We're All Just Pawns

The next day I woke up and decided to go for a jog, very unnatural for me. I took my iPod, cell phone, and some money in my bra, just in case. My footsteps fell in time with my heart. My thoughts were once again consumed with Spencer Reid. I wanted him to stay over last night, claiming to be afraid, but he didn’t go for that. “It’s inappropriate,” his voice echoed in my head. Another person’s body smacking into my own caused my head phones to come out and my day dream to end. “I’m so sorry!” I exclaimed reaching for my iPod. “It’s my fault,” a deep voice proclaimed and I finally looked up. A guy in a bright red tank top and white basketball shorts stood before me. His short brown hair blew in the breeze, and I suddenly felt like this was a movie scene. I tugged at my own tank top nervously and smiled back. We stood silent and grinning for another minute before I started to reach for my music again. “Wait,” his hand shot out and I looked at his gorgeous blue eyes again. “Can I buy you a coffee?” I sighed but agreed, trying not to look too eager. It took a five minute walk to Starbucks and a three minute wait in line in to learn that his name was Jacob, and he was going to be a junior at the same high school I was enrolling in. He loved English, played football and more importantly, he liked me. Jacob touched my hand before parting ways with me. “Will you come to a pool party with me tonight?” I bit my lip. “How about you give me the address and I’ll see what I can do?” This was not what he had wanted, but he borrowed a pen and wrote that plus his number on a napkin for me to keep.

I took a shower as soon as I got home then began the real task; trying on swimsuits. That was probably the first time in a while I honestly didn’t think about Spencer. I was so excited to meet someone for my new school; maybe a few at this party if I was lucky. He thought I was cute, he really did. I thought about it over and over; the way his eyes stayed on mine, like no other teenage boy had been able to manage. My music was playing loud throughout the apartment and I couldn’t stop smiling. My hips were swinging to the beat as I tied my top to inspect in the mirror. The blue and white polka dot tankini looked pretty cute if you asked me. A knocked sounded on my door. I spun around to see Reid holding a pizza box, confused. “I met someone!” I squealed and darted to find flip flops. If I finished getting ready, and had Spencer drive me, I would get there fashionably late. He smiled and set the box down, “Oh?” I nodded very fast. “He goes to my school, well, the school I’m going to be going to. And he invited me to a pool party. So, quick, tell me if this looks good!” I was jumping up and down trying to coax him into an answer. “Wait, who is this kid? Do you trust him? Do you even know him?” His words were weirdly familiar; he sounded like a parent. “Gee thanks dad, I didn’t ask for questions. Just grab your keys; I have an address for you to take me to.” I snagged the towel from my bed and walked towards him. He held up two hands. “No,” he said firmly, “I’m not taking you there and you’re not going.” I backed up and reached into my bag. “Fine, I’m calling a cab. Take a step down from that high horse while I’m gone. I’ll see you later.” I brushed past him, grabbing a dress from the table before walking outside. Spencer wasn’t going to think he could control me, no guy would.

I got a ride home from Jacob around ten o’clock, with him promising to come have dinner with me on my birthday; that’s it. There was no kiss; there was barely even a hug. I was supremely disappointed, but somehow relieved. I wanted it, a cute new boyfriend at school, but maybe it was best to leave it alone for a while. Before I could get the key turned, the door jerked from my hand. “There you are,” Reid said, though I was momentarily distracted by his frazzled state. My wet dress was clinging uncomfortably to me and I really didn’t want to listen to a speech. “I was worried sick about you,” his voice was jittery. “Take a chill pill Captain Dad,” I rolled my eyes and pushed passed him. My head was a tiny bit light and so were my steps. Maybe I’d had a drink at the party, but I couldn’t tell Spencer that, he was practically a cop. I peeled off my outer layer of clothing after dropping my tote to the floor. His face stayed mad, flushed with anger, as he looked at me. “I’m serious Emily. You went out with some boy, to some party. What if something had happened? Garcia would’ve killed me.” I laughed, but said nothing else. My humming drowned out whatever else he was saying, but he did follow me to my room. And he did continue to lecture me. As I dug through my drawers for clothes, he didn’t shut up. I turned to find him sitting on my bed, looking cute even if he was annoying, spouting off statistics about the probability of date rape for girls under the age of eighteen. I pressed a finger against his lips. “Please just stop because, at the moment, I don’t care. I’m standing in a swimsuit, that happens to be wet, in front of you and you can’t stop talking. Normally I would love you for that, but I’ve got a slight amount of alcohol in my system and I just want you to tell me I’m pretty.” Whoops, I guess I let that one slip. He continued to just watch idly by. “You sit and think. I’ll shower.”

I emerged only ten minutes later feeling very much sobered up. I laid my glasses on the bathroom sink and stared at myself in the mirror. Red rings lined my eyes, and it became clear how tired I was. I let my socks slide across the wooden flooring as I made my way to my room. It didn’t occur to me that Reid would still be there, with that innocent look plastered across his face. I didn’t say anything, so neither did Spencer. I turned off the light and walked to the other side of my bed. I crawled under the covers, burrowing my face into my pillow, and trying to pretend like he wasn’t still sitting there. He stood and his sigh was very noticeable, but he quickly lay down on top of the covers. I flipped on my back and stared at the glow-in-the-dark stars on my ceiling. “Since you are a fan of profiling, let’s take a look at you,” I began. “Why do you hate touching so much? I can’t hug you without feeling like you’re disgusted with the thought of it.” The silence was unnerving. “I just don’t know how to,” he said just above a whisper. I snorted. “How to touch people you mean? It’s easy. I’ll show you.” I placed my hand on his forearm. “No need to be sarcastic. I can’t comfort people, it’s not me.” I removed my hand and relaxed again. “Whatever,” I said. I felt his weight adjust and the covers tug. “Fancy meeting you here,” I joked, hoping he would loosen up. His breathing was rhythm tic and I almost fell asleep listening to it. That was until I felt him slide closer, then I took the liberty leaning up and placing his arm under my head. “You okay?” I asked him. I turned on my right side so I could see the outline of his face in the dim light. His muscle beneath my neck softened, and he didn’t even react when I tossed my left arm across his torso. “Still doing well?” I questioned, but I had nothing. I heard him let out a big breath of air. “Yeah, I’m good.” For some reason I just knew he was smiling. His left hand began stroking my hair and that’s when I smiled. “Reid?” I said and he grunted in response, typical male. At least he was somewhat normal. “I’m going to sleep now.” Things got quiet and I took that as him going to sleep too, but that’s when he began to talk. “Shall I compare thee to a summer’s day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate,” his words faded away, and I remembered why I really liked nerdy boys. They could be so romantic.