I Don't Want You, I Need You

She had met Sidney when he had made his way into the Carnegie Library where she had been working for the past six months. Eve recently hadn't felt like coming to work everyday, mainly because some of her friends had been getting on her case since it had been a while since she had a boyfriend or even showed interest in a guy. The day he walked in, she admitted that he was cute, but she wasn't going to go and talk to him. She wasn't like some of her friends, she didn't have the confidence that they did.

That day she worked all around since they were short handed. She hadn't realized that someone had been watching her for awhile. When she began checking in books and placing them on the cart, she heard someone clear their throat from the other side of the counter from where she was standing. Looking away from the computer screen, she was met with a pair of deep brown eyes. “Can I help you?”

“I was wondering if you had any events planned for this week?” he asked, a smile played on his lips.

“For the remainder of this week there is a family fun event. All ages welcomed.” Eve said handing him a flier for the month that listed all the activities.

“And are you going to be there?”

“I don't think so.”

“Plans?”

Eve smiled at him. “Yeah, a date with a six year old.”

“Brother?”

“Nephew.”

Scanning a few more books, she was surprised that he was still standing there. “What about after?”

“He's spending the night at my place, so he'll go to bed and I'll stay up doing the homework I should have done while watching whatever movie he picks.”

“Is he the type that picks different movies or the same one over and over again?”

“It switches between Toy Story and Toy Story 2. He even has a Buzz Lightyear and Woody toy,” Eve smiled before walking away with an arm load of books to place on the cart, before walking back. “Was there a point to all the questions?”

“Just trying to figure out when the best time to get you agree to hang out.”

“Probably never,” Eve told him. “I'm busy just about every day.”

“I bet I could change your mind.”

And he had. It had taken him awhile to get Eve to actually agree to just hang out. It took a year for them to actually start dating. When had first told her who he was, she looked utterly clueless and he couldn't help but enjoy the fact that he was with someone that didn't care that he was the face of the Pittsburgh Penguins. It had been five years since she had gone to work that day. Her relationship with him had been amazing and she knew that she loved him and had told him so, but he never told her until last year. She hadn't realized how unsure of himself he was out of his work. But lately things were changing, especially with them.

It took her a few weeks to figure out what she really needed to do. She knew it wasn't going to be easy and his heart wasn't the only one that was going to be broken over it. Breaking up with him was harder than she anticipated it being. When she did it, Eve couldn't look at him. She knew he was hurting just as badly as she was and if she looked into his brown eyes, she would try and take back what she had said. She only let the tears fall as soon as she was back in the comfort of her apartment with no one around.

Days seemed to go by slowly without him around, but he was all over her TV, after all, he was the golden boy. Sidney Crosby meant the world to her and she truly loved him, but sometimes love just wasn't enough. She knew she had done the right thing in letting him go. If she was honest, she didn't really want to let him go but things just weren't like they used to be and she couldn't figure out how to fix it. Sidney had enough to deal with in his life and without her, he had one less thing to worry over.

No longer having Sidney in her life sucked. She missed him terribly and it had only been two weeks since she last talked to him or saw him. The pictures of them were still in her apartment, she couldn't take a few of them down since if she did she'd be taking down the few pictures she had of herself with her family. Seeing Sidney in the pictures didn't help her since she still missed him terribly, but she knew it was for the best for the both of them.

By the third week, she felt the same as she had the day she ended things with him. Going into work had been its own battle. Her so-workers giving her sympathy glances and some of the older kids full on staring at her. She never asked for the attention, but it came with who Sidney was and what he did. Walking inside, she stopped dead in her tracks. Right there in front of her was Sidney and some blonde woman who was all over him and he wasn't complaining. He was actually smiling. So that meant he moved on and that was good, but it didn't stop the pain in her chest anymore than she could stop breathing. Walking past him, she didn't look at him or at her. She wasn't about to let him see how she wasn't over him.

Going behind the check out counter, she grabbed a few books and made her way towards the back room. She still had twenty minutes before her shift actually started and she wasn't going to stay out there and watch Sidney get on with his life while she couldn't get past him. The moment she saw him with that blonde, she knew that she made a huge mistake, but there wasn't anything she could do about it now. If he was happy with the blonde, then she wasn't going to turn into the jealous ex-girlfriend even if she was one. Brushing her bangs out of her face, she sat down and opened up the book she grabbed and tried to repair it. She hated seeing good books being tossed out before they needed to be, so she tended to try and fix it.

“Knock knock.”

Eve's head snapped up at the sound of his voice.

“Sidney...”

“Eve, I was hoping you were working today.”

“I haven't changed my schedule,” Eve said, standing up and placing the book on the table before looking at him. “Where's your girlfriend?”

“Who?” Sidney asked. “Amanda?”

“The one that was all over you when I came in.”

“There isn't anything happening between me and Amanda,” Sidney said, “There is someone else.”

“I see,” Eve said as she went to walk around him, but he blocked her path. “Excuse me.”

“No.” he told her.

“I have to clock in.” Eve said.

“Why didn't we work out?” Sidney asked, moving to stand directly in front of her.

“Sid...”

“I just don't think you thought it all the way through.”

“We just weren't working, Sidney. You'll find someone that can be there for you how you want and need them to be. Maybe one day we can even be friends again.”

“Eve, I don't want to be friends with you.”

Lowering her eyes, she made to go around him, but he grabbed onto her arm. “I don't want to do this right now, Sidney, please just let me go.”

“I can't,” Sidney told her as he placed his hand on the side of her face. “All this time we have been apart has been killing me.”

“I'm sorry,” Eve told him. “I am doing what is best. That's all.”

“Best for who?” Sidney asked. “For me or for you?”

“For the both of us,” Eve said. “Can we please not do this right now? I don't need my co-workers hearing this conversation.”

“I've held my tongue since you decided that we weren't working.”

“We weren't!” Eve said raising her voice slightly as she moved away from him. “I know I wasn't happy and you can't stand there and tell me that you were.”

“Things were changing, but what relationship doesn't?” Sidney asked. “It isn't as if we were fighting all the time.”

“I know, but I won't stay in a relationship when I'm not happy. I might love you, but how is staying together when I'm not happy and neither are you at times?”

“So you still love you?” Sidney asked, a smile on his face.

“I'm not going to just wake up one day and not love you. We were together for four years and that doesn't change anything.”

Sidney leaned his face towards her and placed a soft kiss on the corner of her mouth.

“My heart beats for you. I can't concentrate on anything like I used to do so easily before. We might be young, but I love you,” Sidney said dropping to one knee and taking her hand into his. “Eve. I don't want you, I need you. Will you marry me?”

Feeling the tears in her eyes, Eve couldn't find her voice. Looking into Sidney's eyes, she didn't know what to say. She wasn't sure if he was being serious or not. “Oh, wait,” he told her as he pulled something out of his jacket pocket. A black velvet box. Opening it up, she saw a diamond ring that blew her mind. “Marry me?”

Eve nodded her head, not being able to find her voice just yet.

With a smile on his face Sidney slid the ring onto her finger and Eve wrapped her arms around his neck as he hugged her. Looking up at him, she ran a hand though his hair before she kissed him. She wanted him to know how much she truly loved him. She never wanted him to doubt that she ever stopped loving him.

As soon as they broke the kiss, Eve looked into his eyes and smiled, “My heart is yours.”