet he never even thinks twice when he’s with those girls.

I dialed Jack’s number. He was my best friend before he even met Alex.

“Hey hey hey!” He greeted. I sniffled. “What’s wrong?” He caught on immediately.

“Why didn’t you stop him?” I whimpered. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“You found out about Alex?” He guessed, sympathy could be heard in his voice.

“Of course I found out about Alex, the hickey was quite obvious. He didn’t even fucking apologize,” I cried.

“Linds, I’m sorry,”

“What’s wrong with me?”

“Nothing is wrong with you,” He said sternly. “Alex is just an ass when he’s drunk. He does love you though.”

I scoffed. “Yeah, sure, okay. I’m sure he doesn’t even care that I’m upset.”

“Well, he’s coming over in about two minutes, so I’ll find out how he feels.” Jack said. “Do you want me to kick him in the nuts?” He asked me.

I giggled. “Kinda, but you don’t have to do that, he’s your best friend too,”

“But you’re like my sister, and he keeps fucking with you. So I’ll do it.”

“No Jack-”

“I gotta go kick him in the nuts, he’s here. I love you, I’ll call you later, peace home skillet,” The line clicked off. I let out a small laugh, and then sighed. I stood up and looked at myself in the mirror.

“No,” I glared at my reflection. “I wont change myself for him.”

I walked down the stairs, popping some chicken nuggets in the oven, and looked through my DVD cabinet, finally finding Mean Girls. That movie always cheered me up.

Twenty minutes later, the oven beeped, signaling my chicken nuggets were ready. I slipped on my oven mitts that had cat faces on them, and carefully pulled out the tray, taking a fork and stabbing each individual nugget, placing them on a plate.

I switched the oven off, put the ketchup back in the refrigerator and just as I was about to go back upstairs my house phone rang. I answered without looking at the caller ID.

“Hello?”

“Baby girl, I’m so sorry I lov-” I pressed the end button, not letting him finish. I looked up at the ceiling, forcing tears back, and marched up to my room, shutting and locking the door behind me.

The phone rang again, and this time I looked at the called ID. It was Kara.

“Hey,” I answered.

“I’m so sorry. Rian told me. Please, give that jackass what he deserves and dump him. You deserve so much better,”

“If I thought I could survive without him, I would, trust me,” I told her honestly. Alex was like my rock. I didn’t really have parents to depend on; they were always traveling for their photography jobs. But lately, my rock was crumbling.